Prospective Groom is saying my dad has final responsibility before kanyaadaan

What does he say about your father's responsibilities, when you become pregnant, and what about your dad's responsibilities towards his grand children......

 

Groom wants money; For HIM and HIS house and he wants as much as your father can give! He wants no other function so that there are no expanses from HIS side and YOUR parents side so that he can save money and YOUR father can save money to give CASH to HIM!!! So if you think this guy is not Asking for dowry then nothing can help you understand it. Coming to your father, Remember its HIS HARD EARNED MONEY. He should have a say in HOW its going to be spent, who is going to get properties, FD, or how much can he shell for marriage! With such kids/SILs he should better save something for his hay days. If you are so desperate to marry this guy then tell him to lower his expectations from your father and if this guy is equally willing to marry you then he would accept and if he doesnt accept then you will know what value you have in his eyes(he agreed to marry you right)! if you want to marry to this particular guy then take a loan instead of torturing your father.

 

how will she pay back Hotchilli? She is not going to work post marriage. Who will pay for the loan?
I totally understand where you are coming from, but in OPs case, its not going to work.

 

Money matters/negotiations are quite common in arranged marriages , but these are handled mainly by the elders of both sides; I have not heard or seen a single case where the groom is so actively and solely involved in such discussions. Certainly a red flag to me...he wants an adjusting and simple girl...more red flags. There are so many stories about working women who are expected to be door mats and are not even allowed to touch their own hard earned salaries..

 

Dear Rakhi
Yes ..I completely understand. I pointed out inconsistencies in the post.
The post ,analysis from OP and replies are very meticulously done. Does not seem to come from
a bechari abla from a patriarchal family getting ready to go to another one.
Enough said.

 

I wonder how such a conservative family will get their SNIL behind bars if he makes any demands post marriage ... OP, what seems like an amiable honest statement to you now will become a challenge post marriage ... and what about his family ? will they also make no subsequent demands ?? is his offer true for them as well ?:spin
as someone else suggested, find out what your dad's responsibilities to you are when you go the family way :coffee
if you're dead set on marrying this guy, hope life treats you better than many other women here ..

 

If she is not going to work then at least she can try to understand her fathers condition and wait for another guy! If father says that he cant afford then he must not be in a position. otherwise why the hell would he keep his 30 year old daughter waiting for marriage! If a daughter cant understand how can SIL!

 

bells are t(r)olling, you think? i feel they are.

 

OP...what is your inlaws take on this? How come they are not talking anything?