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Problem With Younger Cosister

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Trustcarelove, Dec 12, 2016.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    OP, you work full time, have two boys 9 and 3 years old, and make fresh idli batter to give to guests departing on Sunday evening after staying with you since Friday evening. I hereby declare you super-woman! : ) And I am sure the idlis come out soft and fluffy too. : )

    You need a break. Just leave all of them at home and go out. Without cloning yourself, and without doing everything and leaving million instructions. Just disappear for a few hours. Go meet Santa, or go shopping. Or, La La Land has Ryan Gosling looking quite attractive for a solo afternoon at the movies (where you are required by law to not answer your cell phone).
     
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  2. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Oh yea?? if brothers who are related by blood cant convey such a thing, then why do we expect OP to tell co-sis to get ready to work. The brothers just want to relax and maintain their good nature when OP is struggling. So, until OP blows up one day and the relations are damaged for good, this will stop and oh, then everyone will point out OP for the cold war and blame her for "petty'ness"
     
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  3. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Silver IL'ite

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    thank you KashmirFlower, my husband helps, not in full fledged cooking or cleaning... Reading all the responses, yes I totally understand that i have to definitely cut down but was wondering how to start or implement.

     
  4. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Silver IL'ite

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    Rihana,
    Since she is pregnant and have not purchased the Grinder yet ( ofcourse, i heard that they did purchase so many during thank giving but not the essential one, so decided to cut that off eventually), i thought it would be nice to give them, so that they can use it for Idli or dosai..
     
  5. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Silver IL'ite

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    this is exactly what my friend is telling too..if you keep doing this, once the baby is born, they are come visit you, handover the baby and she is going to go rest...
     
  6. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Silver IL'ite

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    We don't invite them, they invite themselves which is kind of really annoying to me..I was not able to temple ( on imp days liek Diwali, kathigai deepam yesterday) which i usually go because either they were sleeping and my husband says its ok, just skip it...or i lose my energy to get ready and go by end of the day..

    As most of you mentioned, after all happend this weekend, i am not goign to make any batter at all when tehy come..will have cereal or whatever we have...
     
  7. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Silver IL'ite

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    You are perfectly, i allowed everything on myself...thats perfectly true...the problem is i have/had enough trouble or problem wiht my inlaws and ofcrs BIL too..he is elder to me by 2 yrs but have hurt a lot using his words and actions...just to have a cordial relationship, i tried my best to forget and forgive and treat them like a normal ppl..
    Sometimes, i keep quiet or vent within myself and not being able to stand up just fearing of any problems in future or having trouble wiht my husband. Ofcours my husband feels bad for myself but will not say or talk anything to his brother about this as if that happens, I will be in trouble...my inlaws and BIL will say, i taught him something to go against his brother..
     
  8. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Silver IL'ite

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  9. Trustcarelove

    Trustcarelove Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you all for your valuable suggestions. I will take all input and do accordingly during their next visit. They would have gotten some hint or who knows this may create a problem too ( telling my MIL and she grudges on me for this) as I didn't give any food or batter when they left this morning...
     
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  10. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,You need to get a grip on yourself. Really not having a grinder is no excuse for taking batters. I know you offered but you are not superwoman. Your co sister and BIL shud be ashamed of themselves. You said your BIL and your relationship was a bit troubled in past thanks to him.Inspite of all this, if husband- wife duo come over,that only implies they think you don't have anything better to do and their time is valuable . In other words , they need relaxation and you don't.

    You can subtly do all measures to stop this weekend visits. Feign some backache and go get massage done and order takeout. Next enroll kids in some classes and take your own time dropping and picking them up.If your MIL comes up with complaints tell her what your co sis did . If she says she is preg , tell her you are working too and need rest on weekends. Better be a bad DIL then be good and slave away .Good Luck.
     
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