Raising Indian kids in the USA

I seriously do not understand. What difference does it make where the child is raised? If you instill in him/her your beliefs from day one, you should not have a problem. If you only "wake up" and realize what's going on when the child is a teenager and you suddenly nag him/her about dates, and "american" stuff then you will have a problem on your hands. Don't expect them to change when they suddenly hit 18! And please do not bad mouth india or america. both countries have good and bad aspects.

many of my aunts and uncles always bad mouthed india when we were young and so of course my cousins hated even visiting india. but once when their kids started highschool or were old enough to get married, the parents wished and begged them to go back to india to find a spouse. how ridiculous is that??!!

teach your child to appreciate the best of both worlds.

 

I agree. This is something I always tell people who start bashing either of the 2 countries.

Things have changed there a lot, even in the last 9-10 years I've been here. Every kid I know there is on Facebook, with or without their parents' supervision.

Someone brought up the part that Indians who grew up in India are not so aware of all the things going on, unlike parents grew up here. That's true, to a large extent. I only say educate yourself. Talk to neighbors. Fellow moms from school. A month ago, I got a call from a neighborhood mom (American), whose kid is in the 4th grade and is being teased in the bus. She called to talk about something else and ended up talking about this. I've met her just once in some gathering and that's all I know. My son takes the same bus, but sits in the front because he's in the 1st grade. Now I know what kind of teasing can be there at elementary school level and what steps need to be taken, because I learned that from someone else's experience. People talk and people can be very friendly, especially if you give them a sympathetic ear.

I moved here 9-10 years ago, after an arranged marriage. Do I worry about my kids' future? Yes, I do. I think that's an integral part of being a parent, at least, for most people and so is the fear of unknown. But, I don't think this country and its culture is the big monster it's made out to be.

 

I completly agree with manaswini's response.

I would just say this..

Grow up with your kids..Trust them and let them trust you.

Shilpa.

 

Sunitha,

Thanks for not taking my question in the wrong sense. Well most of your points about wanting to be back where we grew up.... it's the feeling almost all NRIs go through. and especially as parents the anxiety is more. right now as I type i think that every culture, country has its own merits and demerits. but when we are in our own country... i mean the place where we were born, grew up and have family (who can be of more trouble... that's an entirely different subject!) we tend to have some sort of confidence in overcoming those demerits. on the other hand, when i visit India every year i am amazed at these new developments, what power money has i cannot also deny the disappointment that our family structure is also becoming 'centered'... i'm sorry i'm unable to explain exactly. may be that's what generation gap is all about....

Latha

 

Hi Latha,

This is not off-topic.

The educational and healthcare system here affects everybody and their children. The foreign policy also affects our kids because these wars are waged using borrowed money that will be repaid by taxing our childrens generation.

There are people with chronic health problems that cannot get treatment because of lack of health coverage. It costs 150 Rs to get an EKG in my parents city in India. In my town in US , unless a doctor prescribes a test the person cannot get the test. The system is rigged even for basic health care.

This country has 10% unemployment currently. There are world class universities in this countries however they are extraordinarily expensive unless one is a genius. All this affects the experience our kids will have.

Almost all manufacturing jobs have been outsourced. A lot of people question what kind of opportunities will exist here in the future given the rise of China and India. This affects ours kids futures.

I am not sure that a lot of people have thought of these points. I wanted to bring extra points to this discussion beyond the usual reasons sex, drugs and alcohol.

 

For me its not a India vs US thing or a judgment on one society. Having such an attitude would make one a fundamentalist. I have a comfort zone and certain things about my experiences here just don't gel with me.
I came here for professional reasons with an open mind of being integrated into this society. But I don't see myself raising kids here due my bias, upbringing, values etc.
I can see why returning to India can be a difficult decision:-
a. having spent 5+ years - it can be emotional leaving behind friends, the city, the change of seasons, the vibrance of New York City, the museums, the beer, the food, the snow and all the outdoor activities you enjoyed pursuing
b. unsure of the career prospects back home. But the flip side is you can start pretty much anything you want --- so that's a moot point.
c. the politics of dealing with gossiping relatives - BIG Headache.
d. a fear of this being an illusion of "the grass being greener on the other side".
e. Your partner's views about this issue

Fortunately I don't have kids and i'm sure that will add another dimension to this problem. Right now my partner is in school and will graduate in a year. I'd like her to experience professional life her and before we have kids --- if we reach a consensus , we'd pack our bags and leave.

"SO long and thanks for all the Fish":bonk

 

@BeeAmma

I think a lot of issues have been sensationalized by 24 hrs news channels and re-election concerns. The US had way more debt as a percentage of GDP after WW2 and we were able to draw that down till Bush decided to spend like a drunken sailor. As long as the US does a good PR job about advertising the "American Dream", we will have immigrants flocking here, innovating and growing this economy.

 

I see your point and I hope that you are right. Hey I have started a thread on this topic http://www.indusladies.com/forums/g...62-where-is-us-economy-going.html#post1076696.

 

Beeamma, I have tried accessing the link but this is the message I get.
I don't know how to proceed to the link from here.

No Thread specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator

 

Tara my mistake. I think I posted the wrong link. Here is the one that works

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/g...d-canada/86763-where-is-us-economy-going.html