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Problem with hubby's career.. advise needed please

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Udasgirl, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. Udasgirl

    Udasgirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Girls...

    I hv been married for almost 7 years and hv 1.5 years old lil boy... I am really in shock and upset today.. we live in foreign country, both professionaly qualified.. my hubby lost his job yesterday.. he was working with very big international company (this employer since almost 3.5 years). His performance was ok but this year they want to lay off people due to project closure etc so they gave him below averag ranking and laid off suddenly on grounbd of restructuring... I know this is not very big problem but this is also not first time happening with him... he is been laid off few times previously.. He appears to be intelligent (definately not below average at least) and he has professional qualification (no one gets it just like that) but for some or the other reason he always faces problems at workplace (never get supportive bosses) we ask our jyotishi and he said it is because his rahudasha that will last for almost another 11 years he is facing these problems as rahu is contradicting the sthan opf performance appraisal.. ... He is good human being (we had issues intially as ours was arranged marriage but got sorted eventually.. had gone through some tough times but its all ok now)... but this uncertainity re his job is always comes hounting us... I am also working and money is not issue so far... I want an advice as to -
    how should i behave in such situation ? should i support hubby or not ?
    I wa quite upset yesterday and had little fight with him.. he was already disppointed.. he is looking for another job but i m afraid he will loose new job again...The environment in house is becoming so negative... I dont know how to deal with this... we are trying to go to other country wheer we are better suit (work culture wise etc) but no success to hubby's effeorts... The problem is that he tries and gets good jobs but unable to retain it for long time (some or other problem happens and he loosses the job) he never stops trying though and tries his best at workplace... Do you think he is a looser or has any flaws ? Please guide me as to how to handle this situation please i m very very upset..Not sure when and how our life will get better and only if it will........
     
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  2. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Sorry to hear loss of DH's job. The good part is that he is trying and is able to get good jobs which in itself is a great thing in today's economy.

    I think he needs your full support now and you need to keep calm and not fight with him.

    I think he should reevaluate himself and find out what areas within his field suits him more. I had a colleague who was not good at programming, she moved to customer support and excel in that position. So he needs to review his strengths, his interest and then maybe move in area of work where he is more comfortable.

    Rahu mahadasha is not bad, it brings in transformation and changes. It lasts for 18 years. However, unlike shani, the changes are sudden and abrupt and has the potential to take the individual to new highs. How do I know this? My Rahu mahadasha started last year and already seeing the effects.

    If he believes in stars, maybe he should recite the navgraha sloka 18 times a day (even one is better than nothing). It is easy to memorize. There is audio version on the web as well from Bala Subramanium.

    http://www.shrimandir.com/Downloads...vagraha Stotram and Rudrastakam (english).pdf

    In addition, ask him to do Aditya Hridayam .
    http://www.dattapeetham.com/india/ashrama_prayers/aditya_english.pdf

    both of these will calm him and give him confidence.

    Best Luck
     
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  3. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, first of all hugs to you and stay calm. Your husband needs your support more than ever now.

    No, he is not a loser-please take that thought away from your mind. You say that he is professionally qualified and lands good jobs. This means that he is marketable and is able to command good posts. And the most important thing as I see it is that you say he tries his best at the workplace. This is half the problem solved. It means that he is a fighter and does not let all this pull him down.

    That said, you need to provide 100% support at times like this, to ensure that he does not get frustrated or depressed. Losing a job, that too repeatedly, can be a big blow to anyone who is serious about career. He is bound to be vulnerable and you need to make sure you do not fight or do anything that makes him become more negative.

    Not saying that the onus is completely on you, but your attitude now can be one of the make or break factors to his general mood and outlook. To understand how you can support him, try to put yourself in his shoes. If you had lost your job, would you not want your H to give you a hug and say "Don't worry dear, I am still earning and so we are okay for now. Take your time and let us make efforts to find a good job. First relax, watch a movie or let us go out somewhere."

    You are luckier than those whose families have a single breadwinner. At least you do not have the financial part to worry about. Be positive and take care.

    FTR
    I am not an expert on astrology but I have heard that Rahu mahadasha is not always bad. It is said to take the native to foreign countries and I have heard that many people have risen in profession and personal lives during this mahadasha. Please do not confuse yourself. My mom used to say that Devi is to be worshipped during Rahu dasha to alleviate the sufferings.

    Just mentioned whatever I know on this.
    Take care and hugs!
     
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  4. Udasgirl

    Udasgirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks to both of you ladies for your quick reply... I will speak to my hubby about navagraha stotra I think he already have one and reciting it... Yes Our jyotishi told us that rahu mahadasha is not always bad however it depends upon which house rahu is sitting in your patrika i guess.. unfortunately with my hubby it is contradicting with his performance appraisal so he faces problems with seniors or bosses as it is mostly in hands of them to evaluate you.... He faces these obstacles always and had faced them in past.. sometime the opportunity which he had almost got suddenly goes away.. like he had interview in one of middleeast countries and employer was good + good salary package - interview went well - he also traveled and visited them for face to face.. they liked him very much interested but later on it got dragged and their HR even if they were happy with him had to reject his case on very stupid reason that he had external graduation degree (as per thier rules) in spite of him having 2 higher professional degrees how does graduate degree matters ?? we were almost ready that time to move to this place but suddenly scenario changed and in spite of everyone (including his prospective employer) trying to bring him on board, he got rejected.... so sad...... Now i m loosing faith that something good will happen to us ever... sometime i feel my life is ruined with him.. due to his unstable carrier I have to suffer and might suffer in future... Is this right way to think ? am i been selfish and not valuing our relationship.... Would you think this way of you were in my place... ? once again thanks a lot for replying... :) I need to talk and express myself otherwise i will go mad...and thanks for listening to me
     
  5. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    OP I understand your situation. Just calm down. No one has a steady life. Everyone has some issues or the other. Please read my snippet
    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/snippets-of-life-non-fiction/260981-in-pursuit-of-happiness.html

    The relationship with superiors, elders, father is defined by Sun and not Rahu. So this is the reason, i recommended Aditya Hridayam.

    Jab tak jeevan hai sangharsh hai, jab jeevan nahi sangharsh nahi. - HarvanshRai Bacchan. (Until there is life, there is struggle, when no life, there is no struggle).

    Always count on your blessings dear. We can't always have everything we want, but we always have something that others don't have.

    It is always tough situation to see consistent failures but i have seen many examples where people have risen from their failures. Just like good phase do not last long, bad phase also do not last long.

    Cheer up. Go out on a weekend at some beautiful place to rewind yourself and your husband.
     
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  6. anjananathan

    anjananathan Platinum IL'ite

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    I wont think this way if I were in your place.. would support my DH wherever possible and help him in solving the issue..

    In your DH case, he tries and does his best and finds another job as well. This attitude will solve half of the problem.. ask him to be calm and find out the root cause for this happening again and again.. then solve the issue..

    If you believe in astrology, then the problem you face is not based on his chart.. it is based on your chart.. if you have to suffer something, then you will go thru it even if married to some one else.. don't take me wrong but this is truth.. once you accept this, you will work as a team in solving the issue and not think this way..

    If rahu is the issue, Pray goddess devi and lit diya in temple on Fridays if possible.. or do it at home if you don't have time..

    Don't worry.. this too shall pass..
     
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  7. Udasgirl

    Udasgirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot Akanksha .. I read your write up - It's very encouraging and funny too :) You brought smile on my face... (was so sad since morning)...
    I will let hubby know abt Aditya Hridayam...
    Just now I spoke with hubby and he said he tried to get some breathing space from his employer yesterday and said to them that he will resign around Jan that will benefit him (some time to look for other jobs) + company (as there will be lot of pressure on team after he left as already 2 people were made redundant), even though the company had option to accept his proposal, they did not and ask him to leave same day.... I cant imagine how bad and insulting he would have felt then... (I could hear it from his voice on phone when he told me this today).... I just told him " dont worry - If they dont want you, let them go to hell, there is something else better waiting for you..." I wish he would become sucessful one day (poor guy has many qualities.... but luck is not favoring him at all).. BTW he has one interview on monday with one of the middleeast companies.... Girls please please pray for us.......
     
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  8. Udasgirl

    Udasgirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks anjana for your reply...
    Yes you are correct, The onus of my problem and worry is on me and not on my husband...(Thanks for saying this...someone was needed to say that to me)

    We lit diya everyday at home in evening.. but will try to do some more prarthana to Godess Devi :)
    Thanks for your words ...
     
  9. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Poor guy has lost his job. You support him, instead of sheer nonsense of "loser", "ruined my life with him" etc. Basically in one sentence - Stop being a Drama Queen. Instead, be supportive. (Even though my post may get a 'dislike' from you - see the content of it).
     
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  10. Udasgirl

    Udasgirl Bronze IL'ite

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    No I would not dislike but I sometime think "is he really capable and good at work' as this has happened with him several times before (been laid off for some or other reason).... No way to find out how he is at work though .. I can only ask him and he showed me his performance appraisal last year and it was up to the mark so not sure how come suddenly they have given him not so good ranking and put him on performance improvement plan and laid off quickly.. he said, they targeted him as they want to reduce workforce like same they did with few others... but does co incidence happens so many times... rahu mahadasha or whatever but is it wrong to doubt your near once (I have not told him this, just saying here to you ladies) if something consistently going wrong ? Have you heard of such people who keep trying but mostly did not get what they wanted/loose it ?.....
     

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