Rama's Choice

Anandchitra · Nov 26, 2008

In Rama Rajya, one voice of protest and dissent was gradually making itself heard. It spread from one ear to another, from one house to the next, from one province to the next. Initially it created a faint rumble, but gradually the faint murmur acquired the intensity of audible words.

And what was it all about?

One washerman and his wife doubted the purity of Sita because she had stayed as a prisoner of Ravana! In the Royal Court, they declared:

"O Noble king, as a perfect master you should always lead the most ideal life, above any reproach. There should not be darkness under the lamp! Our culture and tradition does not allow infidel woman to stay with her husband. She must be deserted/banished. Sita has stayed in the custody of Ravana as a prisoner. What proof she has to prove her innocence and purity! Who will believe her? It will be better if you leave her. It will be in conformity with the noble tradition of Raghu Dynasty, as well as a just gesture on your part as the king of Ayodhya."

Rama and the whole court was stunned to listen to these inauspicious words of the washerman. But who can hold the tongue of the masses! Who can shut the mouth that speaketh thus! Rama tried to put an end to this useless allegation by informing the court and the assembly about the Fire Test that Sita has already gone through and passed successfully. But this did not convince everyone. An occasional voice of protest was still heard in the court.

Then Rama offered that Sita would take another Fire Test to prove her innocence and purity. To this Sita herself took objection. She said,

"O my lord, there will always be some one who cannot be satisfied by any 'test' or any proof. Their convictions are hard-pressed in their psyche and no amount of genuine proof will convince them about the truth, for they do not want to get convinced. They are born to raise doubts about the Truth itself.

Today this washerman has stood to cast aspersions on my character, tomorrow some one else is sure to follow the suit. He would want fresh proof. Then should I continue to pass the test every day? O noble lord, I appeal to you to make your own judgment and act accordingly."

Rama passed many sleepless nights. Sita was carrying his two sons in her womb. She was innocent, Rama knew and believed. But as a righteous king, as the caretaker of all, not only in matters of food and shelter, but also regarding their emotions and conventions he was accountable.
Ultimately, Rama decided to desert Sita, the Purity personified!!!

For many years I wondered if that was the right choice. Who can question someone with the stature of Rama? Does it mean that what he did was acceptable?

I was preparing a quiz on Ramayana last night when I came across this chapter and my question came back again.
I could never accept the decision that Rama took. It appears to me he took it based on his needs and his image as the King. He took it to justify his position in his kingdom.

Rama felt he was accountable as he was the king. Maybe the proper thing to do was to step down from his duties and remain by his wife.

But stepping down will result in his breaking his vows that he took when he took on the throne.
So are the vows he took as a husband any less serious and can they be bended? Or broken.

These days too many break their vows all around us resulting in divorces. It is slowly becoming an acceptable way of life.

Vows are not revered and given the sanctity they deserve. We do have a precedent in this in Rama. Or maybe I should not question so! What do you think?

corallux · Nov 26, 2008

Dear AC,

Now I may sound harsh here but it is a question many women have been asking for generations. But were suppressed.

Ok, Sita had to undergo an "Agni pariksha". But what about Ram? How come he was let off? Just because he is a male?

Or is it because Ramayan was written by a Male? From generations on end, women have been told to be like Sita. But for a hubby like Ram who could not keep up his marriage vows?

In my opinion AC, if Ram was that concerned, he should have given up the kingdom & moved to the forest with Sita. He did not even visit Sita when his twins were born.

What sort of justice is this for poor Sita & her daughters?

No wonder women get offended when elders say "May you have a hubby like Ram."

A very provoking blog AC.

Regards,

Corallux

Jenz · Nov 26, 2008

Dear AC,

Gute Fraage! (That means Good Question - German!) Can't help posing a big smile to the extremes after reading your blog!

Lots of such conflicting or contradicting areas in Ramayana & Mahabaratha. As usual our ancestors projected and hyped only what suited them (mostly supressing women).
If the old saying of 'Charity begins at home' was /is true - then Rama should have ensured first he takes care of his family (Sita) and only then can he become a good ruler too!

Anyways, bygones be bygones ;-)

Cheers
Jenz

Anitha.Kumari · Nov 26, 2008

We can take a look at other side when sita asked to undergo the agni pariksha , she did not just take it and be there with him.
She just went into the earth saying she cannot take this anymore.
That is a strong lady she gave birth to Two Boys and brought them up all alone and she proved the world she is devine and without taking any crap she vanished.
Why not look at the brighter side of that devine lady and focus on that.
In this world we focus lots on unwanted and they tend to grow and send the message that thats what we need.
We buy many paper when some tragedy happens ..
We watch news when some diaster strikes. When something invented or some good deed happens how many of us focus on that??
What we focus that grows and what we see that returns.
Take the best of any story ..leave the rest for the imaginatons of writer.

Arunarc · Nov 26, 2008

Hi AC
yaar you have put all into thinking on something. I am going according to Corallux when Sita had given Agni parisha Ram should have also given why he did not do so. When he got married he had promised that he will take full care of her and she will be the only wife then why just becoz what the washerman said he had to send Sita the forest.
I read these books just as some story books this way we will find many..........which is not acceptable today.

Jpatma · Nov 26, 2008

Dear,
Sita's agni pariksha has been a subject of debate, i used to be so angry abt Rama's decision.
But now after reading scriptures & contemplating my views have changed.
1) Remember Ramayana took place at a different yuga ,so it will be difficult to compare current style of thinking with sathya yuga
2) Though Rama was an avathar unlike krishna he behaved like human.
3) Though Sita left him, Rama didn't marry again, though it was customary at that yuga to have more than one wife. (what is right at times can be wrong later on) I was told devadasi's were held in great esteem at one time and another yuga they were looked down. So there is no question of right or wrong, it all matters what is the practice at that time.
4) No issues are straight forward in our epics,most are complex situations what is dharma fitted at that time.
5)Rama acted as an ideal monarch at that time,In classical representations of a monarch, his responsibilities to his subjects are paramount Rama, as the ideal monarch, is completely unlike a feudal monarch,
who views his "divine right to rule" as licence to do whatever he
wants. Rama is presented as ever responsive to the concerns of his
subjects. As a husband, he had a duty towards Sita. But as a ruler,
he also had to protect her reputation as the queen. That is why he
asked her to go through the agni-parIkshA, so that Sita's fidelity
was proved before a large audience. Even after that, years later,
there was one subject who doubted her. At this juncture, Rama's duty
as a king responsible for his subjects took precedence over his
duty as a husband responsible for his wife. The subject who
criticized Rama and Sita was not really an outsider to Rama, because
of Rama's duty to him as his king. Thus, the only way to protect
the ideal queen Sita is by sacrificing the wife Sita.
6) He remained true to her even after that & there was a time his duty as a son took precedence over other matters.

So i feel it will be not in depth if we compare the epics to our present style life. I feel there may be a lot unsaid or unexplained issues in our epics which is beyond our comprehension.
May God bless you
Jaya

Anandchitra · Nov 27, 2008

Corallux
You are not being harsh here. I have always thought of this and this has certainly influenced my religious thoughts and beliefs.
There is no doubt situations and factors favored the male counterpart as it does today. If those days times and customs and traditions were the enemies of women today we have women being the enemy of each other.
Just wanted to share my thoughts on this subject and entertain other perspectives too.
Thanks for stepping in here Corallux.

Anandchitra · Nov 27, 2008

Jenz
You have a valid point about Charity begins at home.
Considering the hardships he would have to encounter taking up a life in the forests, he should not have put his wife through all of that as well.
These are not bygones as worse still happens in today's cultured world.

Anandchitra · Nov 27, 2008

AnithaKumari
Well said about 2 things. One is to focus on the brighter side of things on any subject. The other point you have made very good is about the fact that Sita left everything and at the end merged into Earth.
There is no doubt she is a strong woman as well as a trend setter. Imagine if this was set way back in the old ages then its not only surprising but phenomenal that she did what she did! Thanks for stepping in here