problems with ils becoz of not having kids

First of all sorry to hear that "going to die" granny is interfering too much in to your life! I know how it feels !! Are you guys staying together ?? From what you told that you are not attending calls, I presume that you might be in some other town! If in case you get a chance to travel abroad either you or your hubby, trying out for few months! Change of place always brings happiness around rather than the same old spoken stories! Also trust me if you need a baby first thumb rule is shut your ears to others, tomo even if you get a kid those so called OTHERS will always keep talking something or the other ! So my kind advise to you is that you are not too late for a baby !! But it's better to reach early than rushing when you reach 35. So first thing you need to check in your checklist is:
1. Is your periods regular? ( if yes you have crossed half the journey successfully, already)
2. For couples it's not mandatory to visit a infertility specialist immediately, rather first visit a gynec who can have you checked for PCOD, thyroid profile and other hormone profile like LH and FSH.
3. If all the above are normal too, then you are almost there 75% close.
4. Now all you have to do is know when you are ovulating, not all women exactly ovulate at day 14 that is mid of a cycle, some ovulate even at day 19 of the cycle , try investing in a ovulation predictor kit, which can help you find out the same.
5. Once you have all the above 5 points cleared, you are 90% there. Now all you have to do is follow IC(intercourse) starting from 3 days before your ovulation day and continue until you get to the end of cycle.

If you are succeeding in all the above am sure your baby goal is not so far off from you !!
Good luck and loads of baby dust to you !

 

hey come on... of all the people u r feeling low.. after teaching everyone how to deal with MIL, u shudnt be posting this... cheer up buddy....

U had a miscarriage, that means u r FERTILE... that too just 9 months back..If u were unable to concieve at all I can understand ur fears. I know it must be very difficult enuf to handle ur health and to top it the irritating people around...

I know plently of people who try try n try and concieve well past the 30... just give ur body and mind a rest...

GOD tests people in different ways, to some HE gives kids and tests, to some HE doesnt give any and tests, and to some HE'll delay...

either just ignore, ignore ignore. or asx the granny innocently maybe im not doin it right, asx her to explain in detail what she did...

have a frank talk with ur DH, take him to ur doc n let the gynec erase his fears. If u have a solid relationship with ur DH, others things will not bother u...

Keep urself busy, soon enuf u r gonna be posting in parenting section..

 

You want a kid stop putting pause on every body's thinking and try to cheer up 30 is not old who said that its old. I was pregnant when I was 30. stress is adding lot of trouble so just put it aside and try to think on positive side, try/avoid taking calls from your il's side if your hubby takes call let him as we cant tell him no and even thou we say don't talk he doesn't listen so forget about that.only when you stop worrying and trying to focus on what you want then add its going to show some result. Ask god, pour out all your thoughts/worries, There is nothing that cant be done with Gods help. We all can only suggest you do this, do that but its not going to give you relief, first try to set your mind free of all other peoples thinking then start focusing on main things.

 

Hi OP,

Hugs to you! Great job of not talking to the stupid granny.

You could use diversionary tactics when they ask inappropriate questions. When anyone asks such questions, just say, "i understand why you are asking this. I'll let you know once we have the good news." If they persist, politely say "I don't was to discuss this. Such stress doesn't help while we are trying." To the point and direct. If they take offence to that it isn't your fault. If your DH is not happy with your answer, ask him to explain to these insensitive fools.

I had two miscarriages and now have a lovely DD. I was 34 when she was born and the delay was (except the ladt two years) by choice. And you know what? I got myself tested twice and my husband back then refused to get tested. Finally, it turned out he was the one with he problem! The test for guys is os non invasive. The could just get it done in no time.

First you must learn to stand with your head high. Whatever your situation, you are a better person than any of those insinsitive idiots talking. With that in mind be confident and serene. You take charge and without telling anyone else find a gynec you feel comfy with. Take your DH and have a chat with the doctor to see what your options are. As long as you are in barge, no one can force you to undergo any nonsense. Good luck dear

 

Am the only reason for this? If u r the one for that? to ur DH

Whats wrong with u to think like that? is there any wrong u did? Now a days its common to 5 out of 10. They always wait for chance to taunt bullish..

 

Tell your husband,either he makes them stop or you will tell them to shut up.If it's your side of the family ,you tell them you are not comfortable talking about it.
If granny asks...tell her you will put up a show for her to inspect.....

Don't get stressed out because of these people. Trying for a baby is the most fun part about the whole process....why let these busy bodies spoil it for you?

 

@OP,

i hope you are prepared to have a baby,rather than just having it for the sake of their demands!

good you are not answering the granny's calls...just keep on not answering it and let husband face the tune..he will get fed up and cut her off...let him deal with her indirectly...

if she/anyone asks at gatherings about infertility and having kids...just say with a broad smile that it will happen when it has to and you both are not in a hurry...whenever you meet them have a high self confidence so that they dont get to the point of asking you such questions...if they see you lousy then you will an easy vulnerable target.

even infront of husband dont potray as if you guys are not able to have kids and its the end of life...dont sulk with him..be cheerful..that will give him a positive attitude too and he will himself deal with his friends and family.

on the other hand..casually both you and DH go to an infertility specialist without letting others know at home and get a consultation.if people get to know at home then the pressure and nagging will be even more.

and believe me,this is just an excuse to torture you..once you conceive do you think they will all be happy and your problems will fly away?...dont bet on it...then they will start on your pregnancy...hence be mentally prepared yourself.

 

Hey cool down not to worry at all. I got kids after 9 yrs that to IVF and that time I am 30 yrs old. I too gone through lot of tough time and family pressure. Only thing kept going for me is my DH when every body insulted me for not having baby. My mother- in- law started black mailed me that she is going to 2nd marry for her son. But she never tells before her son. Ya I too got sad hearing that and cries to my DH. But he supports me but refuse to agree his mother said that. So, I stopped telling him what his mom or others talk about me and just prayed prayed prayed God. God blessed me with twins. A boy and a gril.

Just have a DGO check and pray God. I too gave ears to stupid ppl talking and lost my mental peace. Now really feeling bad how much time I have wasted just giving them a chance to talk about me and upset me. Be strong and never show ur upset because of their speech. Then they itself will stop hurting u or asking you.

 

Don't worry ...I am in same boat and can understand how you feel...I have been asked same questions ...my MIL keeps track of my period dates better than me:coffeein (i really hate that ..now i am not giving proper response to that Q)also in addition they used to scold me not to use birth control pills (though I am not using they used to think i don't need kids and using bcp)I really used to cry a lot at nights and this used to irritates my DH ....one day my MIL told she likes her neighbors daughter and she will be happy if that girl replaces me and asked me to talk about that girl with my DH ...ofcourse Dh is not aware of all these things....I know she just tried to blackmail me...At some point of time people around me behaved so badly that I felt guilty for not having kids and made me feel my life is use less.

Every time i go to MIL or call they repeat same questions so i reduced talking to them...

But now I am trying to come out of all these things...

see its not our fault...kids are only part of life and we are trying our best.no matter what our life still goes on ..why get up each morning With depression spend the days with depression and sleep with depression..instead try to focus our time in some thing else....

These people doesn't have enough maturity to understand what we are going through & they dont want to listen /understand anything except the word kid..eat well,ignore and try to be at peace..though you don't have any issue it is not wrong in seeing DR......

Iam 31 and taking fertility treatments now ...the docs here have more hope than me ...they tell I am still young......

Now every time my MIL ask me about kids I in turn ask her do you really believe in god?(the answer will be definitely ;-))she will say yes then I say so believe that god is the one who creates universe he Is one who blesses me with kids...instead of asking me ask GOD.