Post- Nuptial Depression. Anyone ever faced it?

Hi! You are newly married and have moved to a great city...why are you depressed? I think you would need to introspect and ask us what exactly is depressing you. Is it something about your husbands behaviour or something to do with leaving Mumbai? Maybe its home sickness - that will go away as soon as you settle into your new life and I am sure you knew way back that you would be leaving mumbai after marriage. Or did you have some expectations from marriage that havent been met?

Dont worry, the first few months are always the toughest but it will soon be fine as you settle down. Count your blessings and stay happy.

 

dear OP,

I think quite a few girls would be going through this .....especially in arranged marriages because of unfamiliarity with the spouse. In any marriage, once the initial excitement n festivities are over, its back to the daily grind. The husband gets busy with his office while the wife is left alone at home [if she is not working]. In your case, the fact that you have left your friends and family behind and have relocated to a new place would accentuate your problem a bit more.

I too felt the same initially but in a minor way. After everything settles down, the relatives have gone and you are in a new place, a new home - you do feel homesick. Even though mine was a love marriage, for the first few days I did feel sad n missed my parents and siblings a lot. Each day, when I returned from office, not having my parents [especially my mother] around to hug me or ask me how the day went was quite depressing. To get over this, I asked my husband to pick me up from office in the evening and we would go out for a cup of coffee or dinner and then return home in the evening. Slowly things started to improve and I started getting busy with things at home.

Please dont worry dear - this will just take some time and you will adjust soon. Meanwhile, you can find some hobby or some activity which can keep you occupied. Having a friend circle or a full time job will certainly help. Also on weekends, spend time with your husband - go out for movies, dinner etc.

Since you are just one month into marriage, try to strengthen the relationship. The more you interact, communicate, bond n share things with your spouse, the sooner will you be able to adjust to the new environment. Also keep in regular touch with your family and friends back in India.

Please try not to think over this too much. Talk to your spouse and see how best the two of you are able to tackle this.

Take care honey

kylie

 

dear Adithi,

Keep up that spirit girl !! And do keep posting here....

All the best and wish you a very happy married life..

love,
kylie

 

OP,

Ask your DH to introduce you to his friend's wives. So that, they can take you along for shopping. Sooner the better, to get know more people. Get your driving license and then, you can freely explore the near by malls, grocery stores etc. Usually, various regional movies are screened during the weekends. You can go to the movies. Various cultural event goes on during the summer, check at the local Indian stores for details. Visit the near by temples.

Stop by the local library. You can take movies/music CDs, and books to keep you busy during the day.