Problamatic Relatives

Swethasri · Feb 16, 2011

Hello Ladies,
I hope u all understand what iam going to write here from the topic.Are relatives are really a problamatic for husband and wife relationship??iam asking abt both the sides like girls father side and mother side.also husbands father side and mother side.for myself,i had a big problem becoz of my mother side relative.since lot of mistakes i did,i realized it and at one point they started interfering a lot and dominated a lot.becoz of that me and my husband had a major misunderstanding and atlast i ditched all my relatives including my parents and now living peacefully with my husband.i cant say peacefully becoz i have a special child but not with others domination and interference.

Anyother IL's has the same or similar experience,pls share,so that will gain some good knowledge and how to overcome this lose.

thanks

sitara1 · Feb 16, 2011

Swethasri said: ↑

Are relatives are really a problamatic for husband and wife relationship??
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Swethasri, we cant generalize saying relatives are bad for a married couple. Every person, inc. you, is a relative to someone.

In most cases, in-laws are problematic to a married couple because either the couple live with the in-laws 24x7 or live far away but MIL remote controls the H thus affecting the couple.

But in your case, you say your relatives were problematic. Do you live with your relatives? Did your or your H let your relatives remote control you?

If you can be more specific about your problem, maybe that will help ILites to answer better.

billybob · Feb 16, 2011

Our own parents can also remote control our lives these days. More than my FIL my mother remote controlled our life.

Swethasri · Feb 16, 2011

Thanks for your first reply Sita.its like,i initially didnt understand my husband properly in our early marriage days.so there starts the problem.he has some policies which is right but at that time i was unable to judge people and that too when i came to a different state after marriage,whatever my parents side says my husband was disagreed.becoz he had lot of arguements with my maternal uncle,my husband didnt like him.but in our family(not now) he is very important person,but unfortunately i got confused with everything and whatever my DH say i started disagreed and that uncle starts taking control over it and my DH was totally disagreed.so now after 5 yrs i agreed to my husband and kicked all relatives inclusive of my parents.the beauty is my parents also dont want to support us.But i agree there are lot of things which i could have avoided but unfortunately at that time i was unable to do anything.but now i realised many things from my parents behaviour that they are ready to loose their own children for their own selfishness.Thank GOD HE saved me from that family.

I dont live with any of my relatives.main thing is interference.thats the thing affected our married life.

Swethasri · Feb 16, 2011

billybob,u said a right word remote control.thanks for u r words.lets wait for other ILs comment.

Swethasri · Feb 27, 2011

Iam happy that very less people have problematic relatives.Good for u all.

sitara1 · Feb 27, 2011

Swethasri said: ↑

but now i realised many things from my parents behaviour that they are ready to loose their own children for their own selfishness.
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This is sad, but true. When you realize that your rel'ship with your parents is weak, instead of worrying over it, its best to concentrate on your other rel'ships, like your H, and make them strong enough to compensate your weak rel'ship with your parents.