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Raising Indian kids in the USA

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by knowmore, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Kristen,
    :rotfl. I read your post a few times to make sure I understood what you were asking.

    Bringing up Indian kids in any western countries has always been a topic of discussion. Just to be fair to both sides, I guess there would be concerns every parent would face if they had to bring up their kids in a culture totally different from their own. The reason is simple. Many parents move abroad, but their minds and hearts are stuck in the India they leave behind. Years roll by, they have kids, they have their own ideas of how they want their kids to grow (generally based on how they were brought up when they were kids) little realizing that things have changed quite drastically in India as well.

    Having said which, I fail to understand why people would want to settle down in another country and then not allow their children to be totally integrated - basically for better or for worse, with warts and all. Obviously one is living there because one finds some aspects of living there better. If one is forced to live there for a short tenure, then one can always return home before it is too late to inculcate the home culture into the kids. But I don't think anyone could be forced to live abroad permanently. That is a personal choice they have made. It is one thing to try and familiarize the kids with the culture of the country of origin by taking them back for holidays and allowing them to savour life as it is in that country for short periods of time. But expecting them to keep away from the culture of the country where they are born and residing seems very unfair on the kids. They would end up being totally confused, not to mention being total misfits.

    Good question. Am wondering too. Can only guess and then your guess is as good as mine. Probably she means any kind of racial discrimination (if parents alienate their kids from the social norms and cultures of the county of residence, it is only going to be a bigger problem). That is the only problem I can think of. The problems that an older generation of Indian parents would have been concerned about - drugs, sexual freedom, ..... is just as much of a problem in India these days. Like someone has mentioned above, it is transparent in the west, here it is still a relatively hush hush thing. Living is no longer unheard of. In fact there are laws to protect women in such relationships from violence just the same as there are for women in marital relationships. If anyone believes that all young men and women of marriageable age are still virgins ..... well, I shall not comment on that one.

    I would go as far as to say that kids have a much tougher existence in this country, given the tough competition they face when it comes to getting a place in a nursery school, the kind of dangers lurking around every corner, lack of sufficient open places to play in, the corruption they grow up thinking is a part of normal life (I can't blame the parents. If they teach them values of honesty, straight-forwardness etc. the child will have a tough time surviving and would hate itself when it has to succumb to the realities of life outside the home). Bringing up kids in this country is no cake walk either. Differently abled kids hardly have the facilities they get in the western world. Obviously what they can achieve would not be in keeping with their individual capabilities. So the realities of growing up in this country are no less harsh.
     
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  2. bong

    bong Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello Bazique,

    You have no idea what relief you have brought to my worried soul... Thanks a ton...
    Also it makes me :-D to see at least one Bengali out here....
     
  3. IndiangirlinUSA

    IndiangirlinUSA New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I'm not sure if you are still in the U.S., but if you are, then you have nothing to worry about. My parents are both from India, and I am happy to tell you that they raised me with the best of both worlds. Of course most of my upbringing was geared more towards the Hindu and Indian aspect of my life, but I learned Hindi, I went to India every year to see my Nani and Nana, I respect my culture, I respect my values and I love being Indian. I grew up in California in the 70's and there was a lot of ingnorance. Now it is wonderful to be Indian. There's so much appreciation and opportunities to maintain your culture that it is amazing.
     
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  4. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Very well said!
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    old thread but excellent and matured reply.I could not leave without appreciating you:)
     
  6. rshah

    rshah New IL'ite

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    It is very common questions among young parents, But As a grand father of four grand children and living in US since last 45+ years, I feel you can raise good children in US as well as in India. I go to India every year and I see mediocre, brat children and also very bright children. I am involve with local Bal Vihar program and I see lot of bright children here. But at the same time, I see concerned parent behind every bright child. So emphasis is concerned parent. If you care for your child, you give lot of attention toward your child education and extra circulative activities, your child will do better almost anywhere. The reason I said almost anywhere because somebody still have to prove me that Indian kids in England are also doing good.
     

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