Puberty function Invitation wordings

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by smiley29, Jun 6, 2013.

  1. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Girl...
    My personal opinions on this aside..I absolutely love reading ur take on many of these ahem inconvenient threads .Much needed burst of positivity!
     
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  2. sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    Are you sure they refer to exactly the SAME thing ?:hide: As far as I know, the other celebrations only refer to the age at which a girl could be introduced to 'mature' society and (a hundred years ago, the marriage market), and they would have attained puberty before that ... I think the girls who LOVE the puberty function in India suffer from a modified version of Stockholm syndrome, like our grandmas justified the restrictions placed on widows... moreover, a 12 or 13 yr old attaining puberty does not automatically transition into an adult, she is still a child :) no offence meant, just my $0.02 ...
    Btw, i know of little boys who wanted a similar ceremony for themselves, (because they too wanted to be fussed over like their sisters) much to the horror of their moms :)
     
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  3. Awar

    Awar Silver IL'ite

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    Exactly my thought and only noticed to see the mentioned...Indeed there was a reason for these things although some might find it a bit odd to have these functions these days and that could be a talk or might get teased at school...

    OP is not asking if they should or not or for our opinion but wanted help for invitation.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2013
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  4. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    The said function is very much prevalent in some societies , its a norm .
    I have attended a similar function , the young girl was decked out in jewels gifted by her Mama , everybody was happy, it was a big function.
    There are certain traditions and customs which people follow which must be respected.
     
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  5. mathiravi

    mathiravi Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Haha,,,interesting.. I was talking about this recently to a punjabi friend of mine...
    Oh boy!!! She was telling me that she saw a big banner of this kind at a place where she was previously working in India...
    She added why you want to put the little girl in a embarrassing situation...I explained the reasons to her as below:
    1. Tis function is to officially let the society know that there is a girl ready for marriage
    2. Even if the girls are so shy for this, if she happens to be a single girl child , the parents wanted to do it in a grand way..
    3.. Puberty brings lot of changes in body and mind.. It takes time for the girl to accept them.. I know not the reason why they make it public.
    4. From what I heard about from elders at home, if a punya homam is not done at the time of puberty, the marriage gets delayed..

    She was like OMG..
    I still remember the time of my puberty.. I have a younger brother and the only girl child .. My parents were so happy in calling out friends and relatives, arranging for feasts and did it in a grand manner..i asked my mom, if you will be doing a big function like this every month..... funny , i didnt even know how to react to that ...when they approached my school( I was in my class 7), my vicey told my mom, that , why you want to put the little child in a embarrassing situation.. My mom could not answer and she managed to convince her though:)

    My DH after our marriage makes fun of me seeing those pics like I was a doll that was about to cry....
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2013
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  6. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Rakhii
    Sweet 16 is just celebration of 16th year bday. It has nothing to do with getting your first menstrual cycle.
    You can wiki it to confirm. But it is an age related bday nothing to do with human body functioning.
     
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  7. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rakhii
    According to you what you say is right outside India this is celebrated at the age of 16 by that time the girl is already matured enough to handle her periods.

    But here in India the kid reach her purerty at a young age and they are so confused, they themself doesn't know what is going on why this is happening and during such a time the elders have this function. As this will be the 1st time she is still trying to handle the pads and all and at such a time elders want to celebrate it. which I personally don't like it.

    I am not against this celebration. What i like to say is let the girl understand what is happening to her and let her get use to this monthly cycle.

    Here in India I have seen some of the kids find it so difficult to handle what is happening to them and during such function they feel so uncomfortable but they are not able to speak out to they parents they just sit quite.

    It is not that I havn't gone through this I too have gone through this function becoz of my grandmother who wanted this function to happen. But my younger sister was saved from this.

    I understand some girls enjoy this becoz on this day they are given so much importance and get many gifts. But I have even seen majority of the girls suffering when celebrating this function.

    Sorry OP I know this discussion has gone off the track but I feel it is a good topic for discussion.
     
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  8. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    That's why I said, some of them are age specific, see my first post.

    Aruna, Ragini, I would say to each their own. Normally, if you see, these kids would be embarrassed if we act around them like its something to be embarrassed about.

    Aruna, I get your point, if it comes to an extent where the child is more troubled than happy, then parents can skip this function altogether. To be honest, I have attended only about 30 functions and not more of this sort and the girls didn't particularly express any distaste. You probably know better as I am sure you got to witness more.
    One more thing to add Aruna, normally these functions are kept after 5 th day so that the girl is out of her tampons/pads.
     
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  9. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    I have told in my previous post too, some of them are time specific. If you happen to do a little bit of research, you will come across several countries doing this. By this I dont mean that just because someone is jumping down the cliff we should too. I a just saying, its not just in India.

    If the girl is feeling embarrassed, its the responsibility of the elders to make her feel comfortable. Assure her that there is nothing to be ashamed of and that its an extremely natural thing to happen.
     
  10. JGVR

    JGVR Gold IL'ite

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    The tradition of celebrating the coming of age of a girl child is not just to say the outside world that there is a girl ready to get married.it is also a way of telling the girl child that she is no longer a child and she needs to be careful with the outside world.Only parents and relatives can advise the child better and hence the function to call everyone home.The invitation is given out only to close relatives and not to everyone around the town and there is nothing to be embarassed about this.

    Again its a personal preference whether to celebrate or not,but for a child who is entering into adoloscent,she will feel elated for the attention she gets.
     

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