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Psychological pressure

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Apr 22, 2012.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Rohit and Sumana were on vacation trip to Shimla, a beautiful hill station in Himachal Pradesh. After a hectic sight-seeing trip for three days, they were relaxing in their hotel room with their one-year old son. It was their 5th wedding anniversary. The next day, they were planning to return home. Getting back to routine after an entertaining vacation is always tough and Sumana was reviewing her flash back of married life.


    Rohit and Sumana were married exactly five years back. They both were very successful in their respective career and Sumana was initially very concerned that she might have to forgo her career. Rohit told Sumana after their marriage that his intention was to build a new house for them to live and hence she should continue pursuing her career. Sumana was happy as it helped her to pursue her career further. They decided not to have children for at least three years but decided not to discuss it with their respective parents as they would begin applying pressure on them.


    However, Sumana was having enormous pressure from Rohit’s parents throughout the three year period. Somehow, she managed to keep it to herself. Eventually, they built a beautiful house and Rohit, Sumana and Rohit parents moved into the new house after letting Rohit parents’ house for rent generating a good income for Rohit’s parents besides the interest and dividends his parents were earning from their investments. Having completed their mission, the young couple decided to have a family and Sumana got pregnant. The news of her pregnancy was happily received by Rohit as well as his parents. However, her mother-in-law told her that she should get a baby boy. Not knowing what child she was going to get, Sumana was under tremendous mental pressure. She asked Rohit about his wish without telling his mother’s wish, and he also felt that they should get a male child.



    Sumana resigned her job earlier and started visiting several temples praying for a baby boy. The gynecologist she was visiting told her to take it easy and keep herself healthy throughout the pregnancy. Quitting the job, pressure to have a male child and her inability to discuss her fear of what would happen if she delivered a girl child started deteriorating her health badly. She was very depressed thinking about it all the time. Eventually, the delivery time came and the gynecologist told Rohit that it would be a very complicated delivery. Rohit rushed her to the hospital when she complained of labor pain and when she was in the hospital, he was informed that she was suffering from fits. He started praying for the health of his wife Sumana. When he got a few minutes to meet with her, he held her hands with tears in his eyes and told her, “I am not going to worry about whether it is boy or girl and all I want is your good health.” These words worked like magic in her minds and she delivered a baby boy within an hour after his conversation with her.



    Rohit rushed inside the room to see the baby boy and the mother. Sumana was in tears and hugged her husband and when he was holding his child proudly, she asked, “What would have happened if I had delivered a girl child?” He replied, “I would welcome the girl child into our family with open arms. If your parents thought of not having a girl child, I will not have such a wonderful soul as my wife. If my mother’s parents did not think of having a girl baby, I won’t be here either.” It is Rohit’s words that made Sumana to come back to normal mental and physical health.


    It is not adequate if laws are enacted to prevent the parents from scanning to find out the gender of the child in a mother’s womb. It is also equally important to bring social awareness among everyone to accept the children of any gender and the behavior of people who give psychological pressure to a pregnant woman should be rejected by their own family members.
     
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  2. InnerBliss

    InnerBliss Gold IL'ite

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    Well written Viswamitrasir. Thanks for sharing such social issues skillfully :)
     
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you Anu for your kind comments.

    Viswa
     
  4. ramyaramani

    ramyaramani Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    If only all husband viewed the bundle of joy as Rohit did. In this fast moving technological world, amongst educated people, there lie a few who are still stuck with gender bias. My friends husband did not visit her in the hospital for 2 days after he delivered a girl child.
     
  5. Kiruthigaranjit

    Kiruthigaranjit Senior IL'ite

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    Really nice ...only gents r looking for boy baby becoz they donot understand the laborpain what a woman suffers.every baby is god's gift ....So don't see d gender...
     
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for your feedback and it is painful to read your friend's husband did not visit her in the hospital for 2 days after he delivered a girl child. How can the husband think delivering a girl baby is his wife's fault? I have one brother and no sisters. My wife was the only child to her parents she is always missing a brother. Now, we have only one son and we were not lucky to have a daughter. Girl child is like a treasure in our family.

    Viswa
     
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kiruthiga,

    I couldn't have said it better than what you said your feedback. Any child is a gift and only people who don't even have one would understand it better.

    Viswa
     
  8. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

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    Good point you made with this Viswamitra sir.

    Its not only enough to have laws & regulations but also social awareness helps in many a times. aptly named Psychological Pressure.
     
  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for your feedback. Only social awareness could bring some peace into the families as it is difficult to regulate every conversation between family members.

    Viswa
     
  10. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

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    Wonderful story Viswamitra Sir. If anyone wondering whether still people are having preference for a male child over a female one, I say YES. I have witnessed the inlaws ordering, and once the girl got pregnant their comments were all directed towards male child, as if they are 100% sure that their DIL is bearing a male child. E.g.," we should name this for our Grand son"; "every woman in our family circle have delievered a baby boy as their first child". This did put the DIL in pressure that what if she is actually bearing a girl baby, that would disappoint the whole family? She did poojas and what not, but finally she delivered a girl baby. She is an absolute beauty. The baby is 5 years old now, but still her inlaws would complain her inability to bear a son. Sad thing I noticed is, that girl child is too shy or too afraid of everyone. I definitely believe that its because of the mental torture the mom went through when she was pregnant.

    Really sad thing. I dont know whether this is a true story of not Sir, but the message you have given is golden:
    Thank you for sharing this story with us Sir.

    ILT
     

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