problem with my in law

umaramki · May 3, 2010

hi friends
my DH returned after 3 months from bombay and plan to go abroad. but he always stay with my SIL home. he never come to my house and saw me and my 10 months daughter. i am stayed with my parents wen he likes to met me he call me and we went nearer town we met. he doesnt come our parents house. he not ready to come there.he had a plan to arrange sepate house before come back but he never arrange separated house. i said him to arrange he said searching house so plz wait until search a house or otherwise come back 6 months from abroad we compulsory in separate home. and he always said to me make a separate home for us in the time he return abroad. but now he always stay with his sister home not even to met his mother also.but my SIL not even said a single word to stay with ur wife and child.

how can i resolve this situtation

help me

sudhara · May 3, 2010

umaramki said: ↑

hi friends
my DH returned after 3 months from bombay and plan to go abroad. but he always stay with my SIL home. he never come to my house and saw me and my 10 months daughter. i am stayed with my parents wen he likes to met me he call me and we went nearer town we met. he doesnt come our parents house. he not ready to come there.he had a plan to arrange sepate house before come back but he never arrange separated house. i said him to arrange he said searching house so plz wait until search a house or otherwise come back 6 months from abroad we compulsory in separate home. and he always said to me make a separate home for us in the time he return abroad. but now he always stay with his sister home not even to met his mother also.but my SIL not even said a single word to stay with ur wife and child.

how can i resolve this situtation

help me
Click to expand...

HI Uma,
Hmm, it's too tricky and delicate a situation. Did you try talking to him on the first place. I feel you should take some initiative in this respect. Call him up and talk to him about his recent trip or try inviting him for lunch at your place, cook your special dish or his (preferably). It's strange that he did not come to see his child. how strange for a father to be like this. But he seems to be forthcoming to take you out or meet up outside so it's not that he is trying to avoid you totally, May be he feels delicate to drop in at his in-law's place. some men are like this. Let your parents invite him for lunch with you guys. that will be a good occasion where he can spend time with you and his daughter. But why is that he stays only at your SIL's home? Any issues between you guys that have to be looked into and sorted out? Ego should not play a vital role between parents. it's ok if you are just man and wife but when that comes to parenthood, there should be a consensus in whatever you do. As I mentioned earlier, take an initiative or try talking to the elders in your family who can resolve this matter amicably.
all the best.
sudhara

arthidiva · May 3, 2010

Uma, I understand from your post that -

1. you and your child are in your mom's house.. maybe you went for delivery and havent returned to your DH's place..
2. your DH stays at his sister's place in the same town as you are in.
3. your DH is uncomfortable to stay at your parents house.
4. DH doesnt visit his mother.
5. DH is due for an abroad trip in pipeline. so after coming back, you will take a house and live seperately.
6. SIL didnt advice your DH to live with wife and child..

give us a little background, like -
1. did you and DH or your families have any misunderstandings/ problems?
2. why is he not coming to your parents house?
3. why are you meeting in nearer town and not the same town where you live?
4. why is he not meeting his mother?

only if these are clear, can we even understand what problem we have in hand other than DH not living with DW and DD.

umaramki · May 4, 2010

arthidiva said: ↑

Uma, I understand from your post that -

1. you and your child are in your mom's house.. maybe you went for delivery and havent returned to your DH's place..
2. your DH stays at his sister's place in the same town as you are in.
3. your DH is uncomfortable to stay at your parents house.
4. DH doesnt visit his mother.
5. DH is due for an abroad trip in pipeline. so after coming back, you will take a house and live seperately.
6. SIL didnt advice your DH to live with wife and child..

give us a little background, like -
1. did you and DH or your families have any misunderstandings/ problems?
2. why is he not coming to your parents house?
3. why are you meeting in nearer town and not the same town where you live?
4. why is he not meeting his mother?

only if these are clear, can we even understand what problem we have in hand other than DH not living with DW and DD.
Click to expand...

1. s my SIL and me also have some misunderstandings
2. till now he doesnt went to saw his mother thats y he doesnt come with my parents home. avoid scoding of my MIL.
3. he asked me to take a child to his Sister house and play with her take care of the child well.he feel our child like to grow her sister house.
4. on that nearer town we have some work in govn office.
my native is village wer my SIL house placed in city.
5. wen i call him to my parent house he said i didnt have bike so i cant come there in this way he avoid to come.
he is not having interest to met his mother.
wen he start journey from bombay he speek with me lovely and inform me only come to saw me and my child. even he went SIL home at the time only they know to his arrival. but in stay here thatis SIL house he behave like this. he met my father in town he speak friendly but he didnt like to come my home.