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Problem with Husbands behaviour

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by anonymous007, Feb 3, 2011.

  1. anonymous007

    anonymous007 New IL'ite

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    Hi

    My husband , these days is really threatening me that he would cancel my h4 visa papers. This happens each time when ever his family comes to us. How much I take care of his family he is never satisfied. He says he would write a letter to consulate to cancel my visa and my parent's visit visa n all crap. I do not know sometimes his behavior n all. Is it really possible to write letter to consulate etc.?

    Also my husband behaves strange sometimes raise his hand and just yell at me to go bak to india and things like that talks so cheaply in front of his family members as well. Is there anything that I can do to protect myself here in usa? any safety tips like who to inform etc.? suddenly he tells me to get out of the house and i do not know what to do at times.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2011
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  2. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    "A person cannot simply write a letter to the consulate to cancel the H-4 visa or petition as long as the marriage relationship lasts. When the marriage is dissolved by a divorce, then the law requires that the H-4 dependent spouse be no longer eligible for H-4 status. As long as the principal is on H1B status, the spouse is entitled by law to obtain H-4 status. "
    This is from a lawyer.
    He needs to prove that he is no longer married to u or at the very least divorce proceedings have started.
     
  3. anonymous007

    anonymous007 New IL'ite

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    Thanks so much for your words, this means a lot to me. Also my husband behaves strange sometimes raise his hand and just yell at me to go bak to india and things like that talks so cheaply in front of his family members as well. Is there anything that I can do to protect myself here in usa? any safety tips like who to inform etc.? suddenly he tells me to get out of the house and i do not know what to do at times.
     
  4. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    how long have you been married and any kids? A lot depends on what kind of abuse you are going through. Emotional abuse is harder to prove than physical abuse. So, I guess you cant call 911 etc in case of verbal abuse.
     
  5. anonymous007

    anonymous007 New IL'ite

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    It has been close to three years , I have no kids. Yes that is the problem emotional abuse cannot be proved
     
  6. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    Hi
    I am not sure which state u are in but it does not matter. Physically hitting u and or threatening to ask u to leave the house is a form of abuse. Try to google for organisations in ur area which offer support and also help for women in such abusive relationships. If he ever hits u call 911 as soon as u can. The cops will drill some sense into his head. Domestic violence is considered a felony in quite a few states eg CA. Tell him that calmly. If he ever touches u again and u call cops and he gets arrested and convicted his H1 life is going to be one long miserable story. Even if he is not convicted each time he goes for stamping he will wish he never laid a finger on u.

    U are on a dependant spousal visa . Try to look for a job and see if they can sponsor some H1 for you. Try to gain some sort of financial independence. Unfortunately thats the only way.
     
  7. saathi

    saathi New IL'ite

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    I read all the posts and I feel that you should speak up.

    The main problem here is the fact that he is saying these things and you are tolerating it.

    he says these things in front of his family members and you listen!

    It does not matter whether you are on H4 or H1 or a citizen, this is not the way to talk to the wife.
    Please talk to your DH and try to solve the real problem.

    One last comment --- dont feel threatned by what he says. If he really wanted to do it, he would have done it by now. You have been married for 3 years!
     
  8. babycorn

    babycorn Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    what about his family members?Are they simply listening?I wonder why all the inlaws are like this.WTH did they marry their son?

    He cannot do anything with the consulate.It will affect him too.

    why is he behaving like this?what is provoking him?
     
  9. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Husband is threatening

    Hi OP,

    Just tell him you can call 911 to report this kind of abuse. And if it gets reported he will be the one in trouble, Not you. ALso tell him you are not worried about your status here, You don't have anything to loose. But if you call police or involve his employer , He has everything to loose.

    Be strong.
     
  10. anonymous007

    anonymous007 New IL'ite

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    Strange Behaviour of my husband

    Hi All,

    I have already posted on husband threatening, I also want to tell one thing which I dont understand why my hubby is doing like this and what his intentions are about me and my relationship. He never comes to me and sleeps away from me it is really frustrating for me to take that. I sometimes do not even feel like iam a wife anymore. I do not know why he is not interested in me at all. I hope you girls understand what iam talking about.

    I cook for him and take care but whenever his family comes some or the other thing happens and he doesnt talk for like months to gether. In general also he is like touch me not types with me. I don't know how he can do this to me.

    What iam thinking is he wants me to get frustrated and leave him so he will be free or else why the heck he doesnt even behave like husband. I ask him we will plan for kids he doesnt even like the topic to be discussed at all. sometimes he talks as if we will plan next year but i mean he doesnt even come to me and want to be like distance from me. One thing with his work is he gets god damn tired and just sleep but everyday, each weekend ? what could be the reason for all this? iam confused and don't know what to do. how long do I need to be like this . Iam wife to him only when comes to cooking , calling his family or taking care.

    I hope you girls understand what exactly iam trying to express.
     

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