Posting Again..need Advice

Hey, pls dont do marriage for sakes of your parents. Wats my opinion is that, he has to say ok to his parents to get this relation proceed further. If he given the Yes to his parents, then you have to speak to him, exactly the concerns what you mentioned in this post. Listen carefuly his response, and from that you can understand whether is really interested in this marriage or for some other reasons. Pls go ahead only if you are comfortable with that guy.

 

OP, definitely you should reach out to him. I do understand that not being responsive could be a red flag but considering your options and your parents being keen which too could probably be for the same reason I would recommend to give him a chance.

The way I see it, highly likely, there's something he heard in those 2 + 2 hrs that has got him in a fix. Its in your interest to find out what that is or those concerns are and reassure him if they are just misunderstandings or him reading between the lines a bit too much which are all quite normal in such situations.

If he says he is not interested, at least you tried and will have no regret that you didn't try, for the rest of your life. But if it works out, you will be glad you persisted and don't forget to come back and share the "good news" with all of us here

 

I am not a married girl but i do understand your problem.Please don't run after a person who is not responding.Relationships works from both the sides.But as i can see the he doesn't even care of your existence, he is just ignoring you and giving you excuses, it clearly means he is not interested.He was never there in your hard times(i.e., Surgery).How can you expect him to stand with you lifetime.Have some self respect and search for someone else who deserves you.

 

I have been never married, but have came across such guys who disappear after chatting/talking for hours/weeks or even months. You already tried texting him and his response makes me think like he is not that interested. I wouldn't try contacting him again since that might make you look desperate. But if you want to give one more chance, I would say text/call him asking how things are at his end and don't bring up the point of meeting until he talks once more with you over the phone. See how the phone conversation goes and then decide if you want to meet him or not. I understand your parents looking out for you, but please understand that it's your life and you don't wanna settle for someone again who doesn't even do a basic communication or even care for you.

 

Op pls don't text / call again.
Simply he is ignoring you. This happens in all marriages, my friend once chatted to guy for 2 months, thru a matrimony site and suddenly disappeard with his account gone.
Later he was found in another matrimony site with same name! My Friend was broken that time but now we find that funny and laugh at it. So wait for right person.
Pls ask parents to stay away until some geniuine man comes.
Run a full background verification including health, finance etc a-z.
Don't worry prince charm will find you soon.

 

You need a partner who is committed to you. Interest to marry should be mutual. If you chase him, it appears like you are desperate. He may be considering many other women in matrimony site and you are one of them. If he is interested he will come to you. Look like you have started emotionally connecting with him after these chats. That's not the way to go. Wait for the right partner and use your brain to select the one for you. Dont take any decision in haste. Your parents took decision in your first marriage , what happened. So ask them to give you time. Take control of your life. Dont marry anyone because your parents asked you to so. Be very convinced about your choice.

 

Dear Op,

It’s wise not to call / message him. His disinterest is very evident from his behaviour. He is not allowing you to build expectations. That’s the reason he has been mute and it’s fair from his end.

 

Wait and see for a week. If no response, leave him and search for a good match again or talk with him openly about ur expectations. Then proceed after knowing his attitude.

 

@nolife - If you are looking for guys via matrimony sites, then you will come across such guys pretty often. I think the reason for that is one has more options while finding a match via matrimony sites and so everyone likes to explore more before finalizing one. Also some are just not serious about getting into a relationship and are just there for fun. One of my friend here in US had a gf in India and he was serious about her but she wasn't regular in communicating, but still wanted to join the site so he could talk to different gals regularly for fun even though he didn't wanted to marry them. I stopped him from doing so since I didn't wanted him to play with other gals emotions. But I have got interests from such other guys out there. I spent 8 years on matrimony site and had came across all kinds of guys, went through different experiences and different stories and I am confident that I can write a book now on my experiences and how to deal with it...

I can write a complete separate book on the guy I met last with whom I was almost going to get engaged/married and then had to call things off... Of course he should be in a separate book since he was so special...

Also I had made a mistake of not exploring the 'Red flags' thread in 'Singles' forum while I was talking to guys.. Had I read that before, I would have ended my relationship long back and wouldn't have suffered so much... I recommend you going through it if you haven't already.

Good luck!