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Prenup Agreement Before Wedding

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mohini16, Feb 23, 2020.

  1. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    OK.. if you had said that in this thread anywhere, I must have missed that.
    Take that birth-certificate with you to a divorce lawyer. And any other documents on the Hindu marriage -- invitation, photo album, letters, anything at all. Tell her your story, and she will advice you on your standing for filing a divorce in a Canadian court. Do it pronto.

    And if there had been any payments from your provincial government (single parent support payments), bring the details of those to the lawyer as well. AFAIK, these would all be just fine, as you had always been a de facto single mom, and in doubt about the legitimacy of your religious marriage. Ask the lawyer whatever questions you have on this matter as well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2020
    kavya007, Laks09 and mohini16 like this.
  2. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

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    @Amulet ,
    I Love You for throwing light and showing me right direction , i had just assumed since i am "Single" on paper in Canada , i will just get married here with whoever i want to ,
    I will straighten this mess completely now in India and Canada both . I believe I might need to involve International Family lawyer because even if Canadian Court gives me divorce and Sole Custody of baby(which i already have since birth) , I am not sure Canadian Divorce Decree and Sole Custody of Baby will be valid in India ...
    what tomorrow if i goto india and this ex guy brings order from Indian Court and Indian Court doesn't accept my sole custody order from Canadian court,

    Canada is not member of "Hague Convention" so I dont know if my child gets in custody trouble in India even after canadian court order , then how would "Canadian Sole Custodial Order and Divorce Decree" will help ,
    Dont know how "Canadian Court" and "Indian Court" share information and accept each other's decision regarding divorce and child custody matter.
     
  3. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    FYI, i just read a part of this long threads. Just a suggestion, looks like you have a lot of actual paper work/ legal to clear before even getting close to any other adult . And you are contemplating the idea of Prenup and marriage, i feel this is too immature. i guess, it is too early to consider another relationship before you clear your current issues.

    also prenup in my opinion, is not a thing to consider initially in case of 2nd marriage. i would rather spend couple of weeks or months, getting to know the person before even commitment. what happens if you do get a prenup and live in sad depressed/ with no emotion or physical intimacy marriage for next 20 years.

    can't put a number to everything.
     
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  4. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    Your marriage pictures and dna test will be enough to prove who is the father . He is not a sperm donor . You have to clear this legally . It may take time but it should give you peace of mind in long run . Just because you told your status as single it is not the truth . There are evidences to show he is your legal husband . There is proof that he is father of your kid . You need to get divorce document signed by him . You need to involve the families to end this marriage . Seek help from Indian lawyers .
     
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  5. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    You say that you and your child are Canadians. You must focus on fixing your civil status IN Canada -- as quickly, and cost-effectively as possible. With one of your own provincial family law practice, and court. Once you have a court documented civil status in Canada, you can avail (see link below) consular services that are available.

    Delaying that, speculations on multi-country complications, looking for an international family law firm, handwringing, lamenting etc.. are all wasted efforts.

    If you cannot avoid travel to unsafe locations of the world, or India where you speculate that you and/or your child may be held back, you must learn what consular services are available before you go.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2020
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  6. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    This is true. .
    All marriages MUST be registered as per law passed in 2014. But not registering wont make a marriage null automatically.
    If you do not clear the previous issues your H ( ex-H) will still have all rights to come back to you or the child. This is legally serious issue and personally serious issue. There is also a chance that the new marriage could become void ( as previous one is not divorced legally).Sort the past and start with clarity. Hire good lawyers. Prenup is not the priority now.

    You already seem to be considering sorting out your existing marriage ( he is still your H) and then proceed.. so all the best. This will be a safe bet.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2020
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  7. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    In countries where a court-assisted legal divorce is possible, there is such a thing as "ex parte" divorce. Only one of the parties need to be present for the court to adjudicate and dissolve the marriage. There is no need for a document signed by the other party to the marriage. Canadian courts provide for such a relief to their applicants.

    As for "involving the families" -- obviously opinions would vary. Let us have a romping discussion on that; never mind the OP, and the prenup. In my opinion, involving the families was the cause to the current misery. Involving the families is often a necessary (& traditional ) torment to the woman when marriages happen. It is a circus with lots of (adjectives deleted) participants, who were supposed to be spectators. Divorce need not be so; it can be a more dignified affair with the aggrieved party getting a private consolation.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
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  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Please do yourself a favor, don't go ahead with it. You will save yourself a big headache.
     
  9. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    He won't adopt her child, but he can ask for down payment for the house, something is not right here.
     
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  10. sandhya2020

    sandhya2020 Bronze IL'ite

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    I am sorry you are going through so much,
    But this guy is screaming red flags -
    • This guy hasn't even met you yet , and he already planning for divorce(prenup),
    • and he is already asking that u have to help him to buy house.Instead of getting to know you better, he is more concerned about planning finances
    • He even abandoned his own infant.
    I mean what do you see in him- is he even worth considering? Just move on.

    And please get your legal matters sorted urgently. I know it is scary for you, but please try to get a good lawyer and get a proper divorce . I can understand how hard it is for some women to escape abusers. But always follow the legal route in life. Otherwise it will affect your entire life and second marriage to anyone will be void.

    Hmm, see when you interact with such transactional, calculative people, you also end up thinking in those terms. But marriage is about love, commitment , sacrifice and compromise for each other. That's why you must avoid such excessively practical people who dont know value of life partner.
    And just because women's work at home is unpaid/unrecognised, they dont consider it work at all (cooking, cleaning, child care, elderly care). Please avoid this kind of people, to get back your clarity and judgement, Please choose life partner wisely and not on monetary/earnings considerations. Life has many ups and downs. Tomorrow husband can lose job or have serious illness and that time you will have to be there for each other and make sacrifices. Marriage will last only if it is based on genuine liking for each other.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
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