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please tell me if i am going wrong

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by janaka1, Mar 21, 2014.

  1. janaka1

    janaka1 Silver IL'ite

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    my parents have left. I am so burdened with heaviness from within about their behavior that now a days i have started saying things that i do not know if i should be saying.

    the other day when my mom told me over phone that they had gone to meet some relatives, I found myself saying..."o that's good, it seems you do not take to heart whatever bad things they say to you the way you did in case of my ILs".

    When they said about a family where the parents of the married daughter were accompanying them in some tour happily..i ended up saying 'that parents must be very good to their daughter as well as snil, thats why"

    When they said they would try to visit us sometime next year i said "do what YOU feel right..i don't have any opinion, as i don't want be held responsible for anything later'.

    i sometimes feel that i am doing these things apparently unprovoked. But the mountain of frustration inside me is pushing me to behave that way. i know i am hurting my mom's feelings. She is not calling me now-a-days. I have gone so crazy that yesterday I called her and said one more such thing. When she casually asked if my dh has come back from office i ended up saying "you don't worry so much, you enjoy your life there, i'll take care of thing the way i feel right"

    I was weeping like crazy yesterday clutching my baby after that.Have i gone crazy dear?? Please tell me is it natural? should i control myself??am i doing further damage by behaving this way? or will it show them what is what eventually? I feel so lonely now a days. I feel i do not have parents..my ILs have never ever for a single day behaved with me like parents. I can't tell all these things to my dh..i seem to be all alone.
     
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  2. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Sweetheart, have you discussed this with your doctor? Please talk to your doctor because this sounds like baby blues to me, more than anything else... It is not your fault but your hormones are running amok, plus your sleep schedule has been severely interrupted. So talk to a professional. They are there to help you. Take care dear.
     
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  3. janaka1

    janaka1 Silver IL'ite

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    do you really think it is not that serious and its just me who is worried like that? Are you sure you read my previous posts about my dad misbehaving with my dh? Sorry i just assumed you must be knowing the background.
     
  4. DinkyManoj

    DinkyManoj Silver IL'ite

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    Dear,
    Its your dad who behaved badly and not your mom. Remember mothers always love their dear daughter unconditionally no matter what. So just go ahead and tell her what's been disturbing you lately, I am sure you'll feel relieved after telling her. You can't trust anyone more than your mom, she's always your well wisher. Don't worry dear things will become alright soon. You just had your baby and have no help, so it's taking a toll on you. Find a good maid to help you relax a bit.
     
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  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP...what happened has happened. By continuing your sarcastic comments with your mom...you are just continuing the friction instead of ending it. You know your father has a problem...keep him away from your husband. If it is impossible to keep them apart for some reason for some occasion....set up strict rules on what and how your father will interact with your husband.Period. Don't drag the issue now. Your mom was not really part of it other than standing by her husband. She has to live with him so let it be. Talk to your mom...if it is still bothering you ,then you discuss the issue with her instead of hurting her by sarcastic comments. Please don't take out your anger on your mom. I hope you won't mind my frank comments. I apologize if they are too frank.

    I agree with guesshoo that you may also be depressed and that may be adding to your problem...just think about it .
     
  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear, Whatever the background, being bitter, feeling lonely and clutching your baby and crying indicate that you are sort of falling apart. It is not normal. Since you realise what is making you upset but are still for some reason unable deal with it objectively, I felt you could do with some help. I apologise if it were too presumptuous. Take care.
     
  7. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,
    you are upset with the way things were when they were visiting you & now ,are missing them ,as they are your parents & came to support you .....you are feeling sad,lonely & little guilty whether you did everything well when they were here .

    there is nothing wrong in crying.its healing in a way so go ahead & cry to your hearts content..........then write a letter to your parents putting down everything you disliked about then & the way they behaved, then burn it without re reading.......this will help to bring out your resentment towards your parents in positive way...........

    lastly ,go for walk with your baby, eat few pieces of dark chocolate & nice spicy chaat to boast your mood.......
     
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