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Quid Pro Quo With The Gods

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, May 20, 2017.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Iravati
    If I were a nail, I would have cried oops You hit it so precisely on its head. More than a decade back, when I started rambling in IL, I was almost puerile. When I read some of my decade old snippets, I wince in pain. Over a period of time, my dialogues with my readers warned me to grow up. 'If you want to sustain your reputation as a rambler, you better grow up', it warned me. I started browsing a lot. I read the back covers of more books than I ever did all my life. The funny thing is that more I grew in my virtual status, the more ordinary I became in my real life. The difference between the real and virtual cheeniya amazes me. I console myself saying that it is after all my virtual image, not somebody else's. All is well, I tell myself and resume my single finger typing!
     
  2. Iravati

    Iravati Platinum IL'ite

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    I wince in pain even when I look back at what I had written a year ago. How juvenile! How pulpy! When I started in IL, and long after that also I was a boor. Yes, that's the right way to put it. My transformation had only begun recently with Gauri's "Fire up neurons" acting as the catalyst. That exposed my complacency, my utter ignorance and arrogance as a benighted soul. I was mentally impoverished. I was intellectually feeble.

    Same here, unless you are humouring me, my trajectory is no different. I began to "study", yes, like a school girl after than neurons stint. The shakeup I had on realising my abject mental deficiency had cascading effects, which though originated in a virtual sport, had profound implication in real life. I didn't know who Borges was ..I didn't know who Conway was ..I didn't know who Julian Jaynes was ..I didn't know who William Hamilton was ...I didn't know JBS Haldane ..I didn't know any Russian composers or German artists or French animators or Mexican just-so-stories. My survival was a mystery. Borges' reference is very elementary now! Back then, it was the formidable pyramid of literary class. When it comes to fabulists and fantasists, it is customary to evoke Borges. But then there are also Calvino, Lorca, Pessoa, de Assis, so forth. There is unmistakable interconnectedness in these wide narratives in whose exploration my life unfurled into something that barely resembles my former self.

    I reached one conclusion which had already been captured by Ludwig Wittgenstein as “How small a thought it takes to fill a life.” How small? A hobby, a passion, an idea, a prick, a stimulus or a tiny outgrowth from a puzzle solving technique to fill a life with a meaningful pursuit. I have a long way to go, however, I know that I am travelling in the right direction. Yesterday, I was listening to this Ode To A Flower by Richard Feynman and grasped what he was asking people to do. Y'know, the Ira from three years ago could not care less about a flower, talk about ways to explore a flower.

    These [your] ramblings are very dear to me because who knows, how and when from the cacophonous belches sparks a beautiful chase that reshapes everything.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2017
  3. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Iravati
    I am pretty scared of Gauri and Soka! Don't ask me why. Certain scares just grow like weeds. I know I deny myself the chance to educate and elevate myself by not participating in their discussions but I am so used to the comfort of home! I read the weather forecast even before I go to market to buy vegetables!
    That's my problem. I have travelled for 75 years without knowing if this is the road that will take me to my destination. At this stage, even if some one tells me I am on the wrong road, it will be difficult for me to shift from a known road even if it was a wrong road! Life is like that. It is easy not only to change over to the right road but change our the phase too when young but most of us miss the opportunity then!
    What a fascinating talk and the fabulous visuals!
     
  4. Iravati

    Iravati Platinum IL'ite

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    Hmm, I see what you are saying. But when we are young, we are lured by roads that are glittery and wide. We want to be part of something bigger than we are and conform to a larger social consciousness. We follow suit of the conventional mores. We avoid all roads that don't lead to the Colosseum. We seldom take the byroads. Today, I plot my course only in byroads because it is easier to jump roads when you spot a foul turn. Travelling on a 4-lane expressway no longer gives me the adrenalin rush it used to give back in my youngish days. True, wrong or right road, it is difficult to change lanes now, however, I prefer travelling along a narrow road today. Less baggage and less interruptions and less crowd.

    Also, I thought I had travelled on a road for 20 years, and then realised that I didn't travel at all. This is perhaps what Red Queen meant when she told Alice in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass: "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place". It took me all the walking to just stand still. The next ten years were about perpetrating a move.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2017
  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Iravati 2
    I have undertaken a pilgrimage to Badrinath and Ketharnath twice in my life. As you climb up the steep mountain, you get a feeling that you are going to be finally in the wilderness away from all the noise and pandemonium. I realise why the Himalayas fascinate the people. I had even a greater feeling of loneliness and peace when I visited the Flower Valley. The variety of flowers there astonished me. I realise that what I know of the world is totally insignificant compared to what I am yet to know. With a 99% knowledge gap, I think I own the world! The guy who says that the woods are lovely, dark and deep but he has miles to go before he sleeps sure makes a lot of sense to me.
    That's the essence of life and lucky are those who realise it quite early in their life. Sitting on a cosy chair and lamenting that I have so many places to explore is really tragic indeed!
     
  6. Iravati

    Iravati Platinum IL'ite

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    This is how I visualize myself in the coming decade. Sadly, I am not a nature and mud person. I prefer my creature comforts. A clapboard farm house, large kitchen with a garden [small one, big one will attract flies and insects], high-speed internet connection to bang and respond to your posts in a fraction of a second [will have all the time for senile banter], in a commune of 3-4 people. I cannot keep up with the crowd. Prefer less but intense interactions. Generally, I need so much time for myself. Not much of a social butterfly. Not even close to a social mosquito which buzzes! I like 2-3 close-knit associations.

    At 6 pm, we, the residents of the commune would gather for worldly conversations. No politics! No sports! No high brow stuff! More like ..did you read that article on Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian. How fairy tale-ish! Yo! That kind of gossip-y chat-up.

    You may inquire, is that farm house close to Himalayas in Tibet. I am thinking that you mentioned the serenity of the Flower Valley. Steady water supply and temperate weather are a must. I cannot wake up in the morning and fill buckets.

    No ashram or the like. I prefer luxury and comfort. A farm house like a spa with hot baths and herbal smell. Not too ascetic, I need my fluffy pillows and printed coverlets. Not too concrete, I like the woody clack. I need so much money to build my farmhouse now. I should perhaps try a lottery to actualize these dreams.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2017
  7. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Iravati
    You sound almost like Omar Khayyam.
    A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
    A Jug of Wine, A Loaf of Bread—and Thou
    Beside me singing in the Wilderness—
    Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!

    Of course that 'thou beside me singing in the wilderness' is purely optional! But jokes apart, I do get your point.
    May your dream come true!
     
  8. Iravati

    Iravati Platinum IL'ite

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    You get me, such a relief! Because I incur loss of breath when I convey these feelings to people who don't know me. A typical conversation ....

    "I want to join a monastery and have a life of unconcern"
    "Yes, you must go there for peace of mind and ..."
    "Wait, not for peace of mind but gain of time, no taxes, no hassles, no rush hour"
    "Yes, that also and you will love the morning sun and chirping birds and swaying asters"
    "Wait, wait, who is talking about sun and birds. I prefer watching them only on documentaries. I am allergic to sun and find the birds a nuisance. I would love to walk underground in the catacombs of the monastery and read the inscriptions on the interments"
    "I get it, chant spirituals for the deceased and become one with the Lord"
    "Hold your thought there. Though I love singing Poe's bells as carols, that's my spiritual in one stroke"
    "I get it so you don't wish to explore nature, recite prayers or feed the birds, so, you want to involve in charity"
    "Let me finish. I want a room with a view [view of a nice glassy bathroom] and a wardrobe and an internet connection and few pairs of shorts and tees. Eat, read, dance and then maybe indulge in lively debates once a while. What charity? I don't intend to help anyone. I intend to reform and help myself first."
    "Why a monastery?"
    "Fascination with Gothic roofs!"
    "OK, I see, I think I get you now, so, you don't wish to explore nature, recite prayers, feed the birds, no philanthropy. You wish to adopt a baby and bring him/her up in a monastery and attain self-realization"

    This is where I change the topic not knowing if they are talking about a human baby or a chimp's baby. I am wary of adopting even a goldfish and here they think I seek a baby. I don't know why people struggle to get this image right: a monastery on the hilltop ..rich food ...large room in the loft ... ensuite bathroom ... shorts and tees ... laundry facility .. small garden to grow peas like Mendel ...iPad ... access to digital library ... subscription to comics ...2-3 clubby monks for chit-chat and maybe if time permits solve a murder mystery in the monastery inspired by William of Baskerville. That's about it. I don't know why people confuse this vision with spiritualism, naturism, adoption and other humdrum. This is my Paradise enow! (I know that you get it)
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2017
  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Iravati
    I got it not now but long back when you started interacting with me! Others might think that looking for that kind of ambience in a monastery is rather odd but I see your point. Looking for a Five Star ambiance in a Monastery may farfetched for others but not for you. You seem to be very clear about what you want but if others don't get it, it is quite understandable.
    But let me tell you that the way you describe a monastery, all the Five Star hotels in the neighbourhood would run short of business!
     
  10. Iravati

    Iravati Platinum IL'ite

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    I am often baffled why I get along with men quite well, again, men who are playful, funny and jovial but with women I have all kinds of problems. I have only 2-3 female friends who are again very unconventional in their lifestyles like Germaine de Staël. Should I go for female friends, I have to choose between a gypsy or that maid of Orleans who used to hear voices and talk to herself. But with men I am always reassured, "I discerned the type of woman you are with the first conversation. You are someone who likes your space and dreams and sarcasm and scepticism alike". Women find it difficult to relate with this undersigned character. Men on the contrary are amused to connect with this doolally woman who shrieks on discovering Mr Tobermory. You remind me of a friend back from college days. I would bark like a rabid mutt, and inquire, "Do you get me?" to which he smiles reassuringly, "I totally get you". Till date I don't know if he truly got me or faked so that I buy him a samosa.

    Sshh.. the exterior is a monastery to evade any premium taxation. However, I like that solitude of a monastery. Even with 2-3 monks they thrive and form intense connects. They don't rely on other monks for emotional support, infact monks hardly have any mental tussles. They have outgrown the human condition. They hardly understand human suffering or what weighs down people so much. They offer no guidance nor do they seek one. They just explore and tickle themselves with aha moments of ... today Saki ... tomorrow Rumi ... and the day after Kafka. They cannot explain their euphoria because they just cannot explain what it is to have a whirly mind with curiosity and mischief. My mom lovingly chides, "You are a monk these days, you will put to shame those déshabillé sanyasis who are still chasing inner peace. You are in some world these days". I laugh and tell her, a world where I found peace with clothes on.
     

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