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Punished at home

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ritaroy, Nov 23, 2008.

  1. ritaroy

    ritaroy Bronze IL'ite

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    [JUSTIFY]
    [JUSTIFY]
    It was the first day of my first term exam at class three. It was a rainy day. Rain started sometime after starting of the exam. Our usual exam time was <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:time Hour="10" Minute="0">10 AM to 1 PM</st1:time>. I came home a bit late due to the rain. Mom already arrived from her office; her office hour was up to <st1:time Hour="13" Minute="0">1PM</st1:time>. It was a moist cold weather due to the rain. I had some rain drops at my hair. Mom told me to dry up my head carefully otherwise I might get sick during exam. I was going to change my school uniform. At that time I used to ware half sleeve cotton frock at home. Mom told me it was cold weather you might get cold. She told me to wear full sleeve warm frock and salwar. I made drying up my hair, getting fresh enough and changed my cloths to a greenish printed full sleeve warm frock and white cotton salwar. Mom prepared very delicious and tasty food on that day. We had some meal and after that she wanted to see my question paper and instructed me to come to her bed with my book, pen and not pad. It is usual and after most of the exam she did it earlier. Mom told our servant to bring her optical glass. I came to mom’s room with all of the things I saw mom was wearing her optical glass and going to closet and then took out her cane. It is not usual after exam. That was the first time I saw she was bringing her cane during my exam review. I remembered she warned me 4 months back when I failed to stood first in the last annual exam. Two months back she purchased cane for me but caned me for disciplinary reason. Almost every evening she was teaching me but without cane and didn’t even give me a slap or hold my air for non performance of study. Even yesterday evening when she taught me for today’s exam she was sound and normal. Mom twisted the thin cane with an unique style and then made two swishing sound in the air sh..h..u..uuu.i…shuiii. I felt panic…don’t know what is my fate today.

    It was raining cats and dogs then. Sky was blackish slightly dark outside there was insufficient daylights. Windows of the room were closed to prevent the rain water as the rain flow was towards the room then. Room light was put on even it was afternoon. However Mom asked me some questions from the question paper randomly I could reply successfully. In one question I replied I forgot what I wrote. Mom became very angry. She shouted it is not the answer you might forgot what you wrote but give me the answer of that question. “Tell me. What is the answer?” I couldn’t tell anything. Mom skipped it. Then few questions I could reply correctly. Again answering to the one question I told I forgot to what I wrote. She took the cane from the bed which was nearer to her hand and then hit me rapidly three times to my thighs with terrible smacking sound Shapang…Shapang…Shapang…. It was burning and stinging sensation. Ohh..ohh. ohh I cried and put my hand to my thighs and got a stroke on my finger as cane came down rapidly with out interval. It hurt much. Mom told “take out your hand otherwise you’d get more pain in the finger and would have difficulties in writing.” Then again after very short interval another more powerful stroke came down to the thigh again. Sh..h..h..a..p..shang. I cried loudly. While I set at bed my frock was folded and came close to the body which allowed my both thighs exposed. My thighs were the closest part of my body to mom sitting opposite to me. That day I wore a white cotton salwar. Cane hit my thighs over my salwar. It was first time Mom canned me for study performance. It was raining forcefully when I got canned I felt hissing sound of mom’s cane corresponds with the raining sound. It sounds like a rainy caning. Then again some answers I had to give in writing. I could give the answer correctly.

    At that time in our exam question there were some options say for example, make meaningful sentences of the following 10 wards out of 15. So I could choose the best 10 I know. I replied I didn’t answer that question I answered another one. Mom told “Ok. But you should know the answer. Well is it not within your syllabus? Is it not what I taught you before? So? Your objective of the study is to learn it is just not for the exam only. So tell me the answer of that question”. I couldn’t get into. She was angry again and took the cane in her right hand. Mom hit my left shoulder twice Shapp.. Shwang…I cried isss… isss. Woo.. Again one stroke to the left arm shapang…woohoooh.. And then again to the left arm.. swishhh..thack… oh..oh.. I wept for sometime. After that very few questions were asked and I replied correctly. “From now on I would cane you like this for bad performance of study so do careful at your study” mom told. She didn’t hit at my palm of the hand that day as I had to write in exam. It was a good and memorable caning. Mom told me to take a rest and sleep for an hour and then start taking preparation for the next exam.

    I went to my room laid to my bed. I cried and tears felt on my pillow for some time. It was still raining cats and dogs. I liked very much to watch that type of raining. I opened the window now the rain flow is not towards my room I could open it. I tried to watch the beautiful rain. My eyes were again started raining like the out side rain. After few more days I would be the age of 8. I was a tiny girl. I didn’t know the meaning of deep feeling at that age but now I thought was that the feeling like that song? “It’s raining outside, but that’s not unusual, but the way that I’m feeling, is becoming usual”. I didn’t want to stay there for long I shut the window and came to my bed again. After sometime weeping I felt asleep. I woke up at late afternoon. Mom usually woke me up after one hour today she didn’t.

    I came out to the corridor saw rain was less sky was clear but the evening was closer mom was reading a novel. I went to the washroom and came back to the corridor. Mom looked soft. She told me “You slept at late. Cried too much your eyes were little swelled. Come on my child”. She hold me kiss me several times. She rubbed my both arms and told “Did my cane hurt too much? Oh. My baby I didn’t want to cane you but I can’t”. I wept again told to mom no my mom it’s ok. I’ll try to be good in study. We took some snacks and I started taking preparation for the next exam then. It was still cold a bit so I continued wearing full sleeve frock and salwar on that evening. After some time mom joined me with a very soft mind and without the cane.

    Next morning I got panic to see the very distinguished crisscross red bruising at my thighs and a bit less bruises at shoulders while taking shower. It was not a rainy and cold day I put off my salwar and wore frock only. It was good that my frock extends a little more than the knee otherwise my friends would see those terrible bruising of my thighs. It would be so humiliating then those cane marks lasted for 4-5 days. I can remember I stood first in that exam and I scored highest in that particular exam scoring 93% marks. But I got 8 strokes of the cane for that exam. It was hard strokes according to my age. At that time in our school we could see our every answer sheet of the exam. The day miss used to come with the answer sheets they came to our class with a cane. For that subject our miss canned the girls who obtained bellow 50% marks. Every case was bellow eight strokes I remember and of course those were less hard than what I received. Miss appreciated and congratulated me on that day as usual.
    [/JUSTIFY][JUSTIFY][/JUSTIFY]
    [/JUSTIFY][JUSTIFY][/JUSTIFY]
     
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  2. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    dear rita,
    i see u are a new member so a hearty welcome to u in IL...my heart bleeds for u dear as i cannot imagine the pain u must have undergone both at school and home...how could u ever have enjoyed your studies...hope u had the strength to come out of all that pain...
    love
    Mindi
     
  3. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Rita
    This is just the 2nd post of yours here.
    Wonderful writting, your writting is like novels with detail writeups, very beautifully written.
    What a mercyless mother she can be, she can teach a kid without hitting that small soul too. It was sad to read what you have gone through...........
    This will remain as a print in the childs head forever which she will never forget.
    Keep writting more you have the skill to write.
     
  4. yenetishashi

    yenetishashi Senior IL'ite

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    Hi rita,

    welcome to il,with ur very first post itself u made me to shiver with pain dear.very well narration,u got 93% and cane stokes and girls with less percent also got the same treatment. What would have going in your mind when they were beatn and u have been congratulated, would be happy that time??
    By the what r u now?? And pls dear dont be in a misconception that with ur mom's beating only u have come to the level what ever u r now and plssssssss dont do the same thing to your kids in futre.
    Thanks,
    shashi.
     
  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Rita

    Welcome to IL. Sorry to hear about the punishment u got. You will
    always remember that punishment. Keep writing.

    with love

    viji
     
  6. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Very sad to hear that..rita...
    sometimes kids do need punishment...I too think that it is very harsh, you had undergone.
    As shashi pointed out...don't give this much punishment to your kids..

    sriniketan
     
  7. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Rita

    Welcome to IL. I felt sad to learn about the punishement you had to go through as a child. Sadly this sticks out in your memory, even though you might have had many enjoyable occasions.
    I too request as others have to not resort to this treatment with your kids.
     
  8. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear RitaRoy,

    Let me, first of all, congratulate you for entering the FP forum so soon after your joining the IL. That in itself is an achievement of sorts, considering that it is only your second post here!!

    All the same, never ever forget that this has happened through your own writing merits and not because of the very harsh upbringing that you seemed to have had.
    My heart just melted for you, that little girl and turned into a stone at the thought of your mother.

    The mother in me aches and I want to stretch my arms out to that little sweet girl and hug her and blow her pain away.

    I hope every mother who reads this will abstain from inflicting pain, physical or otherwise on their little ones...Remember, there is God in every innocent child. Learning can wait, take care of their love.

    L, Kamla
     
  9. ritaroy

    ritaroy Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks everyone for your kind reply. Thanks for inspired me in writing. You really understood my pain. It was the fact of 32 years back. I registered here as a new member but I got introduced about this forum before. I read many threads and comments of this forum. It’s an excellent and a comprehensive forum I like it very much. Recently I read two threads in this forum I found similarities between my childhood and teens with them. I remembered again my painful memories. I was tempted to figure out this section to share my memories. One can be hesitating to share these memories I shared those memories not many people before. I shared these to my husband, my daughters and some friends before. Thanks IL to give me the opportunity to share my memories. After sharing my memories I realized a stone went out from my heart. It’s a different type of feeling I can’t express properly these are my long standing memories.

    I’m the only child of my parents. My dad and mom had master’s degree and they were in good job. When I was two years old mom started suffering from diseases became so ill she left that job then. However my dad’s working in a highly paid position and we didn’t have any problem. Soon after that my dad died in a sudden and massive heart attack when I was just 4. My mom was pregnant then but soon after there was miscarriage and I got deprive to have a sibling. Mom started struggling to get a job then. She got a job but it was not like her previous job. That was a transferable job and we traveled different part of <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>. I saw myself from my childhood in a middle class family although I heard our financial status was very good all the way before.

    My mom told me afterwards that during my childhood she was extremely disturbed mentally for familial problem in getting the share from my paternal and property. She could get it partially after 11 years of my dada’s death with lot of struggles and mental stress. She couldn’t recover easily from the shock of my father and she was anxious if she dies I would be alone and may not be in a good position in the society. Her all thinking all wellbeing and sorrows were surrounds me. She told she didn’t want to take any risk and decided to keep me in very strict discipline at home. She told most of the time punishment dosage was more to me than what it should be. She told she loves me so much and when I failed to do anything she became very much angry at that particular moment. After sometime she realized that it was more than enough for me but again when I do wrong she forgot and became angry again. My mom told me she also received cane from my Grand Ma during her childhood but not obviously like me. She added she was alone to look after me. She was afraid about the situation then. If she would set I free at my teen, allowed me free mixing with boys, permitted me to wear fashionable dresses I might be lees attentive to my duties and made love with boys. And once I might marry with a wrong boy at my premature age. I would be totally out of control then all my mom’s dreams would be dashed. Our miseries would be started then. One thing she observed I was not attentive in studies with out pressure. She observed after starting applying punishment my academic performance had increased significantly, she got inspired and kept continued the strictness. Most of the mom’s friends, colleagues and our relatives appreciated mom’s strict discipline and caning. They told my academic performance, behavior was excellent and improving day by day its mom’s credit and mom was advised to keep continuing the pressure and to keep me wearing simple dresses. Mom got inspired and thought she was in a right tract. She told ones nature varied and everyone has different personality. She observed so many times that I was a girl who loose the tract if the discipline had lightened. And she thought it was very justified indeed on that point of view.

    In my teens I wished to wear bright fashionable dresses Jeans, T-shirt, Skirt, churridars etc like my cousins and friends but my mom didn’t permit. She told me all of your movement would be controlled up to the age of 18. When I got promoted to class six my mom imposed my dress code as simple salwar kameez dupatta at home and out side. It was light printed cotton full sleeved kameez, white cotton salwar and white cotton dupatta. That dress code was mandatory to me in almost entire teens.

    My mother loves me very much. In her office they used to enjoy snacks frequently with her colleagues. Mom used to take a little portion of that and kept the remaining in her bag for me. She provided me toys, child literary books, music tapes at my childhood and teen despite of not earning enough money. She always tries to fulfill my desires. I like philately. She helped me purchasing postage stamps. She also arranged my music learning and arranged watching movies at cinema hall. She accompanied me in visiting some places in vacations.

    I received cane in school in 4 occasions. It was one to two strokes and very light strokes only for those events when entire class was caned due to making noise in absence of teacher. I was a good student. I got first position in my class exams in more than 95% cases up to my higher secondary studies may all of my institutions were not high standard. My mom was my teacher as well as private tutor at home up to higher secondary studies. She usually taught me in every evening.

    I received cane from my mom many times at home especially at teen. Many times I received it for making mistakes during her teaching at the evening. Mummy’s caning was furious so harder. I can compare the school caning for the other girls I saw was very lighter in compared to mummy’s caning. Every evening when she used to sit with me for study she took a long swishy rattan cane of which the handle and the tip were rapped by red tape. Tip of the cane was rapped by an inch and the handle was rapped by 4 inch to have a better grip. She didn’t cane me for minor mistakes. She caned me mercilessly for moderate and major mistakes. If I miss spelled any word for the first time she made me to write that word ten times and I had to write five different sentences using that word. If I miss spelled that word ever again I had to do the same and in addition she gave me some powerful cane strokes. She usually caned my bottom and upper thigh. I was asked to bend under the table. My kameez was folded up. Then she canned me over my white salwar. Some times she caned me to my palm of the hand and some time at my arms. When we set at bed during studies, at that time my mom caned me over my thighs and legs. I used to cry sometime while being whipped. When we stayed in apartment house our neighbors could hear my crying and the terrible swishing sound of the whippy cane. Many times I just wept and abstained from crying. I was afraid and always being anxious about my mummy’s caning during my childhood and teens. It was so hard punishment for me. I tried my best to prepare my studies.

    I also received caning for some disciplinary ground as well. Such as disobedience, misbehaving, lying, cheating, using slang as sleep of tongue, going to cinema or some where without knowing mum, reading story books during study time etc. I corrected those soon. I got 4-12 strokes in one instance. Cane marks lasts ranging from 3-12 days. I saw different color changing in caning marks progressively. From early childhood to teen as long as I was growing up my mom continuing replacing her cane changed it to a bit longer and thicker. I haven’t seen any cane had broken while beating me. But many times I observed the tip of the cane became frayed. Then she discarded that cane.

    After completion of my higher secondary studies I was set free and my mom didn’t beat me (except two instances during my first year of my under graduate study). After my teens I was free and permitted to wear dresses of my own choice. During my undergrad study I was allowed to make friend with boys. I had boy friends. I loved one who is three years senior to me and got married to him. Mom took it positively as I was adult could be able to judge and take better decision. Mom told she also had affair with my dad before marriage. Dad was two years senior to mom. I got graduated successfully and lucky to get a job in an international developing organization in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>. After sometime I worked in international position in two different countries. In between my international assignments I did my masters from out side <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Now I’m staying in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>. I faced difficulties in staying with my husband as we couldn’t find our positions always in a same city. Both of us left our job. My husband started a business I’m assisting her. Our business runs successfully. We had two lovely daughters. Both of them are in teen. They are excellent. I never caned them. They are free to wear colorful dresses.

    Dear Mindi. It’s really heart bleeding. It was severe pain both physical and psychological only the sufferer can realize but you can imagine. I came out long before. I enjoyed music and traveling. I traveled more than 30 countries so far. Love.

    Hello Aruna. Nice to hear that my write-up could attract you. It is such a special case which is why I could write in open mind. I heard my memory is good. I can remember every detail of my many caning memories. Yes mom was merciless indeed. However I do not have any complaint to my mom, because she is my mom and she always thought about my better future no doubt. She passed away a year before; until she was alive she loved me. She stayed with me after her retirement. I love my mom. Yes I shouldn’t compare my life with others. Many thanks for your valuable note. Love.

    Hi Shashi. I didn’t get the same treatment. My mom’s caning was much harder that what I saw in class. Thanks for mentioning about the feeling seeing my friend’s caning. It was pretty usual in our time as it was not harder than me perhaps I didn’t have too many expressions. But I could remember now what I didn’t mention in my last note I wept when I congratulated. My friends and teacher thought it was the tears for joy but actually it was that feeling that I got highest marks but what a painful caning I received from mom for that exam few days back. Your note made me remember my tearing once again. Dear I don’t have misconception. I don’t practice cane to my kids. It was a shivering. You can imagine my teen days were shivering for the cane. I had the fear all the way. Love.

    Dear Viji. You are right. I’ll never forget that punishment though it was long before. Not only that I’ll not forget many of my home punishment memories. I just shared one in my last post. I think one can’t forget this type of childhood memories. Love.

    Dear Sriniketan. I do agree sometimes kids do need punishment. It was common in our time. All through I received much more punishment than that of usual. I always count my blessings. Love.

    Dear Sundarusha. I have had many enjoyable occasions. But I couldn’t share my sad memories to all those remains in my heart for a long time. Love.

    Dear Kamla, if mothers would abstain and stooping harsh punishment reading this note I’ll be happy. Love.

    Thanks IL once again I got some peace in my heart for sharing at least one of my punishment story.
     
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  10. kanaka Raghavan

    kanaka Raghavan IL Hall of Fame

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    Moved.I do not believe in parents canning children it is very cruel.You can teach children good things of life without canning.
     

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