Hi KP55, No i dont like being abused.. who does?? i thought maybe, just maybe if given some time things could change. Everything said and done i love that man.. he is my husband because i love him and not the other way round.. i am a fairly attractive woman, but perhaps you are right my husband does not find me attractive any more. But shuld i really try to be 'sexy' around him?If i focus more on him when he is all but ignoring me, will i not be indirectly sending him a message that i want to be treated badly? will i not be giving him an idea that 'give me less and i'll offer you more of my time, energy and love'? Dear sweetypi, i never thought about divorce on grounds of desertion. Well the way he has become now, anything is possible with him. Its impossible to believe that i'm banished from his memory to nothingness so easily..i know i have to be strong but detaching from the pain is the last thing on my mind right now, as i am still trying to appendage the haemorrhaging gash in the pit of my stomach, the sinking feeling..