I have been reading this website for a long time and I am impressed by the advice given by our fellow Ilites. I have registered especially today in order to post my query and get some guidance. I am lucky to have the most wonderful husband and we are blessed with a beautiful 3 year old daughter. My problem is that I am incapable of dealing with my inlaws. Let me explain. I am married for 6 years & my hubby is the only child of his parents. Initially we were living with them (in India) but since past 3 years we have moved abroad. My inlaws also moved with us on a long term visa. They stay with us for a 8-9 months of the year & go back for 2 –3 months. Initial few years of my marriage was quiet peaceful and harmonious but as the time goes by I am finding it very difficult to adjust with them. My Fil’s nature is very antisocial. He is very impatient and gets great pleasure form taunting others and passing sarcastic comments. My MIL was very nice to me during the initial years of marriage but she has changed a lot now. She is like a boss in the house and spends all her time looking for things to criticize me. She will use very harsh words like ‘ is this what your mom has taught u ‘ etc for something very very minor. I have a full time maid & I work full time but both of them will keep scolding the maid too. Because of this I also avoid talking with them too much as they will find fault in whatever I say or do & will again torture me with their comments. They think that I am purposely trying to hurt them or take their son/ grandchild away from them. I am trying to do as much as I can to make them comfortable. I have given them an ATM card, asked my maid to follow all their instructions & cook what they like, we take them out almost every weekend for outings, I also arranged to take them abroad to other places in the region. I think that the reason why they are behaving this way is some insecurity. Previously we used to live in their house while now they are staying with us so maybe they feel some loss of power. Previously hubby & me would have frequent fights as I would never complain to him when ever ils would fight with me while they would fill his mind against me. Now I have started telling all the facts to him so he understands me & does not fight. I never blame them or criticize them to my husband. He knows that I do care about them but I am disturbed by their attitude. My hubby knows his dad’s nature & he has tried many times to tell them not to get so excited about small incidents and try to trust me. But they scold him and call him ‘joru ka gulam’ when he tries to support me. Now we have planned a trip back to India and this time both hubby & me have not asked my ils to come back with us to Singapore. We are fed up with the daily fights & I feel that if we stay away from each other there will not be any issues. I would like it best if we can adjust & live with each other but it is seeming increasingly difficult. The problem is that my Ils are extremely attached to my kid and also to their son & I feel very guilty separating them. What should I do? There is no peace in the house when they are here. Both of us have tried many times to explain to them to relax and enjoy their life but it is no use. When they are in a crabby mood I ignore them & when they talk to me nicely I too spend a lot of time chatting with them. But dh is caught between his parents & his wife as he does not like it when I ignore them or when his parents scold me. That is why he feels that it is better to live separately. But we do have our duty towards our parents too. If parents want to stay with us isn’t it wrong to keep them away? Anyway whenever they r in India they will call almost 5 to 6 times in a day to speak with dh and my daughter, they miss them so much. Please tell me what to do? Should I invite them back this time or live peacefully with my small family?