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Postpartum Emotions - The Struggle Is Real!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by priyabaghel, Dec 16, 2016.

  1. priyabaghel

    priyabaghel Silver IL'ite

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    I certainly knew everything is about to change. I thought I was prepared. But then there's something after God which ruins your plan happily. It's called Hormones! From the moment you bring your bundle of joy home, your life changes for never being the same again. A new world of responsibilities, lack of sleep (and few idiots to give you illogical advices all the time) makes you so vulnerable that you might burst into tears anytime and you may find it the most difficult job to explain someone why are you crying. Your husband might think that you are being a cry baby (instead of the baby) and guess what, that all is just OK. Take a deep breath, tell yourself its ok! This is a normal scenario post-delivery.

    As you recover from the physical stress that you have been through lately, you will experience a varied range of emotions too. It might take few weeks or even few months to settle into a routine that motherhood brings along. Feeling blue post-delivery is not anymore a figment of woman's imagination but research has proved it is definitely there. Although it is short lived, if not acknowledged and treated, it might lead to depression. Adjusting to the new routine after a baby has its own challenges and is frustrating at a point. Your body also needs time to rest and recover from the long journey that you have been through. Amidst all these, a roller coaster of emotions is bound to happen. There are so many things that can affect your emotional health at this stage. Be it your relationship with your husband which went through a huge change, your anxiety for parenting a newborn, your postpartum body and changed image, your financial situation, anything and everything can trigger the hormones and before you know those unexplainable tears starts rolling down.

    I, being no exception, went through the baby blues myself. Yes, I cried for the most stupid reasons on earth. I cried because my breakfast was not on time, I cried because I don’t know why! But I was lucky enough to have my mother and mother in law right by my side. I had help for my every day to day chore. My sister was there always as a best friend who would listen to all my rants patiently. Having your support system at place sure does help a lot. Emotions range from being happy at one point to being sad, feeling anxiety and restless. As much as you cannot control these emotions, it is also important to acknowledge that this is the most exciting time of your life. This is the time to bond with the baby and enjoy every day knowing that your baby is growing so much each day and this time will never come back. So you may ask, what needs to be done?

    Well, for starters let's see how we can deal with all the baby blues.

    • As it is said, it takes a village to raise a child. Keep your close ones, friends and family near. Ask for help whenever you need. There's no harm bothering your loved ones, you need help, you ask for help. Period

    • Go for a 10 minutes’ walk with your baby. This will refresh your mind and when you are back home, you feel fresh and more energetic.

    • Don't try to be 'perfect'. This is next to impossible. Know something? However imperfect you are, there's no one more perfect than you for your baby!

    • Don't fret over the regular stuff. It’s ok if the house is in mess. Throw the garbage tomorrow. Order dinner tonight. Take a break, lie down, grab your baby and the boobs and enjoy a movie. Fold the laundry day after tomorrow. Does it really matter?

    • Hand over your bub to papa, go take a leisure warm shower. Well, this is your vacation for next few months. Relish it!

    • Eat a well-balanced diet. Don't be in a hurry to shed those extra flabs. You feel hungry all the time! That's normal, after all you are making food for the little one.

    • Initial months of motherhood is often isolating. Try not to go into isolation. Keep in touch with family and friends.

    To the Dads, if you are reading this,

    I know you guys are just amazing fathers. This is a big change for you too! But as a woman, mother and wife, let me tell you something. Your wife doesn't cry for no reason. She just doesn't seem upset because she has got nothing better to do. She needs your encouragement and appreciation often to keep her going. Nurturing a tiny human 24*7 is an exhausting job and you can equally be a part of this process.

    • Take the baby out for a walk so that mom can have some time to herself.

    • Feed the baby at night (if bottle fed) or latch on the baby directly as mother continues to sleep for some time.

    • Change Nappies. That could be a great help too.

    • Make mom some breakfast and snacks to munch on. Breastfeeding makes her hungry all the time.

    • Help her with her daily chores.

    • Give her a massage. After child birth, your back is something which goes for a toss and a warm massage is always rejuvenating.

    • Tell her often that she is a great mother and doing an awesome job at it.

    • Tell her it's ok to make mistakes and that she need not be perfect.

    • Call her once a day at least to check on her and the baby.

    • Drop the 'I love you ' frequently.

    • Let her cry her heart out and talk umpteen number of times about her experience of childbirth. Be a patient listener and give warm hugs.

    Being at home alone with the baby and tending to his needs is a big job. Although on the face of it, it seems like no work, it does take a lot of physical and emotional work. Raising tiny humans is indeed exhausting. It is also isolating at times, moms tend to miss out on their social life. Attending to crying baby, figuring out the reason for distress and then acting on it takes a lot of effort. There's no more a village available to raise a child and in most cases it’s just the couple these days. A baby and everything else to take care of keeps mom so busy that often they forget to eat properly, they hardly get to nap and may often not get time even to take bath. So at the end of the day, she needs reassurance that she is doing things right. And who better than the husband can do that!

    At this point when she is already dealing with emotional up downs, she needs lots of love, care and nurturing. By nurturing the mother, you are making her more capable of nurturing the little one.

    Dealing with postpartum stress isn't easy but it can be well managed with the help of your loved ones. Take a deep breath and settle down, you are being a fabulous mother. However emotional turmoil we feel, there's no denying the fact that this is also the time to cherish, every moment! Kids grow up fast, and we will be left only with memories. So why not make a good one?

  2. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    Lovely post and helpful for new mothers and dads....it made me remember my postpartum days...
    after my first delivery, how i used to feel hurt even on small things...due to anxiety i was not able to sleep till 2-3 pm in night even though my daughter used to be sleeping, and after 3:00 when i used to start feeling sleepy, she used to wake up :biggrin:.....first was c-section and i wanted to do everything for my baby myself, but dr. said to wait for 10 days, but i was eager....when dr. gave me green signal ... how relieved i felt that now i can take care of my baby myself.....
    i got a lovely full time maid who took care of my house very well and did lot of chores for me and my baby too....Though she will not read it but i want to say thanks to her.
    my mother was there with me, she prepared lovely postpartum food for me, i used to feel hungry all the time and she ensured i get healthy, filling food on time....(though i have to convince her very hard to provide me diet as par Dr instructions,not exactly the traditional way...:flushed:).....she sailed me through initial month by taking my baby from me in the middle of night when she used to cry a lot so that i can sleep and recover...really i would not have made it without my mum's help.
    In my next delivery, which was a normal one, i was a mother second time, hence experienced already,it was a normal delivery, i handled everything myself, hired a cook, this time i gave my mother rest.:sweatsmile:...
    though my BP was increased due to some in-laws tantrums(different story altogether)....after 10 days when i went for routine checkup....my Dr was surprised that for whole 9 months pregnancy your BP was not increased once, not once your BP was increased during labor( i had long labor hrs around 40)....then what happened now that your BP has increased.....i just smiled and gave a threatening stare to my DH:smilingimp:.....

    at that time how difficult time it seem but now how happy it feels....
    sindmani and priyabaghel like this.
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for sharing your motherhood experience here for the benefit of so many new mothers. @iyerviji has nominated your post to the finest post section. There is so much to learn from your straight from the heart thread. I wish this thread gets best attention from the ILites.


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