Hello, I'm sorry about posting this question in this forum as it doesn't have anything to do with my spouse (as I'm not yet married) but my boyfriend. However we have talked about marriage so I guess it does have to do with marriage a little bit . I hope you guys can give me advice about my boyfriend even though we're not married yet. I feel like I have noone to talk to- I'm worried if I ask my family and friends for advice that their perception of him will be negatively influenced. I am an Indian girl living in Canada who has been dating a Canadian white boy for some time. We are both pretty serious about one another, our parents are okay and encouraging about us dating, and for the most part he has been a very supportive and respectful partner. There's one thing though that worries me and that's the cultural differences we share. Sometimes I get worried that he won't be able to adjust to the Indian aspects of my life. For example, early on in my relationship he jokingly called me a racial slur that is extremely offensive in this part of the world, and derogatory to Indians (sand nig*er). He had seen Indian people in a movie call each other that and thought I'd think it would be funny to be called it. I was very hurt and appalled, and said to him quite politely that I found terms that were derogatory to Indians extremely hurtful and offensive and asked him to refrain from using such language in my presence. I assumed that was the last time we would have this discussion, but not too long after that he used the term "paki" in front of me (which is very offensive in Canada when used by non-Indians). We ended up having a big argument- when I got angry with him for not respecting my wishes he became angry that I was angry but eventually he apologized for being offensive and I again assumed that that was the last time I'd have to address the issue. Well just yesterday he used the term "paki" again and when I became angry he said I had no reason to see it as an offensive term as it was merely a short form for "Pakistani", and that even if it was offensive it shouldn't be as brown people use that word to describe themselves. When I reminded him that I'd asked him not to use that word he said he didn't mean it in an offensive manner, and had gone his whole life not knowing it was a bad word and that I should realize that, as well as apologizing again. Anyway this whole issue has been bothering me for days and now I'm wondering if he really does mean well but if I'm better off being with someone a little more sensitive to the racism people of our culture experience. He's great in every other way but for some reason this really really bothers me. Am I overreacting?