Dear IL friends We are couple in mid 40s and plan to retire in next 10 years. All these years in life I have been yearning to live in a 3 bhk. May be emotionally I want to stay in big house.Our elder son is working and younger studying but in next 10 years elder might get married and younger might go to college. I am only child and wish to keep my parents with me. My husband is otherwise nice but whenever it comes to purchasing a house,he would go for 2bhk or smaller house. I tried my best to convince him for a need to go for a 3 bhk. But somehow he is not convinced. He would say something like we will buy when we go in 10 years or probably kids or parents wont stay with us so 1 bhk sufficient for just both.Why to invest money,its dead investment...blah blah blah Any suggestions?
May be convince him of other uses for the extra room. If he is interested in reading, make it like a reading corner/office room, if he is interested in tech stuff, may be entice him with a home theater, if he has some hobbies that room could serve has his/ your personal hobby space. I would suggest all this only if you can afford the extra cost. Furnish it minimally with sofa cum bed so that you can use it as guest bedroom as well. If your/his parents are coming to live with you permanently then you might end up shifting to a bigger house on rental basis, which could mean extra hassles.
What are the property trends in your area? If a 3-bedroom house will appreciate more than a smaller house it won't be a dead investment. If that is the case try bringing up that viewpoint. If your parents/ in laws are going to move in with you at some point it will be better to have more space. That way you can also allot one room for your children when they visit with their families in future.
Maybe he doesn't want his kids or any side of the parents to live with him when he's older. It could be his indirect way of conveying that as your kids or parents can't live with you in just a 1 bhk (as he told u 1 bhk is sufficient).
@PLK i assume the properties are in india. it is easy to rent or sell a two/single bedroom than a 3 bhk though a 3bhk is a comfortable space for you. the only thing you can say is you want the sons to have separate rooms. i agree with his thought process though. we have a 3bhk, it was a nice feeling when the kids were at home. with them away it is a lot of space for the two of us and 10yrs down we are looking at retirement homes .
Go on girls, I am listening and trying to understand. His parents are not alive but he likes my parents. He says we can take a flat on rent 3 bhk while everyone is together instead of a liability of purchasing one. Yes its in India and in Mumbai particularly where a 3bhk is nearly 4cr.
There are many variables here, and question is not just how many bedrooms (1/2/3) the house should have. Will you go in exactly 10 years, or will that depend on many factors. Has there been a frank discussion about parents living with you. Is there a possibility that either child might live with you as an adult. Is he ambivalent about only the number of bedrooms, or also about the feasibility of investing in a house from now itself. Coming to your specific question -- if all other things are in place, and discussion is only about 2 or 3 bhk (1 is really too small). If discussion is only about 2 or 3 rooms, you can address the big issue -- cost. Is an option like paying guest when you are living in the house and retired, acceptable? Maybe a commuter option during the week for working people living 2-3 hrs from the place? That will bring some money. Research the resale prospects of 3 BHK and find how the challenges can be overcome. What are the chances of you deciding to sell it within 5-10 years of buying it? Look at the decision making process with a little detachment. Your yearning is understandable and worth spending on if it is not totally a bad idea financially. So, do some research, come up with figures, work-arounds, alternates. Finally, it boils down to how much you can spend on this yearning. And how much he is willing to spend. If you have not yet openly brought up the idea of your parents living with you, do it now. Talk it over with parents first. Don't simply have a vague desire to "have parents live with me when they are older." If they want to, then, some more frank talk can take place. Maybe they can contribute to the cost of the place you buy. Or, they can give you and your husband some idea of what you will inherit. You may be the only child, but, still, putting things in actual figures helps. This can also be a point you can use for your 3BHK dream. I will be inheriting xyz amount from parents down the line, so I can afford the risk of putting abc amount now in a 3bhk which would mean a lot to me. A point I would present is "I've never bought diamonds or jewelry, never asked for this, never asked for that...only once in life I am really wanting something." : ) My better-half would then counter with, "who will dust and mop the house when maid servant is absent...?"
You said it @Rihana!!! We have already decided that parents will stay with us,thats mutual decision. He says till the time we need 3bhk we will take one on rent instead of purchasing. Perhaps, I am thinking by heart and not with any.logic.
If you are bent on 3 bedrooms and he is bent on 2, you are going to have to sell the 3rd br to him. If he is money minded, say you can airbnb it. If he is a geek, say he can make that room into a man-cave and keep all his gadgets there. If he is a movie buff say you can treat that room as a mini theatre. A projector isn't too expensive anyway.
