please save my marriage. Need help. urgent!

For sure something is going there in his mind. Someone is brainwashing him badly. I am not situation to advise.

I feel you should stay with him and dont leave him. ..take him for counselling. Talk to him non-stop.

 

Stay there and spend ur time on christmas. Dont mind your H. Anyways wants to get rid of you. Let him do the honour. Can u access his money. If yes, do lot of shopping, dont come back till late night just like him, spend time in malls and gatherings where they celebrate christmas and new year. It would be good if you spend from credit card. He will have to pay after u leave. Brrrr

 

sorry to hear that. please stay strong. stay safe.

 

moumee...I am sorry to hear this, may god give you strength to overcome the difficult situation. Be strong and remember, IL family is here to support you.

 

I pity him for losing a wife who loves him so much. He doesn't realize how lucky he is to have you in his life.

For this reason, he is the loser and not you.

Your writing shows you are very level headed and will quickly recover from all this. Go back to India, forget about all this and concentrate on your career.

I would guess, that he would soon come running back to you. If he does, reject him and have the last laugh. You deserve much better than this! It is good that you are getting rid of him sooner than later! It would be daily torture, having to lead life with such wayward fool!

 

See, he has already decided to settle down in Mexico. To make his settlement process easy, I asked you long time ago to throw his Indian Passport in a nearby river in Mexico. Please do so at least now.

 

Are you kidding, SimpleMom ?

OP, I would suggest that you maintain your calm and composure and be strong. Please don't leave Mexico otherwise it would be easy for him to get a divorce on grounds of 'abandonment by wife' or on the grounds of 'staying separately for 6 months plus' etc. He might not have reached that stage yet to marry this woman and settle down.

In fact you should be the one to apply for divorce on grounds of infidelity by husband. For that, do not leave Mexico at all. He can't throw you out, for legal reasons.

I sense something seriously wrong with your husband. He is immature, he doesn't think through and is very fickle minded. I don't think his behaviour is an outcome of the fact that he is having an extra-marital affair. On the contrary, his affair is an outcome of his behaviour. In other words, even if he were to not have this affair, he would still behave weirdly and try to find faults with you and expect you to change. "I accept you as you are - with your shortcomings" is not something he has learnt or been taught in life.

I see this behaviour an outcome of his faulty upbringing. He seems to be a mollycoddled son who got everything he wanted and never really had to struggle much. I wont be surprised to know that he is the youngest child in the family and that he was never given any serious responsibilities. He got you when he wanted you and now he doesn't want you. He has not been taught the value of relationships. He probably won't even have serious relationships with his parents or siblings. I guess your ILs have contributed to this damage, even though indirectly. Based upon this you may like to decide whether you want to continue in this marriage, whether you want to have kids with him or you would like to divorce him.

As one of the posters said, if you again become attractive to him vis-a-vis others, and you try to move on with someone else, he will want to have you again not for what you are but for the reason that you are a sought-after object. Carla may be the sought-after person in his current circles now, I guess!

Sorry if I am wrong in my assumptions but this is my analysis.

 

You could have responded to OP in a more civil way - without making fun of other member's response.