Que Sera, Sera

Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be. A simple message but how hard it is to accept the life as it comes. Beauty, health and wealth are all transient only for a certain period and when the time comes, the body is put into flames or buried, health deteriorates when the body decays and the possessions that one had passionately pursued and systematically saved passes on to someone else in a split second.

I was reading a story in Facebook. Yama Dharma was walking into Vaikunda to see Maha Vishnu and Garuda was watching him enter. He noticed that Yama Dharma was intensely looking at a parrot with a grin. Garuda thought it is unfortunate that Yama’s sight was focused on this little parrot. It took a flight to take the parrot seven seas and seven mountains away to leave it in a hole in the banyan tree safely. While leaving Yama Dharma was smiling at Garuda and when Garuda question Yama Dharma, he replied, “I was wondering about this parrot spending time here when it is supposed to die by the bite of a King Cobra seven seas and seven mountains away. Now I knew how that would happen.”

There are umpteen number of examples when we study the epics of Ramayana and Mahabharatha. Ravana thought the probability of him dying in the hands of a human being is nil and decided to cover all other celestial beings except a human being. He finally died in the hands of Lord Rama. Similarly, Thiridarashtra thought no one can bring his Kingdom down as long as unbeatable Bishmacharya is protecting his kingdom. Similarly Duryodhana asked for the army of Lord Krishna as he believed that would give him more military power than having Lord Krishna on his side. All these life stories in the epics prove to us that the pride plays a big role in bringing people down.

I spent considerable amount of time reading Ramayana and Mahaharatha at a very young age and in addition, I never failed to listen to Pravachanam by Anandarama Deekshidar, Krupananda Variyar, Pulavar Keeran and many others as there was no internet learning those days. Yet, pride got the most of me, be it when I finished my CA in 1977, when unsolicited interview calls came from Bank of America, Bank Nationale De Paris, Union Carbide, Delhi Cloth Mills, etc., when I got offers from the Gulf countries, when I maintained great health by jogging for 3-4 miles every day in what is now called East Coast Road, when I grew up at an accelerated pace in the software industry as a corporate executive after open market economy was embraced by the Indian economy in 1991, when I migrated to the United States on promotion to take greater roles, when I was able to get exposed to making an initial public offering in NASDAQ and when I traveled around the world to acquire companies and now when I am a partner of an Investment Banking firm interacting with number of companies to help them grow inorganically.

I have been humbled many times during this period of growth by many life-changing events which I hesitate to list here as it is too personal. Despite all that humbling experiences, pride not only survived through the troubling period but also played a prominent role. I have studied the life of many learned seers and they all led a simple life with absolutely zero pride. Is that because they have taken Sanyasam and renounced the desires and attachments? Can Grahastha fulfilling his duties in his role as Grahastha get rid of pride?

I understood that my pride comes from my emotions that I am the doer of all my actions. Even when I try to relinquish the fruits of my actions by providing selfless service, the pride still remains with me. Initially, I misunderstood the pride as self-confidence and later I figured out that they are different from each other. Suddenly, When I was overwhelmed with something that was happening in my life, one of my cousin sang this song Que Sera, Sera and like a flash it occurred to me that the only way I can get rid of my pride is to accept the life as it comes with no emotions. Whatever will be, will be.

[FONT=&quot]When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, "What will I be?
Will I be pretty, will I be rich?"
Here's what she said to me[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be"
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]When I grew up, and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart, "What lies ahead?
Will we have rainbows, day after day?"
Here's what my sweetheart said[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be"[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
Now I have children of my own
They ask their father, "What will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich?"
I tell them tenderly[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be"[/FONT]

 

Dear Satchi,

You are right. Our actions are not predetermined but results are. One has to make the best possible effort and leave the results to be whatever it will be. Even using the tool of free will by itself is incorrect without using the tool of discrimination. When discrimination is applied on our free will, we begin to do the right thing. We have to remember that in forgetful state, we are not aware of our past actions and consequences. That is a gift because the human beings would never do actions, if they know the results in advance.

Thank you for your first and invaluable response.

Viswa

 

@VanithaSudhir,

Thank you for your response. Pride perhaps overwhelm us packaged as self-confidence. Doership is the main cause for our pride. Only when we experience that we don't control the results of our actions, our pride takes a beating. Even when we say, "I will fix it", sense of pride is dominant.

"You be the change that you want to see in the world". Mahatma Gandhi's words are reverberating in my ears always. I have to do actions to the best of my ability and whatever will be, will be. I can change myself to accept it gracefully.

Viswa

 

@kaniths,

Let God bless you with a lot of happiness. You know when to talk off and fly and when to land already. You belong to a smarter generation that learns from others' experience and not wait until you have a life changing experience yourself. Let you be blessed not to have any such humbling experiences as you are willing to surrender to the fact that whatever will be, will be.

Viswa

 

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

Very well articulated response. Stress can never be a stimulant and accepting the reality is. One can never give up actions nor get stressed beyond manageable level. Stress is inevitable as human mind is trained to look for acting to derive solutions than performing the actions applying discrimination. In business, people use to call that process quality, service quality and product quality. How we stake up the processes and with what commitment that work is done results in final product quality. We should not focus on the end result and compromise on the first two.

I remember a joke in the company that I worked before. We were all trained to manage crisis in the business without any stress. At some point executives started joking that we have become such an expert in crisis management so that everyone converts an ordinary situation into crisis so that it could be managed better.

There is nothing wrong in putting our best foot forward but that has to be done with the mindset of self confidence and not pride and to deliver best quality and not result.

Viswa