Pz help-i need ur guidance?

tanu khurana · Dec 12, 2009

mINE IS A LOVE MARRIAGE..its around 4 yrs of nw having a baby boy 10mnths old....v had a good time during our affair..mine is a inter religion marrg.. i parents dnt agree first thn later on its ok....after marg..i got many issues with my inlaws and my husband start saying in my MIL favour which he do till now..
I AM FEELING QUITE SHY TO SHARE MY PROBLEM.........AFTER FEW MNTHS OF OUR MARRIAGE V STARD RARELY HAVING ANY SEX........he stard avoiding me and if i ask him y he said coz my behaviour changs aftr marg he dnt like to hav... i thought slowly things vill change and i vill hav gud going but it didnt... thn a year of pregnancy and now aftr delivery ihad sex only once in these 10 mnths and if i ask him he said he has other things to worry and resolve.................. i knw he dnt hav GF, he has his buisness comes bk at 3pm thn busy with his laptop and internet whole day v dnt talk too much coz it leads fight, fight and fight no solutions... as othrs iam mre gud lookn thn hubby hav a good job nw at hom since a year......i dnt knw yaar but iam toooooooooooo confused with my lif...................... if iask him to go out 2gther he said he dnt lik to go out just lov to b at hom............he very rarely go out with friends...............we liv with inlaws and he bears household expenses but doesnt giv us money to do shopig and all nw evn v stop going out on my bdays and annv........but he brought plenty of gfts for my inlaws on their annivrsy and i got frustad i smtim use to complain him thn leads to fight.... I BASICALLY FEELS TOO NEGLECTD IN MY LIF CNT SHARE WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS COZ I CHOOSE HIM............I HAD ALL BASIC AMENTIES IN MY LIF BUT NO LUXRIES as i can say.........
what to do? how to convince him?how to get bk sexual lif?

indyudoy · Dec 12, 2009

Hi Tanu,

To begin with, “LOVE IS BLIND AND MARRIAGE IS EYE-OPENER”.

I have only questions for you after reading your post! You have highlighted your sexual problem vastly in your post. Primarily, are you looking out for the suggestions for the sexual problems? Is sex everything for you, right at this juncture of your life? I agree sex is a part of marital life which strengthens the bonding. You said your husband had found many changes in you after marriage. Did you ask him what sort of changes he observed in you? Is he neglecting you completely? Why did he stop going out with you? How was his behavior with you during your affair days? What sort of changes you are observing in him after marriage? Is he attached to the baby? Is he spending time with baby?

Practically, men and women do get change after marriage due to the increase in responsibilities and due to the change in circumstances. It is insensible to compare both these segments of life (love affair days and marital days). Meanwhile, probably other ILites would be able to give you suggestions.

Cheers

Indy

ShilpaMa · Dec 14, 2009

From a few self-learnings I can contribute that childbirth introduces few changes into the routine life which most of the guys today find it hard to adjust & few keep waiting for older days to return:

1) change in body.. do you still feel the same great body u had or are your maintaining it?
2) If ur still feeding baby... some guys find it hard to tolerate that smell next to your body.
3) Child brings a lot of crowd in the name of parental support to deal with & its repurcussions on what all they're feeding ur DH abu you.
4) Any continuous interruptions by the child during your act can be a put off for a retry.
5) Also there are additional expenses & if thats occupying DH's head then..