Problems with in-laws and husband

It's not easy to put away his family just like that but ur husband needs to know his limit of spending for the family when he has a wife and kid to take care of too.

 

As you have tried a no. of times to make him understand so now I think you shud go for some hard and harsh steps.If he decides to go for his brother marriage leaving you abroad then you too put your foot down go to your parents home and tell him not to bother you and your baby and just take care of your parents. If you and your baby don't mean for him then ok better be alone.

May be this way he understands if not the straight way.

 

OP, how far are you on pregnancy, I mean which trimester? If its not the last one and you don't have work commitments, why don't you join your DH for the wedding. Its afterall his brother's wedding.

Usually weddings in the family is arranged according to the family member's convenient dates (in addition to horoscope/auspicious etc). If you are in your 8th or 9th month, obviously you can't travel and you need someone by your side, just in case. If your inlaws didn't consider all this in planning the wedding, then you don't need to go and your DH should support you by not attending it himself. Well, this is ideal solution. But how many times the ideal solutions work in Indian families?

If your DH wants to attend the wedding for sure, ask him to make it a short trip like a week and if you have a close relative or friend, try to stay with them for that 1 week. Deal one issue at a time. You are pregnant now and take care of yourself and baby for now.

 

Like Priya said, marriage dates are fixed according to both the families and the bride/grooms convenience. And it is natural for your H to want to attend his Brothers wedding. As long as its not your last trimester. Try to be positive, dont use words like selfish, manipulative when you talk to him about his family. Noone likes to hear that, it will immediately make him defensive.you should be carefree and happy at this stage, not angry..trust me, things will be definitely better after the baby.

 

dear op,

it is the primary duty of any son to provide for his parent's needs, and that does not change with marriage. it is a life long commitment.

it is hard to figure out whether their demands are for their luxury or everyday needs, since you haven't specified what exactly they do with the money.

i think you just need to chill, and take things positively. everyone loves their siblings, i'm sure hubby doesn't want to miss the wedding. if you are in good health, then send your hubby happily for the wedding, he too will be glad, if you have send him half heartedly, then he will keep worrying about you.

your ILs are anyway coming for your delivery, and as long as the baby shower is concerned, i'm sure they are planning a big event for you, maybe they just want it to be a surprise. you need to be positive.

enjoy your motherhood, this is not the time to worry about household expenses. have a happy pregnancy!!

 

Regarding financial issues you have to together with your dh decide (and compromise) about how much you are able to spend outside of the family. You are now his main responsibility and he cannot spend significant money outside your family. He has (and you have) of course also responsibilities outside the family like to your parents. But it has to be a common agreement about those kind of decision.

If you are not comfortable of them visitin during your delivery discuss about them coming a little bit later when you have settled down with your baby.

It is understandable that your DH wants to participate in his brothers wedding. How far are you with your pregnancy? Can you also participate?

 

Send your husband but don't allow inlaws for your delivery .