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Potholes on the retirement road

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Jan 4, 2015.

Page 3 of 5
  1. Jan 5, 2015 #21
    Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear V sir,

    I do not know about retirement and cannot speak for it but as I age, I do realize that pretty soon with kids growing up, I will have even more time on my hands. So I do spend some time thinking about it and may even have a plan....but let us leave it to time to tell that. I find it interesting too when I hear some of my cousins and others in India turn towards spirituality just because of their age. I agree that in fact there is no need to make any changes if we have at least begun to lay the foundation for what we want to do with more time on our hands and I have to agree with our Kamla that my one wish is not to become a burden to my kids but then I am fortunate to have wiser older people in my life and one wise old woman always assures me that in fact we can choose the way we want to die and it is a puzzle I am trying to understanding...considering even Richard Bach speaks of it as well in his Illusions! So not that I contemplate in death but I do contemplate on life and I know there is a key in life to all the questions and it will show me a way!
     
    Srama, Jan 5, 2015
    Srama, Jan 5, 2015
    #21
    1 person likes this.
  2. Jan 5, 2015 #22
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Viswa dear glad to know you value my fb which made me happy and thanks for the good wishes for both of us. All your posts are worth reading and also worthy of nomination. When I read your post it was early morning and I hadno time to give the feedback but since noone had given fb I gave the first fb which you know I always like.

    My husband also took retirement at the age of 55 yrs as in his office there were all youngsters and their thinking was different. His retirement was helpful for me as I was working and had 9 years to retire. While working only he used to help a lot in the kitchen and now I got more help from him. In the evenings before I came home he used to finish evening work in the kitchen and used to welcome me with coffee in the evenings. As it is some of my friends were jealous that he used to help me in the kitchen , now after his retirement they became more jealous because I had less work after coming home. But they did not realise what all a working woman has to go through in the office and for that they need a supporting husband. After retirement my husband became busy in doing social service. Later when Brahman Seva Samithi was formed he became more active and started doing selfless service.

    When I was given VRS in my office because our Company was taken over by another Company I used to think how I will spend my time after VRS. Till my children got settled there was no problem . I am blessed that my husband is also interested in spirituality and I am able to attend all the poojas. God has blessed me and since my children are abroad I am able to spend more time in attending poojas as we both go together and come back together.

    We also had health problems after retirement but somehow God helped us in going through the same and make us healthy. My husband is very economic and while he was working he saved and so we are able to lead a peaceful life not worried about money. He does not like to depend on his children for anything,though they are always ready to help him


    Now we have time to relax , enjoy with grandchildren whenever we go there or they come to our place , attend marriages and other functions or programmes and we enjoy every way possible.

    Now after joining IL in 2007 I am able to spend my time here, learning so many things from people here. After my cataract operation I am spending more time in making jewellery and other creations and have no time to think of anything. Thanks to Jey and Malathy for this wonderful site which has given me so many loving daughters who inspire and encourage me always. Thanks to God also for whatever He has given and making me blessed

    Sorry for the long post
     
    iyerviji, Jan 5, 2015
    iyerviji, Jan 5, 2015
    #22
    2 people like this.
  3. Jan 5, 2015 #23
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My dear Viswa
    After hearing out the pheno'menon' called hapaxlegomenon, I cannot resist responding further. I am sorry that your Snippet has now become a public property with the discussions going beyond the originally intended retirement. Retirement has now become the starting point of a great voyage called 'self discovery'. The way Aria has described it, I wish, really, really wish I was born retired.

    I strongly believe that every human being is born into this world with a specific agenda though not as something as great as that of Jesus, Buddha, Sankara or Vivekananda but nevertheless an agenda. Sankara and Vivekananda proved that it took around 30 years to finish the given agenda if one went about it from the word 'go'. Unfortunately we are all born into a bondage that expected us to follow a routine that gave us no room to pursue our personal passions. By the time we come to the end of this routine, we are too old and tired to think of pursuing our passions and retire into oblivion. And what do we leave for the posterity to remember us by? Pretty nothing! We pat ourselves on our back about having taken good care of our kith and kin and while they get busy fighting among themselves for a share of the spoils, we lie shrivelled and uncared for wondering what has become of our life.

    The trouble is that we always think of a successful life as one that is well provided for materially. All our actions are oriented towards the multiplication of our wealth. In our scramble for recognition in our chosen profession, we completely lose sight of the ambitions and passions that we were born with. We are made to believe that achievement is what we retire as! I was feeling restless as an executive of the Bank right from the start that it was not what I was supposed to be doing. The whole exercise looked utterly purposeless. I wanted to be a writer, a singer, a poet, a sportsman and imagine my chagrin when fate made me a Banker! The idea of retirement crept into my psyche even before my marriage.

    I wanted to do a whole lot of things but my family's influence on me was far too strong to allow me any freedom of the kind that I really craved for. I felt subdued completely. Like a long distance train, I laboured my way through the beaten track for 48 years when I told myself, 'Now is the time. Just jump off the track!' So I did only to find that I was too worn out to think of pursing my passions. A decade earlier would have been most ideal, I told myself.

    I am happy that there is someone who has started thinking of retirement at a much younger age than I could do. Retirement is not a winding up process. It is the start of a whole new life. The other day I was listening to Visaka Hari, the famous Harikatha exponent, narrating the story of Srinivasa Nayaka, a wealthy diamond merchant who had assets valued at Rs.9 crores in the 15th Century. He was extremely miserly who was bent only on accumulating wealth and not spending it. When he was 30, a miracle in his life changed his entire outlook. He gave up all his wealth and walked away into immortality assuming the name of Purandaradsa. In his very first song composition, he laments his wasted life of indulgence. It begins with the words 'Ana lae kara' He sang over 400 thousand songs in praise of the Lord.

    Srinivasa Naicka gave up his profession at the age of 30 to pursue his passion. This can happen only to a chosen few. The rest of us can still make something of our lives if we are bold enough to move away from such binding concepts as job security, post retirement security and the like. I can give dozens of examples of people who made a mark in life after retiring young.

    Self discovery is the process of opening our minds to the huge cosmos. It is the process of discovering our purpose in life, realising our true potential and jumping off the beaten track into where our hearts lead us. Aria, thank you for reading more into Viswa's thread.
    Sri
     
    Cheeniya, Jan 5, 2015
    Cheeniya, Jan 5, 2015
    #23
    6 people like this.
  4. Jan 5, 2015 #24
    Aria

    Aria New IL'ite

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    [/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif]Reminds me of an insightful passage from "Best of Sydney J Harris" collection

    [/FONT]
    It finally became necessary for me to take lessons (tennis lessons) if my game was to improve at all - and most of the lessons were spent in unlearning everything that "experience" and "practice" had taught me!

    This, of course made it twice as hard for me to become a truly proficient player. With the beginner , the coach merely instils good habits and proper form; but , with me , it was necessary first to break the deeply ingrained bad habits of years and reduce me to rank of ignorance before I could learn to rebuild my game the right way.

    We still wonder what to do with retirement, I know that I'll be on an unlearning curve for good couple of years. :)
     
    Aria, Jan 5, 2015
    Aria, Jan 5, 2015
    #24
  5. Jan 5, 2015 #25
    Aria

    Aria New IL'ite

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    Oh Viswa, you have to pardon me for the next fusillade of posts to pamper , overindulge Cheeniya for this man I tell you is making me tap away at phenomenon (al) speed in excitement to carry the conversation here. Will be back later!


    Don't nationalize that public property yet! I am okay for a small admission fee.
     
    Aria, Jan 5, 2015
    Aria, Jan 5, 2015
    #25
  6. Jan 5, 2015 #26
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vishwa,

    u have another 5 years to complet yr goals. Why be afaid, of the mind brooding when u are retired. it is how u trian yr mind, nothing to worry about.see i and Cheeniya dont brood, even though we are retired, we aer so busy without having work to do.HAHA

    Agreed we should be ready for death, but not be obsessed by it. And we must try and keep healthy, and know that as we age we are not able to digest as well as before, so less of sugars, a little more of walks, avoiding gyms which may aggravate our joints, being kind and gentle on ourselves.
    wealth one must think at least 20 years before u retire. that may call for some sacrifices in youth, so that u are more comfortable in old age. For edample, i talk of india, if u save a lakh , it becomes in bank interest, in 20 years, to 8 times, and in good shares and mutual funds, many times more, plust tax free too.

    if u are open , and cheerful, u wont have to go out to people, they will throng to u, the young and the old, to learn from yr expierences. But if u re the stiff upper lip and serious chap, most will keep away from u, if they can.

    Well said Vishwa, wonderful advise, always be happy, as iknow u will be, God bless u always and yr family.We shall meet some day.

    Regards

    kamal
     
    Kamalji, Jan 5, 2015
    Kamalji, Jan 5, 2015
    #26
    1 person likes this.
  7. Jan 5, 2015 #27
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Sabitha,

    Thank you for your response. I pray for your plans to be successful to keep yourself engaged after the children grow up and leave to pursue their education and job. For you, engaging your mind comes naturally and I don't think you need to worry about it at all.

    Kamla is so right in her thinking that none of us should become a burden to our respective children and that is always a prayer for all the parents. Frankly, I have seen many who died with determination to go with least problems to their kith and kin. Even though my father lived 11 months after he was hit with chronic renal failure, He died on Vinayaga Chathurthi Day, the Lord he worshiped for many years.

    If our Sankalpa is well intended with love and selflessness, it stands a good chance to be fulfilled by the grace of the Lord. Right now, our focus has to be how to make best use of the time that is graciously granted by the Lord.

    Viswa
     
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    #27
  8. Jan 5, 2015 #28
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Kamalji,

    Thank you for your response and first of all my apologies for overlap in the posts we both have made at the same time. I didn't read your post until I finished publishing mine. However, I am pleased that we both thought of the same topic at the same time.

    As I mentioned in my response in your post, you and Cheeniya Sir are great role models for me with regard to how to lead my retired life. Regarding death, I am an investigator but not a worrier. I review death only to research it more than planning anything personal. Having the company of best friends like you would never make me afraid of death.

    Regarding wealth, you are right on the money. There is no purpose in worrying about wealth after retirement and that should have been planned much earlier.

    With a little bit of planning about how to make best use of time, there is no adjustment need to be done psychologically or otherwise specifically for retirement.

    Thank you for your complements and wishes. I could not wait to get an opportunity to meet you in person.

    Regards.

    Viswa
     
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    #28
  9. Jan 5, 2015 #29
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Vijiakka,

    Everyone is happy when they receive your response or when you write a new post or when you nominate a post.

    You both lead a very nice life teaching all of us how to be content at the same time be happy in life. You know how to help each other even when you were working and now you complement each other well in managing the household work. Most parents think that they don't like to disturb the children but your husband and you are really practicing it. There is so much to learn from both of you.

    I have only one child and I would like him to be settled wherever he likes and then find a good life partner for him. Once that mission is over, we prefer to lead a simple life. We are interested in serving the humanity, adoring the Lord and illuminating the mind with spiritual thoughts. Man proposes many things but it is God who disposes. If we have enough life left, we know what we would like to do. Only the Lord needs to bless us with more life to fulfill our passions.

    Viswa
     
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    #29
  10. Jan 5, 2015 #30
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    I read your post # 23 five times since this morning to memorize every word in that post. I am truly grateful to the Lord that I have people like you who can guide me how to lead an ideal and purposeful life. I wish everyone read your post as many times as possible. I did get an opportunity to view that program of Visaka Hari.

    Even in the Western World, I admire the life of many role models. For example, Steve Jobs was adopted by his parents and his biological mother gave him in adoption assuming that both his adopted parents are graduates and would make him graduate. Later Steve realized that his parents were not graduates but did everything to provide collegiate education. He dropped out of the college but before dropping out he pursued every class he was very interested. Then he became so successful in all his endeavors. Finally, when he got hit by cancer, he never gave up and kept working until he became immobile.

    Next is Michael Jackson. He had a very bad childhood but still pursued his passion vigorously until he was successful. When he became a King of music, he was trying to provide the childhood experience that he never had to many children. He adopted three children and gave them great life. People know that he took overdose of medicine and died suddenly. But what people missed out is how aggressively he practiced for an upcoming program in the United Kingdom and in the process did not sleep continuously for many days. When he reached a stage that he could not practice anymore, he wanted to take rest and that is when he took that fatal shot.

    Viswa
     
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    Viswamitra, Jan 5, 2015
    #30
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