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Positive Side Of Self Obsession.

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, Jul 31, 2022.

  1. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    POSITIVE SIDE OF SELF OBSESSION

    Self-obsession has never been taken kindly. It is taken as the negative side of human behavior. Self-obsessed people are selfish, intolerant, angry, egoistic, and all that. But if we think little dispassionately we will find that self-obsession is not all that bad. It has its positive sides.

    Self-obsession is nothing more than self-fulfillment and there is nothing wrong with that. A child wants fulfillment of his needs and is fully content when the needs are fulfilled. The happiness that surfaces on the face of a child after a feed or diaper change can match any true happiness. No one calls this child self-obsessed. As the child grows up he realizes that no one will feed his needs and he alone will have to work for it. He does what he feels is right to fulfilling his needs. Is that wrong?

    If I am obsessed with myself it means I value myself as no one else knows me better than I do. If I do not value myself no one will. If I do not feed or dress myself no one will. So why not eat the best and dress the latest? This way I have satisfied my needs and presented myself as my best to the whole world. It is up to the world to make sense. I have made sense to myself. This is the positive side.

    If I do not beat my drum no one will. So why not beat it lauder, loudest? If I have a camera and I do not take my selfie and let the whole world know about it why am I carrying the load of that camera? This is the positive side.

    You may say I consider myself the world that revolves around me. What difference does it make? If you want to revolve around the world so be it. I am not pulling the rug from under your feet. This is the positive side.

    You may say I am selfish. When was the last time you donated your wealth and became a pauper? I am not taking your share. I am just protecting mine. This is the positive side.

    You may say I prevail upon others and do not value others' opinions. I never said if you are not with me you are against me. Similarly, if I am not with you it does not mean I am against you. That is the positive side.

    If I do not write this piece and show you how brilliant I am at this art of self-expression/self-modulation how would you know me? This is the positive side.
     
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  2. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Silver IL'ite

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    very nice.. it is just taking care of ourselves
     
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  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Hari Sir,

    I respectfully disagree with you, Sir. There is a subtle difference between self-confidence and self-obsession. Self-obsession borders with narcissism leading one to live in something not real. Self-confidence brings courage and conviction and leads to self-fulfillment and self-sacrifice. Self-confidence also helps one to be selfless. Looking for validation from outside world dilutes self-confidence. Ultimate praise for once work is self-fulfillment. Self-obsession is another name for pride which is considered one of the 6 enemies.
     
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  4. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Shri Viswa,
    That is why I said, self-obsession is not that bad, which means it is bad but it has its positive side too.
    In my opinion, pride is not that bad too. If I say I am proud of this or that, it does not mean I am arogant. For example, I am proud of my country or religion, as long as I give similar weight to others to be proud of their country or religion. Similarly, unless one learns to love self, love for others does not develop. It is like feeling happy when one achieves something and that gives the understanding of feeling happy when someone else also archives something. It is like telepathy. We are indebted to many inventors, and winners and want to emulate them and feel equally liked and honored.
    The problem arises when we value ourselves more than others. There is no problem as long as we value ourselves.
     
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  5. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Hariji,
    Everything has both positive and negative side. The line between self obsession, self confidance, loving ourselves and others as well, to some extent narcissistic attitude is very thin. Only self obsession or confidance or any other mentioned trait.... The word "only" makes the difference.Difficult to judge. No copy book rules.Many times depends on circumstances and issues that we deal with.
    Syamala
     
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  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Syamalaji,
    Yeah. The line between self-obsession and self-confidence is very thin. I think the bottom line is to love your- self before loving others.
     
  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    The "I" is very important for ouir development. It prevemts us from sinking into self-forgetfulness. Self-obsession is essential for knowing one self. Self-obsession is wrongly seen as ego, Self-obsession is a positive force that teaches you humility unlike the arrogance generated by ego.
     
  8. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I am sorry to disagree here!

    I am sorry to disagree here!

    Everything has a choice... Chose this or that. Chose this, bcz that satisfies your needs. Chose that, bcz that satisfies the needs of your loved ones.

    My parents had a choice to lead a comfortable & luxurious life with the money the earned. Buy they chose to save a major portion of their income, so that their children can enter into adulthood comfortably. That's selfless love!

    My husband's parents too had this choice back then. But they chose to prioritize themselves instead. Which resulted in a troubled adulthood for their children.
    To cope with that, they planned to marry off their children to wealthy brides with hefty dowry. Literally to sell their sons off.
    This is selfish.

    Obsessions in anything is not right.

    Love yourself.That's not wrong!
    Rather it is very important.
    But loving only yourself is what problematic. This leads to unloving others!
    Selfishness or self obsession makes you to concentrate only yourself at the cost of leaving others unattended to.
    We humans are social animals, and we can't coexist with each other if everyone is so selfish.






    My parents had a choice to lead a comfortable & luxurious life with the money the earned. Buy they chose to save a major portion of their income, so that their children can enter into adulthood comfortably. That's selfless love!

    My husband's parents too had this choice back then. But they chose to prioritize themselves instead. Which resulted in a troubled adulthood for their children.
    To cope with that, they planned to marry off their children to wealthy brides with hefty dowry. Literally to sell their sons off.
    This is selfish.

    Obsessions in anything is not right.

    Love yourself.That's not wrong!
    But loving only yourself is what problematic. This leads to unloving others!
     
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  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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  10. Divya0331

    Divya0331 Senior IL'ite

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