pregnant women not seeing or meeting other pregnant women in tamilnadu culture

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by Simip, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. Simip

    Simip New IL'ite

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    hi all,

    Its very strange am posting this question. But I am married to a Tamilian am a mallu.......My brother in laws wife just got pregnant (3 mths) and am 6 mths pregnant now...am told by my inlaws that pregnant women in same family dont meet each other for any of the 7th or 9th month functions when I asked him why like this culture he said on account of comparison with each other....I still cant fathom or understand this. So am asking if anybody is from Tamilnadu to explain me why one pregnant women cant meet other pregnant women from same family when its a happy occasion for both families....and why its not taken positively to meet or see eachother...whats the harm??...Is it a belief thing or plain superstition which people have created??
     
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  2. Subhaganesh

    Subhaganesh Gold IL'ite

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    i am from tamil family....
    but we don't follow this...
    may be some community may follow this.....
    have u asked ur PIL?
     
  3. Jaynav

    Jaynav Bronze IL'ite

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    The fact is true.But not sure about the exact reason
     
  4. hianusuya

    hianusuya Junior IL'ite

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    Me to heard about this.But not like they should not see each other.But they shoul not stay in same house.
    Pregnant ladies should treat properly.In one house if they cannot take care of two pregnant person,then it is a problem.
     
  5. anurar20

    anurar20 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes even me and my sil are pregnant but for her 7th month function i was not allowed to see her first when they do only some rituals after that i met her dont know the exact reason may be because when they do some rituals to take negative powers that will effect on other pregnant lady fast.

    If you see when they take dristi they say dont come in front because baby in the womb will be affected. may be because of that.

     
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  6. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi there,

    I am a Tamilian. But have never heard about any such thing. But yes, maybe it differs from community to community. It might have valid reasons that the elders aren't exactly aware of. But they might choose to follow it nevertheless cos its for the good of the ladies.
    I am from a large family and we kids were born in batches of tree or two at times. So there were bound to be at least 2 pregnant women in the house at a time. When I was born, it was three. More the merrier. Isn't it?? :-D
     
  7. Huma

    Huma Silver IL'ite

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    Hi i heard also when three women in the same family are pregnant something bad will happen. Just superstition i think. Anyway enjoy your pregnancy.
     
  8. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Simip,

    I spoke to my mom and found this. Like you said, it must be about comparisons. Two girl, two families and two very different situations. Its as simple as that. In those days when there were functions such as these at home, not everyone could afford expensive gifts. When there are two women in one family pregnant, their own families might have their own budgets and ideas for gifts. When the girls meet, they might start comparing who has what and what not. That makes one happy, if she has more than the other, and the other obviously is sad. To avoid this, they'd not let them meet. Usually after the function is over, they go away to their respective moms' place and don't meet until a while by which time they forget about the rest. This could have worked in those days, but its simply a superstition now.

    These days, I guess, once the function is over, either the video or the phone calls convey every detail. Besides people have grown to understand these differences and have also learned to ignore them. My mom was the last of 5 daughters in law and when she was pregnant, so were two other daughters in law. We cousins were all born 2 months apart. Thankfully my Granny was skilled enough to love and take care of all three equally and at the same time and make sure there are no shortfalls anywhere.

    hianusuya said more than two pregnancies might be a problem. That is when any of these two start off with who's family is better and who's is not. Imagine, if not the girls, the relatives might. As long as that is managed, there is usually no reason to worry.

    But can't ask the elders to stop doing it either..right?
     
  9. Friend2011

    Friend2011 Silver IL'ite

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    I am tamil. The region where I was born and brought up, SIL (Nathanar) and brothers wife (Anni) must not see each other or come infront till delivery if both are pregnant at the same time. If both see each other there is a fear that one will loose their baby. Till date my mom blames my aunt for loosing her elder daughter since her SIL came infront of her (when both of them were pregnant).

    I never asked my mom the reason nor in a position to ask now.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2012

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