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re-marriage

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by ideasopinions, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. ideasopinions

    ideasopinions New IL'ite

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    hi,

    There was a marriage of 15 days and filed for annulment stating the reason that I was frigid. (I did not get pregnant and a hoard of other reasons)

    I do not want to go to courts now and am practically bored. Im not interested in neither the relationshiop, the person, the proceedings, nor to prove anything to anyone.

    I just want to say ok to the annulment and give up. My lawyer says that if I give up now (my cross-examination is pending), it would look like I have no proof and that I am accepting all his allegations. Which, in turn, would be a stigma for me in my future. Having a frigid tag would affect whole life.

    I have three questions:
    1. Can I not give up saying "I do not agree to any of the allegations, but I just would like to move on.So, I agree to the annulment"

    2. Do we have to upload all these divorce papers somewhere and show proof of non-frigidity etc when we intend to get married again? I mean if theres love and prince charming etc, its beautiful, but considering the world around and the scheming MILs, SILs, dowry, (do ppl ask for dowry second time around too? he..he...sorry) how does it all go?

    3. I was trying to go abroad and file some visa papers, they all ask for marital status. It has - single, -legally separated -divorcced
    If I get annulment, wht is my status?
     
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  2. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    Your post as such is ambiguous. You say you were married only for 15 days and where does pregnancy come into the picture of a 15 day marriage?

    It is advisable to go for a mutual consent divorce. This will help both of you get a clean chit. Yes, when you go for a second marriage you past is well scrutinized. The MILs and SILs will still be around but in a different costume.

    Annulment is dissolving a marriage. You can annul on only certain grounds. This has been discussed in other thread in this forum. This is treated on a broad level of a divorce.

    Why is that you don't want to contest their allegations? Your lawyer is correct. If you allow an annulment to happen because of your status, it is a mark on your future marriage too.
     
  3. ideasopinions

    ideasopinions New IL'ite

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    I have contested enough.Its been going on for 2 years. I am just fed up.
    I am not interested anymore in going around the courts.

    Is it not possible that I just say, " I am not interested in fighting anymore and that I need to move on? And that is why I am giving this up"

    Well, as for pregnancy, rather no pregnancy, that is apparently what shows that I am frigid and incapable mentally and physically to lead a normal life. I and my family is a fraud and my parents cheated him by hiding my frigidity. Now dont ask me how my parents were to know even if I were really frigid.

    The bottom line is that I am not interested anymore to even attend the hearing or even to speak something there.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2010
  4. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    What does frigid mean??
     
  5. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    I think they mean Cold (as in bedroom).Dear..I think you need to sort it out.I know its hard and you want them to die and go away. But its better if you face it now.

    Take care.
    FL
     
  6. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    You sound very cynical, the way things are moving made you so, I guess.

    Being frigid sums up to "being averse to sex life", if thats the case with you and you are still a virgin, your ex does have a chance right ?

    Are you a virgin ?
    Did you have intercourse with him ?
    Can you not get a virginity test and prove you are not frigid, in case you are not ?
     
  7. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    Having sex to a doll

    But in decent terms I guess being cold and just lay there with no feelings whatsoever. You get what I mean I guess ;)
     
  8. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    ideasopinions,

    If you get annulment BEFORE submitting visa papers your marital status will be 'single'

    One of my friend's distant relative was divorced based on the same reason 'frigidity'. She got re-married, did not have to prove anything to guy's family, and she has a beautiful child. So all those were false allegations against her.

    You do not have to prove to anyone about it. But yes, you must be prepared to face the questions from the world.

    This part of your life is really tough. But be strong and have little patience. Things will fall in place.

    Best Regds
    Archana
     
  9. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    I have read your story before. You were probably not frigid your husband was a sex maniac. Forget him girl and move on.

    Kavya.
     
  10. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    I dont think whatever the cause of the divorce is going to effect the end result. Your ex will say all the nasty things in the world against you ultimately. So what difference does it make what you said he said.Congrats on the divorce decision. I am saying congrats becoz no sane person cud have lived with that maniac.You made a wise decision.

    Do not agree to anything. Just see to it that it causes minimum black mark on you. Divorce is not a stigma . Its sometimes a breather.
    Dont upload anything right now or after the divorce. When you do meet somebody try to develop the relationship to good trust before disclosing anything.Some people pick and pick for their own amusement. I remember one guy's dad asking my sister whether my dad paid my degree fees in cash or cheque.How ridiculous. That was none of his business to ask. He just did it for his own amusement. Thank God it didnt work out.So such people you can come across for yourself. So dont disclose anything and wait for the right time.

    Forgot to add. Regarding your visa papers consult an immigration attorney and your divorce attorney about your status.Good Luck.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2010

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