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Putting The Happy Face

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by srajitha, Sep 24, 2021.

  1. srajitha

    srajitha Silver IL'ite

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    I am not the only one with issues , I know many many many of us are going through every day hurdles in life and are still putting up that bright , happy face.
    I was raped 4yrs ago, I didnt had the courage to tell H as he is abusive both verbally and physically, when I finally told him about the incident he took me to PS and registered complain ,I know nothing would ever happen and there is no progress on the case as the other guy is influential. My H also rapes me he says its legal for H to rape in Indian constitution and sometimes he says is this how he did. He abuses verbally and physically, he has many affairs, Once he got a gal while I was in the house and did X. When I fight back he hits me badly, I feel very alone. Depression has become my bestfriend now, I have no control over my eating , cry thinking of all that happened with me.
    They say a guy will loose his carrier being at the back , by dedicating his time to the girl but in my case I lost everything.
    Just living for my kids , I dont feel like staying in this marriage , told several times to him to leave me ,he doesnt leave me.
    Hats off to us who sail through the hardships for their kids.
     
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  2. lakshmi888

    lakshmi888 Bronze IL'ite

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    what you wrote is very shocking...i don't understand how you can stay with that man who is your husband...
     
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  3. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

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    Why don't you file a police complaint against your husband.
    Did you tell your parents.
    How old are your kids.
     
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  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Very shocked to read this OP.
    Do you have family/friends whom you can talk to and move out of this abusive husband? Can someone help you out?
    Your kids are watching you and learning that it's okay to put up with abuse.
    Please take help.
     
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  5. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    If you have access to internet, a mobile/laptop to write this, I am sure you are educated and know to use internet. Gather your courage.
    What you said here, if true, it's not safe for you or your kids to be with him.
    You didn't give much details and I can understand, maybe you are afraid of anyone finding it out.
    If you are outside india, taking kids without spouse's consent might land you in legal trouble.
    But you can call police if you are in us/uk as they act swiftly will arrest your husband unlike in India where the police will talk cheap n say its your family matter solve amongst yourselves!
    If its India, you can immediately contact any NGO or friend/parents and take your kids, shift immediately.
    Filing case or divorce is all secondary. For you to be safe is the 1st priority.
     
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  6. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Hugs to you.
    You can leave him if you want to. No one can stop you. Are you finacially independent. Is there any support system. Google for ' domestic violence help line / hotline' in your country of residence. They may guide you. As he is abusive do all the ground work in a secret mode. Prepare yourself well. If you are in USA, call 911 in case of abuse.
    Abuse is not good for you or kids. You deserve better.
     
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  7. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Shocked..

    Firstly,there is NO DOUBT that you have to leave this guy.He does not deserve you.

    Do your parents know about this incident?Is there anyone from whom you can seek help?

    Right now,you have to move out atleast for the sake of your kids.They deserve a better environment..

    This issue requires counseling too..Your emotional and physical health cannot be at stake plus your kids future ..
     
  8. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    Why are you living in this hell. Believe me your life will be zillion times good if you leave him. Most women are in a dilemma to leave or not, because the husband has atleast some positives. But in your case, I wonder what makes you stick.
    Are you financially independent ? Even if not, plan your exit gradually. Your kids will thank you later when they grow up.

    Plz no one deserves such kind of life. Be courageous.
     
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  9. Parry22

    Parry22 Silver IL'ite

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    OP, the kind of problems that come up here in IndusLadies are to do with issues that are in the borderline of abuse. They are ambiguous. But what you have went through with previous rape incident and current husband situation - is clearly a crime even in the most backward place you could ever live ( i mean rural places in India).
     
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  10. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    Please seperate!... run away.
    Go to the police!!!

    Whatever you do protect yourself... have you got your family?. This is such a hell to be in but you can choose to run... please, dont stay where you are.
     
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