Problem With Younger Cosister

Best solution call her and ask her to help you as u need to do lot multitasking .
I hope it works for you , just try
All the best .

 

@Trustcarelove

Problem is your (Even mine) confidence and self dependence.
People take your abilities for granted. It is time to say NO when there is a need for self protection. If not, you will be exploited for no reasons.

I love to be active, and it is my nature.
I can't be lazy or I can't stand a messy house at all. So, regardless of domestic supports (maids), I ensure my house is properly functioning.
Sometimes my H helps around. He has no ego. But his work schedule does not always allow him to slog in the kitchen with me.
So, most of the days it is me who manages everything at home to ensure our house is clean and tidy, and presentable to the guests at any given time. More importantly, I take extra steps to make the residents of the house feel comfortable, as it makes me happy at the end of the day.

Since I do this without anyone's instructions or order, my family take this for granted. They expect me to do the works and maintain the house all the days as it is today.
Initially they were amazed at my 'super woman" qualities, since I am also a working woman. However, with time they have forgotten it comfortably, rather expected more and more from me instead of appreciating what I am actually doing.

I think your family (read your H) is also the same as mine. He knows what you are capable of. He knows how much you love to work and present your house/food etc for the guests. He takes you for granted. This happens.
That's why he asks you to make this and that to make his guests comfortable.
He doesn't see your disturbance here at all....

This even happened to me so many times in the past, until I put my foot down to defend myself.

Don't spoil your relationship with your BIL or co-sis right now. But open up this topic with your H immediately.
Tell him that you are already over doing, and you can't do any further. Tell him about your limits.
Tell him, how much support is needed in the kitchen to reduce your workload, so that you too could take some rest.
Be explicit if he could not understand the hints. Be firm, but don't lose your cool.

When your BIL and CO-sis comes for the next time, follow these simple tips.

- Don't mother your co-sis
- Cook just one elaborate meal at home (I personally prefer lunch) and make your H buy the remaining two meals (b-fast and dinner). Alternatively, you all could eat out too.
- Look for local home-made food providers (if any), and order food from them.
- Look for simple ready made meals, and invite all the adults to make their own dish.
- Ask your H to set an example about washing the dishes after the meal. Jokingly you could ask others to do the same.
- Invest your time into something interesting other than cooking and serving.
- Don't ask their menu unless you are getting the food from outside
- Learn to accept criticism, and take it as part of life. At the end of the day, no matter how much you try to be perfect, people will have something or the other to criticize you. So, better embrace the imperfections of us and others and live normally.

 

Absolutely no help @Rihana
It is getting harder here to find a domestic helper. Even if we find, it is very expensive, and they are not reliable. Due to so much reported security issues, we have finally got rid of the helpers (maid, gardener and nanny). The former maids too were not working with us for a long time. They just rotate, and the maid turnover was very much high.
That was one of the reason, why I had to leave my original career - which demanded more of me. Now that I am in a flexible 9-5 job near my home.

So, comming back to the topic, yes. I do all the chores, almost all alone. H's work time and location won't support him to slog in the kitchen regularly. Although he does not have any Ego on this.

I am not forced to work. But I want to work, and I am used to work now a days.
I could not withstand a messy home, specially a messy kitchen. I do not want my kids to eat fast food or store brought food, rather I want them to have freshly prepared home made hygienic food.
I even personally don't like to eat out all the time.
I could not sleep peacefully if one of my bathrooms are smelly. It is just my personal disorder, because I want everything around me to be clean.
I want my home to be clean and tidy, and to be presentable to the guests at any given time. If not I feel so bad and embarrassed.
So, I can't complain about being helpless or over worked, as I do it for me.
But I understand OP's POV clearly, as it pains when someone takes us for granted, and orders us to do this and that since we are capable of over working.

 

Now maintaining gender equality is an additional duty on the host WOW .How convenient to give free pass to the woman in the name of man not working in a hosts house .

The couple can sort out between themselves who need to work but expecting host to go out of her comfort area and ask BIL instead of co sister is bit far fetched .

Basically both are spoilt brats getting free work done by some one else .

Play the gender card at home and get husband to work , if you are a guest follow the host and you can tell husband to pitch in if one has achieved gender equality at home

 

You did not mention about my times in FB, whatsapp and other social media.
I have time for the gym and yoga, and I do diet at times, so cook low calorie special food for myself.

I am an active member of a local charity club, and I do social services on my free time.

We do travel a lot and host guests a lot of times here.

Absolutely I am not boasting here. But I live my life.
I do consider myself to be active and I hate to be lazy. That's all.