Relationship Hijack And Banter - 3

For a moment I thought the gate-keeper was a bald Virat Kohli!!

I had seen Restaurants in India with "Right of Admission Reserved" sign posted right next to the uniformed gate keeper who lets in clients.

I didn't know that these could be illegal. I had seen this in many South American cities. Usually to do with "men having to wear jacket/tie", "men having to be accompanied with a woman", and "NO children/dogs". Very often restaurants themselves provide the necessary cure (except onsite baby sitting) by handing out tie-jackets for the semi-dressed, or have a menu of escorts on the premises. Such restaurants always tend to allow parties of Two women, but rarely parties of Two men.

I would have wondered if "ethnic" in Delhi should be the western outfit, such as the one the gate-keeper was wearing in the video ?

 

The world as you had known it, would end...men will be self-isolating, and then we'd all be hunter-gatherers.

 

Ofcourse but I went to buy my essentials like water and veggies as I din’t hoard like many others.

 

Some years ago, young foreign born child asks her desi Aunty how come uncle (that desi Aunty's husband) had gone total curmudgeon-y on everybody. The American child used the word "grumpy". Aunty explained that the uncle is working on creating a situation, so that when he finally "departs", most of the near-ones could breathe a sigh of relief... and get on with life, perhaps even a wee bit happier. Sentiments such as:

, while de rigueur, the opinion would always come with implicit shades of grey from each of the surrounding ones. Much would depend on how the smiler had prepared the surrounders for the sayonara.

 

Every response to this thread was to run and keep running.

Was speaking to a tech friend seeking bride and he spoke of a girl whose conditions were:

-I have a family debt, my salary shouldn't be demanded for any expenses. You can't ask me to quit, neither I can be forced to work - i would like to retain the option of resigning once i payoff the debts.

-No kid making business for few years.

-Kitchen assist. Won't do dishes or laundry - never done that so it's your task.

How is this even reasonable, particularly the finances? A guy is to own a flat in his place of work, family assets while it is strictly 'don't expect anything' at the other end?

There was another case where the guy mentioned 2 plots in the asset column and he was asked to provide a copy of the document.

This whole process of finding the so called soulmate is like that kid trying to fetch the cricket ball that fell deep into the gutter.

 

Indian men are now waking up to a new reality, women that consider themselves equal players in the arranged marriage business. I don’t see much wrong in what the potential bride is asking for :
A) women want more control of their careers / finances and handling their family’s finances, B) have a say in child bearing ( not dependent on when Dadi wants Pota)
C) How many Indian men have gotten away with not doing dishes and laundry for ages ??

What will make life easier for these potential grooms is viewing the women as equals and not being offended if they know what they want. Please tell your friends that.

Women have not only fetched the cricket ball from the gutter but kept the test match going. Roles are reversed !

 

Not every response.
@ArunaJan is merely engaged in due_diligence process before the big decision. Quite justifiable from both sides in this negotiation.

One could indeed feel happy that arranged marriages do involve such stipulations, as well as wonderments about what might happen in plausible future scenarios. Only recently there was this heartrending comment from a time when girls did not quite have control of what is happening to them:

....I was married at a time when parents used to believe that woman should adjust to the family they are married and once married they did not want their daughter to come back to their house. They are told whatever it is they should adjust and be a role model in the house. Since each family is different and we are brought up in a different manner in our house, it takes time to adjust and once we adjust then no problem to lead a happy life. ....​

However, I don't quite get the cricket ball in gutter comment. Is that about "it is a dirty job, but someone has to do it, in order to get the game going" ? If it be so, then it ought to be a two person job.

 

15 years into a marriage, is straightening really an option ? Perhaps Ddream explained the same in her reply. Develop immunity towards his behavior. Amulet says 4 years down the lane think of Divorce. Rih says don't count the fights and apologies now. Perhaps all are good options which OP can consider. Mending him now is an unfruitful task.

There's a saying in a local language which I'll translate roughly to English "One which didn't bend as a plant will not bend as a tree".

 

Both this girl and guy in that Arunajan's thread look too practical for me. I'm really in confusion of this is a good progress or not in arranged marriages. I really appreciate their open up.