Raining Freebees

If it is polls freebees must rain, at least in Tam il Nadu. Take the R.K.Nagar asdsenbly poll in TN, one candidate who is contesting under the pressure cooker symbol has reportedly offered pressure cooker for votes, leaving those who are contesting under the flowe and leaves symbol high and dry. For they have nothing to offer but flowers, leaves and few thousand bucks per vote.


If the voters expect a pressure cooker from a guy with pressure cooker symbol, where will their demands end? As I was thinking this, there was a loud knock on my door, a totally dishevelled and sweating guy rushed in panting.


“Couldn’t you have rung the bell instead of knocking o n the door?” I asked him “And by the way, do I know you?”


“Don’t you remember me?” he said looking pathetically “ I am one of the candidates here. I came two days ago, asking for your vote. Sorry I didn’t remember the bell in my panicky state. Do you mind bolting the door”?


“What is the matter? Are the cops after you for distributing money to the voters?”


“Nope. It is een worse. The voters are after me.”


“What for? Now don’t tell me that you have topped their popularity charts and they are coming after you to adore you”


“Nothing of that sort, They want freebees”

“Aw come on. What kind of candidate are you if you can’t throw a few thousand bucks at each voter?”


“You didn’t get me right. They don’t want money. They want freebees. They say the candidate with pressure cooker symbol is giving thrm pressure cookers. So thEy want my symbol as freebees.”


“So go ahead and give it. Obviously you have something concrete as symbol. So go ahead and give it and garner votes”


You don’t understand “ he said. “My symbol is a cr. Do you expect me to buy every voter a car. I’l be Neck deep in debt”


“In that case don’t give them the car. Just ask them to buy their own cars and promise to pay the EMI of each voter on being elected as MLA”.


“But I can’t afford to pay all their EMIs” he said piteously.


“ You seem to be a real amateur in politics.” I said.” “No truie blooded politician fulfils his /her promise to the voters. In politics it is very bad form to keep your word. Of late there have been promises ranging from Rs 15 lakh in every Indian’s account within 100 days of coming to power to development. Have these promises been kept”?


The neta wannabe fell at my feet. “You are my real political guru. I’ll never forget you after getting elected”. Another candidate’s promise to be broken, I thought.


As he was leaving, my wife rushed in. “Help!” She screamed. “The BSP candidate is standing outside”


“What is rong with it?” IU asked when I heard a loud trumpeting sound.


“He is offering a freebee . His party symbol. He is standing there with an elephant. “. I heard a loud crash as the pachyderm marched in breaking through my front wall.


`”T-rex? What do you mean by ‘Thank God T-rex is not an election symbol? ‘ . T-rex has been extinct for millions of years and no one has thought of it as an election symbol” the wife said shaking me awake.

 

The (M)asses are either incorrigible optimists are cynics, Either they vote every time hoping against hope that at least this time the winner would work for them or believing that they might as well collect the freebies considering no one is going to do anything for them.

 

Hope you didn't spill the coffee on your dress. Viswa says youy might have gone to work that way Kamala.

 

Viswa those withe rising sun symbol can only promise the moon to the voters. It will be more practical on the part of those with the elephant symbol to promise the voterds that they won't give their party symbol as a freebee if they vote for them. Do you really have to cook for an elephant? Then I think I have to consult some zoo official on how to tickle the pachyderm's taste buds.