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Relationship of our partner with other person.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shivi0189, Oct 4, 2015.

  1. shivi0189

    shivi0189 New IL'ite

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    Hi ILites, I want to know from all of you (both men & women) that how comfortable and fine you are if your partner is having one night stand with any random person. I mean he/she is sexually involved just for one night for fun.

    Why I am asking this is because my husband always teases me by saying that he want to have one night stand with some random woman (for example (he always give this example to me) as Ranbir kapoor had with a foreign woman in movie "ye jawani hai deewani" in the song "Ilahi") and he says what's the big deal if I get sexually involved with someone just for one night, at the end of the day I am coming to you and all yours. Afterall I will not be emotionally involved, I'll be physical. At the end when I'll be crying or not talking to him then he'll say sorry and he also says that I like teasing you this way and see you feel jealous of other woman.
    It really scares the hell out of me. I told him very clearly and strictly that I can't tolerate betrayal whether its physical or emotional.The day I will find that he is involved in any such thing that will be the last day we'll be together. But again and again this topic is coming and he says I have seen other women who are OK if their husband had sexual intimacy with other woman just for one night. I am really very scared of this thing and unable to trust him. I always fear and doubt him. Whenever he is out of station or talks of other woman being beautiful, I really doubt him. And he says why you can't take things lightly, from now on I'll not tell anything to you, I will not be teasing you and will not be doing any kind of "mazaak" with you.

    I don't know whether he is serious or just teasing me but I want to know from all of you, whether you can tolerate this if such things happen in real and if your partner is teasing you, upto what level you can bear?
     
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I would have brought the roof down and made him know how sick and un funny it was.Probably distanced myself emotionally.

    If it came up the second time...I would be out of the door for good because there is no way I could trust such a man .Such men don't stop themselves because the wife is upset or crying.

    OP...have you asked him if he is okay with you having one night stands with random men because there are men out there who let their wives do it?
    Saying something like this once can be some kind of sick mazaak....but not when it is coming up again and again.

    He is not joking,he wants to have his cake and eat it too.Have his docile wife who lets him behave like this at home and a special dish outside. Sicko!

    Do you have a child ?If not...think a million times before having one.

    Where exactly in Hyderabad is he looking to have these one night stands ?I would strongly suggest you protect yourself sexually .
     
  4. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    shivi0189

    The only thing that kept coming to me again and again is that ..... he has either tasted it already and trying to find out what your reactions could be... or has a strong intention (and the needful resources) of doing it (just hovering around)...

    I have no logical explanation for what I have written above .. but its just a gut feeling or a woman's instinct that is making me say this...

    "mazaak" part of the dialogue is a nothing but a truck load of bull ****... a way of "petting" you...

    remember girl.. you are no "pet" ... you are his wife and he better respect that...
     
  5. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    What level can I bear?

    His first time teasing will be his last time teasing me on "one night stands" ... and he will think 10 times before "teasing" at all ..

    I am ok not having a funny husband or even a husband for that matter...if these are his thoughts...
     
    nakshatra1 and Metamorphic like this.
  6. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    I sorry to say this, but can you tell your husband in the same funny teasing manner, that even you want to have a one night stand with some random male, and see his reaction.....if he really gets offended by this, then tell him how you have been getting hurt by these kind of cheap funny teasing from him....
     
    NeetaR likes this.
  7. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    Let him know as per Indian law he can be arrested for adultery and tell him you have police friends in the department.
     
  8. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    for all you know..he may love the idea and take the game to next level... if you know what I mean...
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. ranirm

    ranirm Bronze IL'ite

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    Why dont you ask have he not seen any guy ok with thier wife having sexual intimacy with other men just for a night ?Why dont you ask him if he is ok if you are also same kind of thought for men...? I know this will be so disgusting to ask but he has to taste his own medicine..but i dont know if he will realize his mistake. I dont understand any kind of teasing in this..this is emotional abuse and haunting...
     
  10. shubini

    shubini Silver IL'ite

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    Shivi

    Yes many women might be ok with that and if your value system does not allow that be bold and convey it straightforwardly.

    Second adultery is an offense as per Hindu marriage law....even chatting online with a women is considered adultery and definitely one night stand is 100% adultery. He will be entitled to 7 years of imprisonment if the husband of the girl involved in adultery raises a case. Check for legal pointers. There are lawyers in this forum as well.

    Second you might pick up a disease if you have sex with an adulterated person and so watch for it and say that you will have to demand some tests to prove him clean.

    Some men need to to treated brutally with facts and data and some emotionally but 99% are the self-realisation category.

    If you are not ok then say so and also tell him what you will do if he goes for a night stand and do it. Do not say you will leave him or apply for divorce and all that. Say something that is practical to be done and definitely be bold enough to do it.

    Good luck against your challenge. You will definitely be out of it soon. Handle it intellectually girl.
     

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