Prospective Groom is saying my dad has final responsibility before kanyaadaan

Hello Girls,

I am 29 year old teacher. I have got an alliance from one prospective groom. He is 31, did his masters and working as an analyst in good MNC company. The salary is decent. It is neither too high nor too low. The groom is very nice, good looking and soft spoken. He has showed us all his certificates and is honest and genuine. The family also owns their own large house. We have visited their house. What i like him is he is emotionally very mature.

He clearly told my dad in the one of meetings that after marriage if he asks even one rupee, you can put a dowry harassment case against him and put him in jail. He told my dad you have a final responsibility and a girl will not inherit your property and income, so you do have to discuss budget with me.

He has asked for fixed deposit, some cash and a decent marriage function. What ever he has asked, my dad can afford. Girls, please tell what to do?

When i think clearly, then my heart says prospective groom is right. I have one younger brother who is 24 and he will inherit my father business, property and everything else. I will not be given anything and i want good future for my husband and children.

But then my head says well the groom is obviously demanding. However he does not sound greedy. He wants to make sure my dad does not exceed his budget and he has a firm belief a girl dad has a final responsibility and should help newly married couple.

 

I will not get a penny in my father property and income. My brother and his wife when ever she comes wont allow. My dad will no go against his son- well son will take care of dad. In majority of households, it will never happen girls will get share. Once we are bid goodbye, they are all going to be busy with their own life.

The prospective groom asked my dad his budget. My dad intentionally told him a low budget. He replied back in a calm tone budget is low. It is simply a negotiation going on and you know my dad is also playing games to try to save as much money as possible.

A year back, one good alliance also said yes and they were demanding 2 times more then this prospective groom is demanding. Obviously that amount we could not afford and talks failed.

 

This is a good question. It will give more clarity:

1) Fixed Deposit-Only on my name. He himself said not even joint name. It will be totally on my name. However he clearly said the interest income will be used for household expenses. So principal remains intact, but he will get interest income which will be used for managing our expenses + his contribution from his salary.

2) Cash: That will be given to him only

3) Decent marriage function: He himself said no other functions like no ring ceremony, Sagan, mehendi as he wants to make sure budget does not exceed. All other functions at home.

He says budget and expenses are very important part of marriage and all misunderstanding comes from those things. Se he wants to discuss it clearly.

My dad kept mum and did not utter a word and finally the prospective groom asked us about our budget and marriage plans.

 

Very relieving to read your reply. Yes i am very interested in this groom. I will not get a better groom then this one.

But here is what my dad is thinking. He didn't told me but i know my dad and discussed with my mom. Dad is now keeping this groom pending and he is searching another one so that he gets another groom whose demands are less and he can save money !!!

I am discriminated here in my own family, god knows what will happen at ILs house

Please can you tell me are negotiations part of every arranged marriage?