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Positive parenting

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by swt.charu, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @justanothergirl jag you bet, zipping our lips tight when all you want is to talk/direct/lecture sometimes has wonderful rewards.. oh i can't put it here, the out of zipped days the last two years have i am tired ....

    @swt.charu it was discussed here long back, even a book was recommended, how to say no without saying no..more or less how you have described..affirmative ways of discipline..
    it is more like allowing them to figure through conversation and action why it is a no though you don't say no..when they are kids..as they grow giving them choices and asking them to discuss those choices helps..

    A regular no makes the child test boundaries, resist the no..why not try it..sometimes into testing limits and your patience by throwing tantrums.. instead this could be the way..
     
  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    If we understand this it is a beautiful journey with your kiddos instead of raising kids

    FB_IMG_1460379780553.jpg
     
  3. Durga18

    Durga18 Silver IL'ite

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    Nice thread Charu.
     
  4. Durga18

    Durga18 Silver IL'ite

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    My son works very hard at school, but at home he is very lazy. Me and my husband always shouts at him for not doing his jobs. But one day I talked to him about his biased behavior. He told me " at school, the teachers don't shout and they always ask to do jobs in a very low and polite tone like, " can you do this, it will be nice if you do this" kind of words. After that, I controlled myself at shouting part and trying to be more gentle with my words. But still sometimes can't control myself. But more than me, my husband shouts a lot at my son. I keep on telling my husband. May be he needs more time than me.
     
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  5. Durga18

    Durga18 Silver IL'ite

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    My son works very hard at school, but at home he is very lazy. Me and my husband always shouts at him for not doing his jobs. But one day I talked to him about his biased behavior. He told me " at school, the teachers don't shout and they always ask to do jobs in a very low and polite tone like, " can you do this, it will be nice if you do this" kind of words. After that, I controlled myself at shouting part and trying to be more gentle with my words. But still sometimes can't control myself. But more than me, my husband shouts a lot at my son. I keep on telling my husband. May be he needs more time than me.
     
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  6. tuffyshri

    tuffyshri Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Shanvy. IIT is something a way that I just showed her as she is passionate to become a space person, may be an astronaut. Otherwise we are only helping her go there and not really pressurizing her and definitely will not be disappointed if she couldnt.
    Yes, I have also heard about Abacus but as I said my focus was on having Vedic maths as it is more fun and makes maths approachable. But since she has two more years to go there... was suggested to take up Abacus meanwhile thats all. But she is happy when she is able to add or subtract 3 digit sums just like that. She was not confident previously but is now; so am fine with that now.
    How to make my DD understand - thats an herculean effort. She is a great listener err.. hearer i must say. She seldom responds or get anything inside her. If and only if that is done, most of my problem is solved!
     
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  7. tuffyshri

    tuffyshri Gold IL'ite

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    can someone puleeeeeze tell me how to get rid of that laziness from my DD
     
  8. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    hey hi @tuffyshri

    just hang in there... you have a bright one there and as the time passes something will hit them hard and would bring in a change...

    honestly I too am waiting for some miracle inspiration without losing my mind in the process..

    Yesterday I bought this battery operated tooth brush which kind of works itself around when one uses it... my DS loved it and his teeth looked spic and span for once in long time :hollering: without my forced intervention to fix his usage of toothbrush...

    But later I hated myself for having just blown a good equivalent of Rs 400 on a simple tooth brush...:smash2:
     
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  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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  10. ManuManasa

    ManuManasa New IL'ite

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    good thought

    Yes my son also listens to adult talk. Sometime it makes my husband and me surprise that he is listening to us.
     

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