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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by virtualkv2020, Nov 8, 2019.

  1. virtualkv2020

    virtualkv2020 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi all...
    I am trying to understand a Man's mind.Why would a very well educated and financially settled successful man in this "ERA" be not happy with the fact that his wife will inherit assets from his in laws down in the future and create a fuss about this?

    Is it the greed to have everything including his wife & kids in control?
    Is it to giveaway to extended family members and/or to his girl friend in case of an EMA?
    To freely experiment with the assets without the need of the wife's consent?
    Is it to simply satisfy his ego?
    or all of the above ??? :eek:

    Case 1 My cousin went through this phase during her younger days and finally gave up.I salute her widowed mom who stood firm for the sake of her grand kids.After the kids grew up the guy finally gave in.

    Case 2 My mom's friend's daughter went through a similar situation after she lost her brother.Her widowed mom successfully swam against the evil tide.

    Does this mean it take a life time for a man to realize his mistake? Have any of your experienced the above, how did you deal with it? Please pen down your thoughts.
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Always glad to speculate on what makes people behave how they do and provide probable cause for human folly, obliquity and transgression. But, I could not figure out what exactly the men in question are guilty of. Is it that they are trying to control the monies their wives inherit early or late in life? Kindly elaborate so we can respond better. : )
     
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  3. virtualkv2020

    virtualkv2020 Platinum IL'ite

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    The men in both cases clearly wanted money/assets from the wife’s side for reasons known best to them.In other words they were demanding for extra dowry and/or the wife’s share.They retorted to several gimmicks like buttering the wife in the 1st phase, abusing her verbally or physically until the wife gave in. Both the men were actually leading a lavish life style. It’s their mother in law’s who stood firm. After several unsuccessful attempts the same men are now loving to their wives while their kids are happily settled. Why do independent Men feel the need to acquire wife’s share? A wife should not hold on to any asset whether it’s her earning or inherited from her parents.Is this how many Indian men are made to believe even today? Such an evil thing to do.
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh. Did the husbands want the assets in their name ??
     
  5. virtualkv2020

    virtualkv2020 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes assets/cash in their name, they didn’t wanted to wait till she inherits her share.
     
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  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Possible reasons for their behavior:
    Demanding extra dowry - because they received dowry.
    Demanding wife's share - sometimes or often the woman does not get her share later in life due to a number of factors, such as brothers influencing parents or parents passing away without a clear will.

    These are only possible reasons, not justification for their behavior.
     
  7. virtualkv2020

    virtualkv2020 Platinum IL'ite

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    What if they wanted it specifically on their name even before the wife gets it ? Do they do this to have a superior feeling over the wife? Does love even exists when one plays a chess game with their spouse? I wonder.
     
  8. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    :lol::roflmao:
    Wedding was the first transaction. After that happens, marriage is a series of negotiations, and transactions. When the woman or the man involved in this married life are not capable, or even know/see/need anything different, that is the life they get. There was never any love, perhaps the parties did not want/see/need that.

    Whoever has a better bargaining position, and a better negotiator, wins the whatever that was in contention.
    The negotiating wore him down :smash2:?
    or... Was he finally overcome with "love" :hmmm: ?
    Same goes for women. Marrieds fight over something that drags them both into a lifelong morass, and then they suddenly find themselves too old to care one way or the other. A grim quiet overtakes, and other onlookers mistake that as mutual-understanding, or "love".
     
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  9. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hmm. That's just evil behavior??
    The assets have to be in wifes name.
    Just like their family assets get in their name.
     
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  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Perhaps this could be a justification:

    When a man owns the woman, and the woman owns an asset, the logic of transitivity* kicks in, and the man contends he owns the asset.
    one may ask: How can a man own a woman?
    The answer : because she lets him.​

    *transitivity
    1. n. (logic and mathematics) a relation between three elements such that if it holds between the first and second and it also holds between the second and third it must necessarily hold between the first and third.
     

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