please suggest me whether to attend bil marriage

Hi Ishasri,
Just attend the wedding and ignore when anything nasty is said by your husband /inlaws about your parents or brother. Dont utter a word. If not possible, remove yourself from the place. Silence is too strong to comprehend and it will keep them wondering what is in your mind. For the present that is the best punishment they can get!! May be some time later you can correct them. It is infact a test of your inner strength and evolve victoriously.:thumbsup.
PadmasriS

 

Isha

First of all your parents or inlaws or husband are not the imp people to be there in the wedding right? so what if your parents wont be invited for your BILs wedding is that a big deal???? why do we make our lives so complex?? minding every small / big thing.

Your parents had to go on with fixing the date for yoru bros wedding because more than your husband they have to ensure their would be DIl and parents also need to agree to the dates right? If your husband couldnt confirm the dates of his return back how can your parents be blamed? but still your parents went to your inlaws house...and what did they get??? blame game???

Its your bros wedding, you are imp and your parents and the bride and her parents. period...no one else. even if you ask me, i would say , you are also not imp and if you happen to be travelling out of the country, I would say you shouldnt mind if you cant commit to any dates of your return back.

Now coming to your BILs wedding, if your inlaws want to do tit for tat , let it be...why areyou so bothered??? so what if your parents are not invited for the wedding? is it necessary to come to such peoples wedding and be treated like a third class citizen?? there also in the wedding your parents have to keep on bowing down to your inlaws ????

just chill and relax. its their sons wedding, let your inlaws decide whom they want to invite and who not to....do not react or show emotions. if your husband or inlaws ask about yoru reaction ..tell them...you wont interfere in any ones decisions. be it your parents or inlaws. let people invite whom they want to and who they dont want to.even if you push and make your inlaws invite your parents...and down the line if your parents fall sick or unable to make to the wedding, that will be another big issues blown out of proportion as your inlaws cant take this rejection. so dont push anyone here...dont feel bad/ sad/ hurt...just be cool. you enjoy the wedding and be done with it.

Now whehter your husband told his parents not to invite your parents or not ....you heard it from your co-sis...so just dont beleive it blindly. might be when hisparents were ranting he might have said ok do as you please....and his parents might have published it as dont call your parents kind....dont spoil your brain and mood over this.

 

It's not your wedding, so who cares whether you are invited or not? Really, if your inlaws are going to be petty and not invite you, or invite your dh but not you.... then it just shows how immature they are. You are living in a different country from your bil, and you probably dont even know the bride. Don't spoil your mental peace by worrying about stuff that's not important. I feel weddings are the #1 drama causer in Indian families. Don't let wedding drama drag you down. :thumbsup

 

Agree with the other posts on taking it easy on the invite....

But why the confusion? Perhaps you should work on the trust levels between you and your husband..... Why not ask him his take on this? Not in a "Look-at-how-nasty-your-parents-are" manner, but I think you should know what's behind this silence/asking them not to call business....

JMO

 

Please realise that you are with your husband not your parents. Why get take sides anyway ? Let your parents and PILs sort their problems , its not your battle. Dont discuss it with your DH at all.
Take part in the festivities and do your bit as a DIL of the house. Then nobody can point fingers at you , not even your DH.Just dont discuss your parents with them, keep mum.
We tend to forget that after marriage we have to balance two families without losing our cool. There will be many occasions where the two set of parents will not see eye to eye. So be it.
Relax its not your call, ignore your co-sisters words , maybe she doesnt want you to attend so that your relationship with PILs worsens.
This is a good opportunity to show that the fault does not lie with you.