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Reasons not to mess with a child.

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vivbass, Dec 18, 2006.

  1. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    :tongue:tongue:tongue:tongue

    One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or loo king up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."
    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.. " "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chipcookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples".

    It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too!!
     
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  2. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I enjoyed all of them, especially the last one ~God is watching the apples.
    Nice snippet. :clap
     
  3. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    hi

    hi viji,
    i enjoyed this a lot..especially the last one damn good keep posting such wonderfull things...regards sunkan:-D
     
  4. slgayatri

    slgayatri Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Viji...

    These are very nice........
    I liked them a lot. :clap
    Keep posting such things......

    Gayathri....:wave
     
  5. sathya

    sathya Gold IL'ite

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    nice

    hi
    really good to read (laugh aloud!) the one abt painting god ive read somewhere.. i only hope no sincere and kind teacher gets to read it.. they spend their entire life just `growing' up children nicely!!

    sathya
     
  6. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    thanx

    Dear all,thanx for ur comments,sure i'll keep sending...
    bye..
     
  7. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Vijibhaskar,
    I enjoyed this post very much, thank you. I read in a mag. that a child asked her grandma - if Vasudev and Devaki were put in separate jails, they would not have had children- Kamsan is a fool!
    Children think more cleverly than adults!
     
  8. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    oh really funny....:-D really that kid is sharp...
     
  9. krishnaamma

    krishnaamma Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Same same

    Hi,
    I used to tell stories to my son Krishna, and while I was telling about Vasudev and Devaki he asked like this (Now he is studying final year B.E.:-D ). I blinked and then I told that husband and wife means they must live together. Then I continued the story. Children are tooooo clever than us.
    Bye,
    Krishna amma
     
  10. krishnaamma

    krishnaamma Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Super jokes

    Hi Viji,

    Jokes are super and keep posting.
    Bye,
    Krishna amma:wave
     

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