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Pregnant Wife suggesting to reject Dream Job Offer of Husband !!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by dhruva19, Sep 2, 2013.

  1. dhruva19

    dhruva19 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear All,

    I have a dilemma situation regarding my new Job Offer v/s Wife's pregnancy !!. My Wife[Home and Life maker :)] is now 3 months carrying with our second planned kid. First kid is 8 years. We are very much Happily married for a decade I believe so.

    Now is the issue. We were in Chennai for 2.5 years till date as I was working there. I first got a job offer in Bangalore around June 2013 in a Indian IT Consulting major. So I moved my family[wife and kid] to Bangalore so that my son will start his school. My plan was to join them in September as my current job has 3 months notice. In the meanwhile I also received a Dream job Offer in Mumbai which is way better in all perspectives. It is better paying 50% more than the Bangalore one[believe me the diff is a lot of money]. It is in a better company[AMERICAN] with long term career growth prospects etc etc. Job Security is 10 times better in the Mumbai job when compared to Bangalore Job.

    Now my Wife, since she has already settled in Bangalore since last 3 months has no interest in the Mumbai Job Offer. She believes she will need me during her pregnancy as my wife's mom is no more. My mom is now with us in Bangalore, but you all know how a typical Indian MIL usually treats her DIL. So my mom is guilty of all such behavior.

    I am totally confused as I want to focus on my Career to make more money, take care of the increased expenses of the bigger family etc. Whenever I bring this topic with her, she either shows no interest or abruptly tells me if you want to go you go, I will come only next year after the new Baby is 3 months old. All my wife's family members think my new Bangalore job is best for whatever reason i don't really get.

    I have to make up my mind pretty shortly but kind of stressed out !! At home we can get two permanent maids, my mom who could just oversee my Wife and son. But I am feeling guilty to leave them and go to Mumbai alone even though i can visit my family once in a fortnight till next year june. !!

    What could be the RIGHT decision which will help both me[i.e eventually whole FAMILY should benefit I believe ?] as well as my wife's ongoing pregnancy[i really don't mean my wife has to adjust alone :( ] ???????:confused2:
     
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  2. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    Why can't your family move in with you considering your wife is a home maker..???
     
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  3. dhruva19

    dhruva19 Senior IL'ite

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    We have already moved our first kid two schools in this academic year itself. paid fees in both schools so it is almost next to impossible to get admission for my son in mumbai this academic year. May be we are not thinking in this possibility seriously.
     
  4. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Time to pick up some vocabulary ... Check here
     
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  5. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Your wife may not be feeling her best right now but the job you are describing seems like you should take it. I think you are going to have to do the footwork of settling in Mumbai and then your wife can just fly there and move in with your child. Perhaps hire a tutor temporarily? You might also find out if she is irritated at you for bouncing her around or if she really hates Mumbai for some reason.
     
  6. cuteguy

    cuteguy Silver IL'ite

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    Take up Mumbai offer and keep coming to Bangalore to meet your mom and wife. Next year plan to shift whole family to Mumbai.

    Avoid wife tantrums. She has to manage her moods on her own. Just make sure your mom is helping her.

    Man biggest respect is his career. Focus on it. Dont let go Mumbai offer. A 50% increase/substantial increase in salary + other factors is hard to get.

    Your wife relatives are selfish and wants to keep you in Bangalore.
     
  7. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Is it at all a possibility to talk to the company and get the job defered by 8 months? You could try asking... Say it is for personal reasons. If they can, it solves a lot of your dilemma. If they can't you can go back to the drawing board...
     
  8. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    With the rupee in free-fall and the Indian economy on the tip of a full blown recession, I would suggest taking the job. Sometimes practical considerations must trump emotional ones. Keep your mom's behavior in check by repeatedly reminding her to be nice to your wife, and find as much domestic help for your wife as you can. Let her stay in Bangalore for the time being. Once you are settled in Mumbai, you can request her to move there with you, even if it is later in her pregnancy. She will need you more after the baby is born than now when she is carrying.
     
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  9. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    Take up the mumbai job... At this point in time..its like a blessing to get a god paid salary... tell ur wife the math , how much extra savings will come in....
     
  10. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Take up mumbai job for now, leave family in current city & son in current school.. finish his academic year, by then if u get better offer back to Blore... come back... else she can join you.

    Given the way you hop jobs... a new recruiter will be posting a vacancy for you by the time your 2nd child is born.
    Cheer and say yes to the the new offer... your wife is tired with preg hormones... and adjusting son to a new school in short spans.
     
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