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Praise Don't Curse For Your Own Good

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sunkan, May 24, 2007.

  1. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    Negative thoughts the culprit to many diseases:

    We inherit this quality of collecting the negative contributions of our parents, or may be we are made like that, when u think back in your memories, we seem to lack the better contributions of our grand parents, parents, siblings, friends and so on. There are many nostalgic memory in all of us, but come up in your mind only as nostalgic other wise you don’t remember them at all, which in fact should be cherished and shared more.

    A small request, why don’t you attend the function of the child’s poonal, suddenly varsha can say no ma, that aunt was so cruel to me during meena’s wedding. She was pointing that I am too dark for words and how I would get a groom, leave alone settle in life.

    Hey today is patti’s birthday come on lets go and join all, to varsha, and varsha says, no I don’t want to as it is I don’t keep well eating outside, that patti was so cruel in my young days always reprimanding for no cause of mine. Making me the scapegoat for all her anger over others. The same patti has done nice payasams and sweets for varsha, or has got her nice silk pavadai for the first reaching of puberty. All this is forgotten by her.

    Small little incidents if we could forget and forgive a lot of good things can happen, we don’t know actually why these things are done in the first place, come to think of it, if elders could think again and then decide a lot of factors like the above could be avoided, now come to think of it the same patti or the aunt will have more negative thoughts like this stored in their mind.

    If we all could be trained to think better, from the young, now you might say it is an enormous feat, still even now as young mothers u can give it a shot, not to speak the negatives, or add more positives while mentioning negatives, you not only avoid many diseases in the process, it is just like any other learning, we invariably end up saying something too trivial like, while feeding a baby, hey she is too wicked and might hit you, come on, finish up your dinner or some such things, leaving an impact of the negative quality in a child.

    One can easily gauge the reaction of children, when u visit some one, from the way the kids behave with you, if they were to be cautious, take it, with the thoughts of what the parents could had told about us for them to be so, but if they are very welcoming then you have made a very nice impression there. So these little observations, will show what we are doing to the generations to come. It is not the food, or lifestyle alone. We need to watch our small little nuances of expressions to get the children to think more positively, when we follow! I think we need not have the time to preach in the first place..

    Now coming to the negative thoughts and how they affect you, when you are alone, these collective thoughts can set a nice migraine, stomach ulcers, womb discharges, heart ache. The negatives thoughts churned give rise to the blood pressure, as you are helpless, and unable to settle things or move ahead, even meditation is interrupted because of your thoughts taking over. the baby in the womb also feels your discomfort and anger and comes out a very sensitive child who cannot bear any reprimanding We have these problems even with our spouse, where one need to intervene and tell them if they could talk about some one, any one for that matter about the better contributions and quality of a person. They may be at a loss initially but slowly you will be able to bring about a change.

    No amount of reading books or any advise reach your brain until u start praising instead of cursing….

    Regards sunkan
     
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  2. hasita

    hasita Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello sunkan,
    That was a very meaningful piece written! It is so true that we bring our own health down when you keep negative thoughts in your mind, and keep on thinking about them.

    It is necessary to think positively for our own good, and for those around us, esp. our children. We should try to put this into practise more often.

    I myself think negatively many a time, but realize that only i bring myself down and spoil my own mood when doing that.
    best,
    hasita
     
  3. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    I usually don't curse people and also advised my children not to do that, but I am not able to change the people around me. Many TV serials having a lot of them and use them frequently. This must be read by those who write those dialogues for the serials.
    This reminds me of the proverb which means" you reap what you sow". good habits reaps good results and vice-versa. ( every action has an equalent and opposite reaction). as you had mentioned we can prevent those negative feelings affecting ourselves and the people around us.(better late than never).
    So also" prevention is better than cure".
    Thanks for the good article.
    Sriniketan
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Sunkan,
    Please keep posting such articles. Its motivating, we all know all these but forget it when it is to be done practically, needs to recollect.
    bye
    padma
     
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  5. twinsmom

    twinsmom Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sakhi,
    It is exactly my sentiments... We can avoid a lot of unpleasantness in life by not bad-mouthing others all the time. Our kids who are always, watching us will soak up our attitudes...
    Nice and thought-provoking blog!
     
  6. kanaka Raghavan

    kanaka Raghavan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sunkan
    Nice post.My father always used to tell us however others are ,we can behave better than them.Just because they misbehaved,does not mean we have to be the same.The world is a better for us as well as others when we vibrate positive feelings.Most of us tend to forget this.Thanks for reminding.
     
  7. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sukan,
    Great post. Children remember comments that were passed better than we do. Older people also do not really mean what they say, they mean well. We should teach kids to respect older people. Unless taught at a very young age they will not imbibe that quality.
     
  8. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sunkan,

    Here you go:-( again another thought provoking and motivating post.

    Yes, i have experienced this myself...when my MIL or someone says soething out of the way i really feel depressed and not able to overcome those thoughts easily. But my parents and husband always says if you have not done anything wrong then don't believe in what others have to say and do your duty.

    If someone is negative or against you, you don't have to behave in the same manner with them then there is no difference between the 2 of you.

    So positive always.:-D
     
  9. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear kanaka, janani, roopa,
    i only follow "KUCH THO LOG KAHENGE LOGON KA KAAM HAI KEHNA, CHODO BEKAAR KI BAATHON ME BEETH NA JAYE RAINA...MEANING, PEOPLE HAVE NO OTHER WORK THEY KEEP TELLING SOMETHING OR THE OTHER TO HURT OTHERS, DONT WASTE UR TIME DEAR LET NOT THIS NIGHT PASS AWAY IN LAMENT...SUNKAN
     
  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    sunkan

    Again a nice one. What you say is right. We dont curse or bad mouth a person.

    Recently had a very bad experience like the one u mentioned about varsha.

    My daughter refused to talk to her chitti. she said chitti is different. she acts different when chittappa is around and when he is not there. When i asked her how she knows, phat came the reply, you may think i am a small girl but i can observe things. and i never thought my daughter could observe so much, because she was talking about things 5years back.

    here we knew the particular chitti was wrong. but we did not want to comment on her. I told my daughter that is her nature. forget it. accept her as she is..
    She is willing to listen but still hesitant to talk.
     

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