Pressure to start a family!

Now that calls for a more stronger push back from your side. I can understand some soft guidance from the parents side but military camp like rules are a NO..NO.

Your husband should plainly say 'My WIFE and I have decided to NOT have kids for 2 or 3 years. End of conversation...'.

 

my excuse was 'Economy is bad and they are laying of people in our company, I have to work and concentrate on job or else they will kick me out' . 'Money is tight' , 'babies are costly', 'we need to save for baby first, can't bring one now when we are not stable ourseleves ' etc .. i understand parents but what is with the relatives and neighbours expecting baby news... Don't they have their own babies to make..

 

EPL- smile, nod and IGNORE is the best way to go about it. To be asked poked waterboarded about kids after you get married is as natural as breathing.
And the issues with FIL , listen nod move on, once you are married it really imp to learn fake a fake facade.
If you do have time please go through some the threads here about women dealing with manipulative /opinionated PILs, it definitely will give you some insight. And as the other poster said time will definitely teach you.
As long as you and DH are on the same page, rest can be easily dealt with.

 

My two cents since yo are asking advice- you are a grown woman and your husband a grown man. Its about time you guys act like it. your FIL in your own words is "opinionated" but is it not time he back off his son's life and let him take care of his life? Not only did he make all decisions about the wedding etc, not he wants to get into your bedroom and micromanage there too.

OP- you can never please everyone. So untimately you (and your husband) will have to take a stand if you want to lead your life. Its about time your FIL start letting his son take charge of his life.

If he keeps pestering like RPVAIL said ask him to back off. Otherwise, since he is planning to give no privacy to your both once he is here, put the blame on him saying how will there be a baby if you dont give us any breathing space

 

Diva :hiya how's you.

Usually asking your PILs to back off or that matter any kinda reasoning with opinionated PILs only leads to more power struggle and bucket loadsa drama.
And esp if visiting India, it isn't easy to answer to every relative/friend that comes your way so it's easier to smile ignore and move on with life.

 

EatPrayLove , I know about the opinionated FIL since I have one too. Not just in his family, even if he marries a girl from his family into another family, he expected that the grooms family would listen to him.

You guys are young and you need to be mentally ready to have a kid and take care of it. This current generation is aware of all being emotional/financially ready before having a baby , but the earlier generation JUST had the baby (no thinking).

I know you dont want to hurt your FIL , but in the process you guys may get hurt. It may seem difficult to be forceful to explain to the elders that you want to have the baby later, but you dont have a choice. You need to be firm and tell them that you guys will have a baby when time is right.

Good Luck with the trip.

 

I wud suggest.. if they talk to you directly then mention.. ok we'll start thinking and acting over it but just give us sometime. We're open about it but don't want to turn into a project... wud prefer if its a surprise.

Both of you've already fallen for your parents pressure to get married at 24,25 so they're expecting the baby shud be coming anytime soon and in another 2-3 yrs next baby... its endless..

You might be blaming ONLY your FIL... but are you sure he's not just a loud speaker with feeds from his wife? My PILs had offered for a divorce for no child at 3rd anniv... only to me... but to their son they wud say... its ok ppl have kids even much later in life... no issues.... we also had common consensus on when and how to have .. but some PILs are simply too slimy to leave their son and DIL confused.

Also pls never ever mention to PILs that you want to spend more time tog or understand each other better... cos thats what not most of them want.. super strengthening of marital relationship... .they want lady to get busy with child ... conflicts on parenting stress..... son back to them... DIL not getting used to extended PRICESS treatment, career , finance and freedom........... lastly on their mind is deformity if kids come at later age.... They're mostly looking for a small child to give a company to their aging process... cos finally the work and responsibilities are on the child's immediate parents.