1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  5. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Please help me :(

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Anurima, Mar 15, 2010.

  1. Anurima

    Anurima New IL'ite

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Caditi%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Caditi%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Caditi%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:punctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true" DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99" LatentStyleCount="267"> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:eek:ther; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} p {mso-style-priority:99; mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> My husband and his cousin brother are too close. My husband consider him as own brother since my husband doesn't have any siblings(the only kid for his parents). My husband's brother is such a nice guy yet we just cannot seem to get his wife to like us. She is not nice towards anyone of his family too. Unfortunately she hates me like anything since everyone likes me and appreciates me. We try to bond with her but she refuses all of our attempts. She feels competition, jealousy, and anger toward us and will do anything to make us feel stupid and unwelcome.
    My brother in law gives much importance to my hubby and me. He considers us like his mom and dad since he lost his dad when he was young. He was in a worst state in his life and we only brought him to a normal state and arranged his marriage. So he gives much importance to us and told his wife before engagement itself that we are so important to him. His wife told that she is so happy that my BIL gives much respect to us and she is happy to come to this family etc. He wanted to inform about this before marriage itself since there should not be any problems in future due to jealousy or whatever.
    After marriage only we came to know about her real face. She doesn’t even like him talking to his mom! Just think! She wants him to always come after her and obey whatever she says. She wants him to call her and talk when he is at office and roam with her all the time as well as give his laptop to her, mobile to her and everything to her. From day 1 itself she ignored me and my husband like anything and we realized that she didn’t like our presence at all. So we started moving away from him for his happiness. We thought at least let him be happy. She started torturing him like anything from morning to night. She wants to roam with him always (24/7) but when he takes her outside, she starts telling that nothing is good in this city. Everything bores her. She can’t enjoy anything. She will not cook food at all. He should take to restaurant always. My BIL was much disappointed and he couldn’t handle. He missed us much and couldn’t digest that we are away from him. She doesn’t even allow him to talk to us. She doesn’t want to be with her mother in law. She wants to purchase a new house using his money and she is not ready to spend even a single penny even though she is earning good. Since my BIL is not having dad, it’s his responsibility to take care of his mom and young brother. She doesn’t like people questioning her. She will not allow my BIL to sleep at night and ask thousand questions to him and pester him to talk something. We are apart from his whole family and even grandparents for her happiness. Even then she is not satisfied. She is always finding some problems within the family and BIL’s family and BIL lost patience and stopped being quiet and kind. They started pin pointing her mistakes and my BIL started shouting if she shouts. Now she is telling that people are harassing her and she is going to put case on the family. My BIL tried to convince her and at one stage said “Do as you wish”. She started being quiet and after some days started showing her real color. Same thing is happening again and again. She claims that she is so caring and lovable but my BIL is not at all romantic. My BIL’s mom and granny (my husband’s granny too) loves me so much and praises me which she don’t like and shout at people asking them to stop talking about me completely and consider her alone as DIL.
    My BIL wants to join with us again since he is not happy in our absence. He is so dull due to our absence and his wife started shouting that she will make my BIL join with us and she will run off. She is saying she is sacrificing her life to make my BIL happy. She is telling frankly that she doesn’t like me at all since I am close to my BIL and controlling my BIL when he is doing something wrong. In simple words she doesn’t like him giving importance to my hubby or me. So please tell me how to handle this.
     
    Loading...

  2. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    301
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    i understand what you are saying but thats surprising as how your BIL can say all these things to you people i mean about his wife..may be thats the reason she dont want him to talk to anyone of you as he is discussing their family matters with you all
    and i dono its been how long they are married but in the initial days of marriage every women wants to spend time with their husbands yes may be 24x7 if posisble as it takes time for people to adjust to new environment after leaving parents
    i guess if she does not like you guys its her problem and her dhs issue you be what you are dont expect much for them
     
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  3. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,369
    Likes Received:
    357
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    Actually, I feel she is not the only one who views things as a competition.... looks like YOU do too. Look, you need to back off. Give your bil time to bond with his wife and to get over hanging out with you and your dh all the time. Just because you used to see each other every day before or whatever, doesn't mean it must be like that from now until the end of time. If you know your hovering is causing tension in his marriage, BACK OFF.

    This guy's family is always bragging about you and your 'greatness', obviously this other woman will be feeling like crap hearing about it. But instead of understanding how that would make her feel, looks like you are almost proud at getting all their attention and praise... even if it is hurting this new girl. What is wrong with you? Can't you see this praise isn't worth getting if it comes at the expense of somebody elses feelings? You mentioned that the girl wants to be considered as dil, but it's not happening because his family is so hung up on 'you', talking about 'you' constantly. My suggestion is, either ditch your husband and go marry into that family to shut them up, or just back off so that the new dil has time to gel with the family and earn their praise too. And if you catch bil's family praising you, let them know gently that it might be hurting their new dil's feelings to be compared to you.

    Also, I find it disturbing that you know so many details of their personal life and what is going on in their house. Another sign that you are TOO INVOLVED. Next time your bil talks to you about every xyz problem he is having with his wife, tell him he needs to work it out with her and TALK IT OUT. Instead of lapping up his gossip, please encourage him to sit down with his wife and work their issues out TOGETHER without involving YOU or any other relative.

    You are judging her for not wanting him to talk to his mom or be around his family or feeling harrassed.... but HOLD ON! You don't know what things are really like over at her house! And how do you know that she even said those things? Couldn't it be that she said 'please let's keep our issues private and not share everything with your mom' and he turned it into 'she doesn't want me to talk to my mom'??? Yeah, that could be! I have seen it happen, where one person says ABC and the other person interprets it as XYZ.

    And really, all this DOESNT CONCERN YOU. Stop talking about this girl's "true colors" and focus on your own marriage and let these two work on their's. She is saying that you are controlling... now whether you are or aren't, please realize that you are part of what is ruining their marriage so give them some space. This isn't a tug of war game... she is his WIFE, and no matter how you dice it, she is now more important in his life than you. Please, you already have one husband, don't get posessive over another girl's husband as well. If you love your bil, then you will back off enough to let him work on his marriage and convince him that his rightful place now is by his wife's side and not by yours and dh's. If even their marriage fails after you giving space, then at least you will know you were not part of the break up of a marriage.

    That is my opinion on the matter. Maybe it was not what you wanted to hear, but I felt it was what you NEEDED to hear. Good luck to you and everyone involved.
     
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  4. sridivya

    sridivya New IL'ite

    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I would first ask you to BACK OFF!!

    You seem to be knowing too many details as to what is happening from dawn to dusk in their house. You are describing everything as if you are living with them under one roof.

    The couple need to be LEFT ALONE!! They are both grown-up, adults and they DO NOT need your involvement in their personal affairs. What she asks him to do and what he does is entirely up to them. Please do not interfere in their matters. I do not see any danger to anyone's life here.
    It is just that they both are at a stage in their married life where they are getting to know each other's temperment.....thats all I see from your post.

    So, you guys disappear from the scene and let them take control of their life as they wish. You may not like this but I got to tell you this
    THEY REALLY DO NOT NEED YOUR HELP ....:exactly:


    Sridivya
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2010
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  5. shrutidunwoody

    shrutidunwoody Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    42
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Anurima, in addition to all the above i would just say that the same mother inlaw that praises you, may not praise her actual daughter inlaw. That poor girl must be doing her best to get a close bond with husband and her mother inlaw but whenever you are being praised or compared with her , can you understand what she must be going through.

    And moreover just remember one thing a typical mother inlaw will never appreciate her own dil even if the dil does her best . but in general always tend to appreciate some others dil.

    So you dont have to be much happy about it as she is your cousins mother in law who praises you.

    And like everbody said please leave them alone to sort things amongst themselves.
     
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  6. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,937
    Likes Received:
    1,465
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    After marriage each one's priorities will change. I used to close with my cousins before marriage now simply it's not possible because I need to give priority for my family first and rest comes later.
    I know one of our male friends got married saying to her wife that one of his female friend his sole mate and would be wife agreed to it. I believe that time would be wife really don't know role of wife until she married and she will have no idea how these things will effect her and her marriage. Simply people don't know the after math of marriage. Here nothing to do with changing colors. She might think before marriage that should be fine but after marriage they get to know reality and they need to evaluate themselves what they really want or not.
    Anyhow any wife would dream to have every second of men’s time at least for couple of years after the marriage but same thing will not apply to men.
    If he has some issues with his wife, he should stand up and sorted out himself but he shouldn't look for your support because you guys are always favor to him no matter what.Please stop accepting that she should give priority to you guys.What if ,if that girl had some close one from her family,Is her husband giving priority to them all the time?
    Each family will have up and downs and no family is perfect and each DIL will have issues with MIL.So leave them alone and let them sorted out there differences.
    BTW,do you have any sisters and brothers?Do you also accept them to be close with you all the time even after there marraiges.If he is happy with your family then he should stayed with you by being unmarried.Once people are married they need to consider the other person likes and dislikes too.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2010
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  7. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    30
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    While reading your post, I couldn't help but think from your BIL's wife's point of view.

    When a girl gets married, she changes her priorities and gives her husband the top most slot. Similarly, she expects her husband to give her the highest prioriity. But your BIL doesn't seem to be doing that.

    Comparison between DILs within a family itself is irritating. But your BILs mother is comparing her DIL with you (DIL from another family). That will irk anybody.:bonk

    I don't see anything wrong in a new bride to want to spend 24x7 with her husband. If she feels the city is boring, it might be a hint for her husband to take her some place nice like on a honeymoon.

    Anyways, you seem to have too much influence on you BIL. His thinking of you and your hubby as parents is good, but his wife should not be forced to have two MILs.

    For things to work out fine, you should give the newly married couple some space and explain to your BIL that his wife should be his top priority and that he should not discuss about his wife with outsiders, including you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2010
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  8. Mihisha

    Mihisha Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    184
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Anurima
    Sorry to hear about your brother-in-law’s marriage issues. It must be hurting both you and DH as you both are attached to your BIL. We all know that in arranged marriages, incompatibility due to lifestyles and behavior is very common.

    With experience, I can tell that the only reason she is behaving this way is she is not happy with your BIL (some sort of sexual/behavior incompatibility is there) and we cannot do anything about it.

    She is not satisfied in this marriage and there cud be many reasons, As mentioned by everyone else here, I agree on u guys backing off because she might be feeling hurt as her ILs side are always praising you. So convince all those people to try giving her due importance and not mention ur/urDH name for next few months and see if there is any change in her behavior.

    How do you know so many details about their life? Like when he takes her out, she says city is boring etc, who shares it with you, your BIL? Or her ILs? I feel both BIL and she need to work out a solution, they need to be private in their lives and u too advise your BIL the same when he wants to vent out…..

    There are some similarities with my cousin’s life. I came to know the details after their marriage was over and his mom spilled the beans. My cousin’s wife was like that. My cousin used to come back from office tired and sapped up and this wife of his ( who was a teacher) , she used to come in the afternoon and would sleep for couple of hours by the time my cousin wud come back from office, she wud be fresh from sleep and wud demand going outside every single day. After coming frm school, she never even wud say hi/hello to my cousins mom, never cooked any single day, my cousins mom used to prepare bfast , pack lunches to them always and treated her like her own daughter, never interfered in their lives……All this is true because I know my cousin’s mom inside out….She always demanded to eat out, mostly junk food and going to parties, her own parental home almost daily and weekend is a must….. which was becoming bone of contention between them. She also used to complain about not getting enuf romance in life, despite my cousin taking her to vacation including at goa/east india every three/four months. My aunt herself used to encourage them to go out and have fun. I guess some immature girls think that romance is all what we see in movies, without thinking about how the house is gonna be running if we don’t focus on our career too. In the end, they used to fight very ugly and things became horrible and one fine day, she left home taking all the lakhs of jewellary my aunt had given her, my aunt’s jewellary, all costly sarees of my aunt and never came back. She filed false case on them. Blatant lies in the case, like my cousin beat her up and she made medical certificate for that also! like My cousin's sister kicked her out, which was such a white lie that their lawyer tad to remove it because his sister lives in singapore, how can she kick her frm singapore? Very very luckily, they r divorced today by mutual consent (which takes at the max 2yrs) , my cousin was not able to fulfill her demands. The girl family was so shameless they asked 20 lakhs upfront to withdraw the false case, all that in front of police…it was a game for them! We now know she had an affair with someone and that guy has ditched her.

    So, if she is of above types, whatever ur BIL and his family does to keep her happy, it wud not be enough for her….My suggestion is if she is threatening to file case, she will. Just be very careful, ask your BIL to keep record of everything he spends on her because in the case she is going to blame him that he never spends etc….

    Bottomline is: you guys keep distance and tell him that u r around to back him up in worst case, advise him to work his marriage keeping things private and try bonding with his girl, convey BIL’s mom and other people to NOT to praise u and DH anymore as it hurts her, be careful with the false harassment case as it might become reality and u and DH might also get engulfed in this if she is really pissed off with u, keep a lawyer handy.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2010
  9. Anurima

    Anurima New IL'ite

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for the replies. I think I was not clear in giving the explanations. Sorry for not being clear!
    lavii,
    BIL never told anything to anyone of us as it is something personal to him. We are not even talking to him or going to his home till date for my co sister's happiness. We are in some other city(particularly shifted house for her). BIL’s mom use to call my MIL and cry that her son (i.e my BIL)is not leading a happy life. The whole street knows that problems are going on in that house (that much my co-sister shouts). So when my BIL’s mom hears this sound, she use to go to him and ask what happened and are there any problems etc. For many days my BIL did not tell anything and managed. One day it went to extreme like she started throwing things out of the house. Obviously my BIL’s mom need to interrupt and came to all these things from my BIL. When my BIL’s mom asked my co – sister, she told that she is not ready to clean vessels or clean house and she needs a servant. She also told she doesn’t like my granny’s food preparation and she want to eat food outside. From my MIL only I came to know everything. I also want to let you know that we don’t expect anything from them.
    asuitablegirl ,
    <!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<!--[endif]-->We don’t want to see him daily or spend with him daily. We are also matured to understand my co-sister’s feelings and we do have manners that we should leave them alone till they get a good bond. Since we knew that our hovering is causing tension in his marriage, WE BACKED OFF.
    <!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<!--[endif]-->They are not always bragging about me and my ‘greatness’. I never mentioned in my post that it is happening always. I will tell you the examples where they praised me and then you will be able to understand clearly.
    Situation 1: I completed my higher studies with gold medal. So my BIL’s mom was telling his younger brother to keep me as a role model and come up in life
    Situation 2: My BIL’s neighbor plays guitar well and even me too. When my BIL’s neighbor came and discussed about guitar, my BIL’s mom told that our Anurima also play well. In the past 9 months of their married life, these were the only 2 scenarios where they talked about me in front of her. My co sister is actually so cute and good at hand work. My MIL’s mom use to appreciate her for these and encouraged her a lot which my MIL itself saw it directly.

    <!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<!--[endif]-->I never mentioned in my post that his family is so hung up on 'me', talking about 'me' constantly.
    You have written like “My suggestion is, either ditch your husband and go marry into that family to shut them up, or just back off so that the new dil has time to gel with the family and earn their praise too.”
    It hurts me a lot friend. Really my heart is broken after reading these lines. L May be its my mistake that I was not clear. But please confirm before hurting anyone whether they really mean what you think. I too have seen where one person says ABC and the other person interprets it as XYZ. But my co-sister told this in front of everyone when my MIL and FIL went to sort out issues. She said she is from a nuclear family and so she can’t adjust or live in a joint family and since he is married, he should not talk with his mom as he got his wife now.
    <!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<!--[endif]-->I never controlled him at any time. During marriage, he was not interested in taking too many photos but my co-sister expected. So me and my DH explained (in her words controlled) him that these are quite normal, please adjust and take photos to make her happy. I don’t find anything wrong in this as I didn’t interfere in their privacy or something.
    Hope it’s very clear now and there are no loop holes in my explanation.
    FYI: I am not a cheap person to ditch my husband or love my BIL. I love my husband and my BIL is our first kid. I am also from a decent family and a homely girl.
    sridivya,
    As you say they really DIDN’T need our help or interference. But since she went to lawyer, my BIL’s mom is so confused and asked my DH, MIL, FIL and I for opinion as what should be done. My BIL is not having dad as I already told. So my BIL’S MOM is having only us to discuss this with.
    shrutidunwoody,
    They never compared me with her friend. Only two scenarios happened which I have mentioned above. My MIL or BIL’s mom is not like normal MIL. My MIL is like my mom and BIL’s mom also behaves like that only to my co-sister. I am so lucky to have such a good MIL and even my co-sister is lucky.
    Priya16,
    We also know that priorities change after marriage. For me also my Dh only first and then rest and for him also I am only first and then rest. The same applies for my BIL also but it doesn’t mean that he should not talk to his mom at all right? He never came to us for sorting out problems. Hope you understood my explanation above. If a person is happy in our presence, it doesn’t mean that he should stay unmarried. If it’s like he want to be with us 24*7 or wants to meet us daily, then what you are saying is 100% correct. But it’s not like that. He wants to wish us during our wedding day/Birthday. Is that wrong? He doesn’t have rights to wish us?
    sita2223,
    I think it’s very clear for you also now. My BIL’s mom never compared me with her. She simply appreciated my ability. I also don't see anything wrong in a new bride to want to spend 24x7 with her husband. Of course she has all rights. But for that he can’t take leave for 9 months right? He is going to office at 9AM and coming back at 6PM. These timings are fine only for anyone. She is asking him to stay at home and work. How do you expect a person to spend money for restaurants daily? Is that possible? His wife is only his top priority and we are not in to that. He never discussed his personal matters to us at anytime.
    Mihisha,
    Thanks a lot for understanding my explanation. She is not allowing my BIL to a have sexual relationship with her. My co sister told this in front of all (her MIL, my MIL, my Fil) that she will allow for sexual relationship only if my BIL comes to a new house and accept for the nuclear family. We really don’t know what to do. That’s why I came to this forum to get suggestions. But I am deeply hurt. I think I didn’t express correctly since I was already depressed due to my BIL’s family issues. Once again thanks for understanding me.

    SORRY FOR NOT BEING CLEAR. PLEASE EXCUSE ME MY FRIENDS.
     
  10. arthidiva

    arthidiva Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,383
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    deleting post.. cross posted with the OP.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2010

Share This Page