Raising Indian kids in the USA

Ok, I get your point of view. But you know, life in America has changed a lot in the past few years. Since I grew up here, I can clearly see the difference between being raised myself and raising my own children. For example there are a lot more avenues for information for kids these days. Although there are both negatives and positives to all things. Another, when I was growing up, boyfriends and girlfriends existed only in highschool. Nowadays, I hear mothers talking about their kids going on dates - and those kids are still in grammar school. Lives are extra busy these days and parents have to resort to daycare, afterschool activities/care, playdates and such to make sure their children are in a protected environment. When I was growing up, at least one parent was always home and daycare was not even thought of. I am sure there are different stories for each member.

But, since we were raised in America, we are more familiar with the lifestyles here and are more open to the conversations children will bring up. I agree with you there. But nevertheless, raising children in this day and age is a lot different than it was when I was a kid.

So, I guess what I am saying is that no matter what your background/upbringing might be....raising children is a tremendous responsibility. Open up your heart, open up your mind and more than anything be open to the ideas your children will bring up. As long as you instill the right lessons in their lives, you are building strong, courageous leaders of the future.

All the best to all parents out there.:thumbsup

 

Hi Ladies,
I think here the circumustances and many factors play a major role to decide whether India is better or US. I do agree with most of the american parents here to raise kids in US.
Here I would like to quote an example of my friend's son who says "I would go to foster parents who can take care of me ?" since the parents are in US just 3yrs back and they cannot give everything like his peer parents,like a cell phone ,expensive games , I -phone and what not at the age of 12.Almost everyday abuses mother who is not working ,by saying "can u afford a game etc"? However I agree that the school's environment and that at home will have a major impa ct.
No wonder to say that kids who are raised here get more priveliges. Hopefully there would a change in the Indian society too.If everybody thinks to be the same and be in US ,do you think India will change?I hope not.Well may be Iam no where here to talk without knowing more facts.
Thanks for the discussion and new thread,useful to many.

 

Hello all ....I am 31 ,and intrested to do live in nanny job if any one intrested pls if any one intrested I have 6 year old little girl I can bring her if u dont want I can keep with my husband .....I can move any were in US.

 

We all have an idea of what a model parent is and what childhood should be like. Most of the time this opinions is based on our experience growing up in India. Thus I feel the biggest advantage of raising kids in India is that we can create an atmosphere which seems natural to us(from our childhood experiences) and in this way be able to relate to our children better. I feel this is the BIGGEST and most IMPORTANT Advantage - we will be able to relate to them better. Nonetheless we'll encounter difference due to the generation gap just like we did with our parents. Raising kids in India will also prevent us from unfairly raising barriers that seem misplaced in a foreign society. I don't know what your members mean by Indian culture -- but I do know how I've been brought up and I want to create a similar atmosphere for my kids. I would also say that this partiality is due to the fear in the unknown. I find the other arguments such as drugs, dating , sex etc as baseless since I myself have experienced this in India and ITS NO BIG DEAL.



Some other reasons I don’t want to raise my kids here :
1. The outward looking materialistic/consumeristic nature of life here.
2. The tendency of Americans to perennially market themselves - the “I/me/myself” talk - beginning right from childhood. Also taking the concpet of "you are an individual" to the extreme.
3. The fixation with outward appearance.( and women in this thread talk about gender equality)
4. The organized play time kids have here. I don’t see kids playing on the streets - its all community and private hockey, soccer leagues.
5. The world-less view of the education and the thought that the world is their inheritance.
6. The unstructured nature of education - u do what u like and everybody wins.
7. Formation of groups based on race/nationality thus making immigrant children feel they are different/inferior.
Will update when i think of more

 

Asthma:

I could not agree more with you!! :cheers

Thanks for speaking my mind out.

Sunitha

 

I am not sure where America is going in general. I am not sure that the best opportunities are going to exist in the US a few decades down the lane.

Multi-trillion dollar deficits. Foreign policy driven by corporations. Currency rigging. High cost of healthcare and education. Genetically modified foods.

 

@above --- that is why i'm learning Chinese for job security :rotfl

But seriously, people here don't think twice about going to war and killing innocent lives but are prepared to have a year long debate to pass health care legislation when millions of Americans are dying or going bankrupt bcos of health care. To top it off everything here has to be insured.

Hows this for a plan - "outlaw" lawyers, then we don't need any insurance(cos no law suits), and then health care cost will come down, doctors will not be paid that much, cost of education will come down, medicine will not be so lucrative and then we can weed out the guys who take up medicine for the money.

I recently and the misfortune of using the ambulance service. I fainted on the road after a long run and somebody called 911. I was driven 2 miles to the emergency and was slapped with a bill for $1450 just for the ride!!! R u kidding me - I could and flown to India in that amount.(8210 miles)

I guess the world order(i hope) will tend to an equilibrium where more countries will have a say in how the world should work. I'm tired of Americans feeling that liberty and democracy is the ONLY way people can be happy.

ps - i may sound like a ranting talk show RJ ....but i'm a nice person really.

 

this is completely off-topic and please don't take me to be offensive, rude or anything of that sort....

I have heard couple of friends, living in the US, with kids, echo the same feelings as asthma, sunitha and beeamma. but they still continue to live there (now almost a decade). i cannot understand why? i'm not judging, questioning someone's decisions but when the system is 'faulty' why do you live in the US... i'd really like to know

Latha

 

Latha, I'm with you, and eagerly waiting replies to your question.

I live in the US and I love it here. It's unfortunate that people seem so unhappy with their quality of lives and still have to put up with all that's bothering them. Personally (and I'm not prescribing this to anyone else, it's just the way I feel), I'd move to another country in a heartbeat if I was dissatisfied. I've done it twice before, at great cost and with great sacrifice. So, I understand it's not an easy decision to make, but it can't be harder than living with serious insecurities and unhappiness.

As an aside, and addressing the question posed by this thread, I am not worried about raising my daughter in this country. I don't really think of it as raising an "Indian" kid in the US - I hope there are fundamental values of goodness and decency that spread across all cultures in terms of child-rearing, and I am confident I can impart those values to my child, even here in the big, bad, ol' US

 

Traveller,

There can be N number of reasons why someone lives in US though they do not like it here. As for me, it is not that I hate living here but I would prefer my life in India. But only my preference does not matter.....right? My dh job is here. Yeah, we could move the job back but in his field it is hard to find back in India. He sees growth in his career in his field here, so not willing to change fields.
I prefer India.....the reason is quite natural. I grew up there, we have parents back there, my siblings are there.....so I have family bondage to that place. Yeah, I understand my family ie., dh and kids are my family first and so that is exactly why I am here even though I long to go back.

It is not that I fear bringing up kids here. NO! Not at all. It is only that I want to give them whatever I had back there....like the memorable moments with extended family during any festivals which we miss here.
I feel Grandparents miss Grandkids even though they have come here twice.
Also, I think for most immigrants like us it is the fear of the unknown too that makes them long to move back.
But why do they not leave this place.........main reason is JOB/MONEY, next once you get used to the comfortable lifestyle here it is difficult to let go.
Then for some, kids might have attained an age where they do not want to go back because they might be in their teens and all set into education system here.

So, as you see each family may have their own set of reasons. Just because they live here not all like it here. But again the solution to that is also not as easy as leaving this place and going back.
Lot of equations come into play.