pls make it clear

Rad · Nov 5, 2012

i am sharing some of my emotions which is confusing me for quite a long period.

my husband's love for me is totally lost...he says i am totally intolerable...i am in no way disturbing him....
he has friendship with one of his female collegues..i am sure it is not an affair...
he is giving too much importance to her....this is his daily routine....gets up in the morn..goes to gym...goes to office..returns home and chats in his mobile with her upto 11pm or even 1 am......whatever official, i dont think anyone can accept this if it is a routine...that day when we went to doctor's office, they called my name...i was about to enter his room....dh dint even know that i was called and was busy chatting...

some of the changes in him after her friendship..(she is married)

not disclosing his mobile password..in fact not allowing me to touch his phone even for attending calls
changed his mail password..
put his phone in silent mode
telling me dont ask me where i am, when i will come..
yelling at me if i say something about her
planned to start a business with her and her husb but not discussing anything with me..

i am telling this bcos in the first few years of marriage he was very transparent..we used to be too friendly before having a child...and the situation is worse after my daughter was born.

he is saying me as intolerable...like "chi" ...i underwent so many illtreatments by my mil during all these years of marriage..but never uttered a word nor fought on things....i tried my maximum to be good to them only to earn this bad name..

about my mil, in short...she used to charge for food if i stay thr(hope u remember already i mentioned)....we are leaving our kid there in the morn and pick her up in the eve..as i am working too.....she will charge money for baby's milk...now she has gone to the height of being a miser. she is saying " bring water from ur home for ur kid...as i cant boil water for her due to gas insufficiency....." she is the grand mother of my kid..and look how she behaves...i didnt even react to this..it is her nature.....

i am totally confused..why is this life??? wh should i tolerate this ??? for whom???

DivyaBharati · Nov 5, 2012

I dont think its just a friendship, what is her husband doing when she chats with your hub for long hrs? ... did u meet this couple ? does they have any kids ?

Vishnupradheep · Nov 5, 2012

Rad said: ↑

i am sharing some of my emotions which is confusing me for quite a long period.

my husband's love for me is totally lost...he says i am totally intolerable...i am in no way disturbing him....
he has friendship with one of his female collegues..i am sure it is not an affair...
he is giving too much importance to her....this is his daily routine....gets up in the morn..goes to gym...goes to office..returns home and chats in his mobile with her upto 11pm or even 1 am......whatever official, i dont think anyone can accept this if it is a routine...that day when we went to doctor's office, they called my name...i was about to enter his room....dh dint even know that i was called and was busy chatting...

some of the changes in him after her friendship..(she is married)

not disclosing his mobile password..in fact not allowing me to touch his phone even for attending calls
changed his mail password..
put his phone in silent mode
telling me dont ask me where i am, when i will come..
yelling at me if i say something about her
planned to start a business with her and her husb but not discussing anything with me..

i am telling this bcos in the first few years of marriage he was very transparent..we used to be too friendly before having a child...and the situation is worse after my daughter was born.

he is saying me as intolerable...like "chi" ...i underwent so many illtreatments by my mil during all these years of marriage..but never uttered a word nor fought on things....i tried my maximum to be good to them only to earn this bad name..

about my mil, in short...she used to charge for food if i stay thr(hope u remember already i mentioned)....we are leaving our kid there in the morn and pick her up in the eve..as i am working too.....she will charge money for baby's milk...now she has gone to the height of being a miser. she is saying " bring water from ur home for ur kid...as i cant boil water for her due to gas insufficiency....." she is the grand mother of my kid..and look how she behaves...i didnt even react to this..it is her nature.....

i am totally confused..why is this life??? wh should i tolerate this ??? for whom???
Click to expand...

I think its purely communication gap between u and ur DH, burst ur emotions which is confusing u to ur DH. If he is not transparent to u ask this to ur DH. No one noes what really the situation is except u both. So sit and communicate. If he is not listening to ur emotions, then there is some problem with ur relationship which can also be solved when u both by ,sit and talk, leave both of ur egos and apologize each other. .. good luck

indianguy2010 · Nov 5, 2012

Rad said: ↑

i a
d chats in his mobile with her upto 11pm or even 1 am......
??
Click to expand...

No man can talk official things with his female (genuine) friend till 11 pm. What is going on is an affair.

ruknights · Nov 6, 2012

Rad said: ↑

i am sharing some of my emotions which is confusing me for quite a long period.

goes to office..returns home and chats in his mobile with her upto 11pm or even 1 am......

when we went to doctor's office, they called my name...i was about to enter his room....dh dint even know that i was called and was busy chatting...

not disclosing his mobile password..in fact not allowing me to touch his phone even for attending calls

changed his mail password..

put his phone in silent mode

telling me dont ask me where i am, when i will come..

yelling at me if i say something about her

planned to start a business with her and her husb but not discussing anything with me..

i am telling this bcos in the first few years of marriage he was very transparent..we used to be too friendly before having a child...and the situation is worse after my daughter was born.
Click to expand...

i am sorry to say this but i think he is having an affair for the things you said above...

bujji_1522 · Nov 6, 2012

sorry to say...but i too think there is something fishy...if it was soooooo "official" why cant they speak on phone...please put your foot down and ask him to answer all your questions...

rkk1 · Nov 6, 2012

indianguy2010 said: ↑

No man can talk official things with his female (genuine) friend till 11 pm. What is going on is an affair.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

We do not know whether the affair has gotten physical yet, or if it is only emotional. But yes, this is an affair as he obviously has emotional closeness with this lady. Talking to another co-worker until 11pm to 1am is completely improper. I can only wonder if the other lady's husband knows what is going on between her and your (op's) husband.

miscellaneous · Nov 6, 2012

Your husband obviously has something going on with this lady. If I were you I would ask my husband to either stop being so intimate with her or introduce the couple to me so that I can feel "included" too.

g3sudha · Nov 6, 2012

Howcome the other lady's husband is quite??

Tashsin · Nov 6, 2012

I feel this is not a friendship...:rant...I mean how can he talk with her till 1am...so late..and how about her husband..? I feel he needs emotional support..u r busy with DD and work and adjusting with PIL so u don't hv enought time for DH as I feel....thatz why he is going outside to get all this support...
So try to talk with DH on this..don't take it so lightly this maybe serious...
With communication u can solve any problem...:thumbsup good luck to you for this...
Second issue with MIL don't worry pay her for milk and boil water for DD Itz not a big issue..after all ur earning for DD....