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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ProudIndian, Sep 5, 2018.

  1. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Find a lawyer.
    Check how much child support your children will get.He should not have had kids if he can't put them as his most important priority.
    Check about how much you will get after a divorce .
    See if you can live peacefully as a single mom.

    Talk to your husband and let him know you are seriously thinking of seperating because of his irresponsible behavior towards his wife and children.
    Give him a plan of how you want things to be if he wants to stay married.

    If children object,explain to them about how precarious your financial situation is because of your husband putting you and chidren last over his greedy blood sucking sister.(people who do not put their children first do not deserve the unconditional loyalty of their children )

    . Let them know if this continues,you and your husband will end up helpless and poor in old age. Explain to them how you need to take steps to provide a better future for them as their needs are being put aside for luxuries for sil's family.

    I don't support bringing children into fights ....but here the future of the kids is being put in danger and it is fair .
    Why should they hate the mother who is thinking of their welfare instead of the father who doesn't give a ****?

    Better still put the blame of their bloodsucking vampire bua( aunt)
    Buas are not necessary for a happy life.
    Children can live a good life without their blood sucking aunt being in touch.
    I say you throw the sil under the bus here.
    Let the kids know their future is bleak because the bua is sucking all your family money and you are separating so that you can protect their future.

    When your husband knows that he is now not the saint in front of his kids...he will think twice before sending the sponge sil further luxuries.

    As for him remarrying....with two kids to provide child support to ,I doubt he will find someone that easily.
    Let it be known that whatever is happening is because of your greedy blood sucking sil.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2018
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    You should not have got married if social work was your priority.
    You would have been very succesful as a social worker.

    Now that she is seperating ,you can devote your resources to social work.

    Thank your stars she is financially independent now and you will not have to pay alimony,only child support.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2018
    nakshatra1 and Sunshine04 like this.
  3. Gallant

    Gallant Silver IL'ite

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    @nakshatra1
    I gave money on need basis only...they are financially week and they need help. I never gave very expensive gifts...very rare...around $100.
     
  4. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    The issue is wide spread among NRIs.

    Some stories were so horrible....

    Both H/W were working in India and the 'money' fight started soon after the marriage between DH and DW. The DIL asked her PILs, 'How much do you need to leave us alone?'. The PILs asked for crore from their son; He came to US, leaving the pregnant (working) wife in India with her family. He settled the cash to his parents before bringing his wife/kid, here.

    Another family, MIL came for delivery and split the husband / wife with 2-girls due to same money issue. The couple even tried to live in different cities for nearly 8 years. They were divorced when their 1st girl was in middle school. Such a brilliant girls, both of them are doctors now, and grew up without dad in their life.

    I really don't know, how these PILs live consciously rest of their life, knowing that what they had done to their son or daughter's marriage life.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2018
  5. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    That is the mentality of some people. We think they are parents how can they hurt their own child. In reality, they are just investors who invested in a son to get good returns. Have seen some people like that so i don't find it shocking anymore. It's just sick how some people trade relationship for money.Well, there are all kinds of people in this world.
     
    yellowmango and poovai like this.
  6. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with you all specially nakshatra1 and yellowmango. I devoted myself from day one to this marriage. Never let anyone interfere with my marriage life. Never gave expensive gifts to my side of family. Completely changed for my husband. My timetable, my eating cooking working style and many more as per his demands. I wanted to save money for my kids, my house because mil was shouting always never come back to India. Stay abroad and send money. We were so stressed always during recessions what if we loose jobs and we have to go back to India? My both pregnancies I was very stressed and tired due to office work kids work house work etc. My husband was strictly against hiring maid or any small help. He was never around to help me in chores. Whenever he had time he wanted to enjoy like playing with his friends, going out etc. Only I had to work and save money everywhere. We lived in shared accommodations to save money, managed without car, bear harsh depressing winters, struggled for jobs, gc, no help or kind words from anyone. After all this suffering how can one not become bitter and depressed? When I see my sil showing off her jewellery (which is paid by my saving ) and teasing me that my parents didn't give me anything how can I not become angry? My inlaws dont want my husband to go india or have no attachment with him or his kids. My mil never took care of her own kids or any housework.
    Now I tell him to go and live with his family forever. Husband is begging to forget past but how is it possible? He says he will get some of parents properly so it's ok he spent his saving on giving his sister. But there is no guarantee and his parents don't have any property either. His brother is living in father's house with his wife kids. Why would he sell and give any share?
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018

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