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please help.i need your advise

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by sknaaz, May 14, 2010.

  1. sknaaz

    sknaaz New IL'ite

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    hi friends,
    i need your help ASAP.please give me a minute here.
    one of my frnd Miss A is due next month and we thought of giving her a surprise shower but she had some complications in her pregnancy,so we dint took any chance.now her mom and sister have come from india to help her.one of our friend Miss X asked her mom about the shower(indian style godh bharai and all)and they said that they dont have any such tradition but they wud like to involve in anything we usually do here in US.today Miss A called Miss X and told that she want to do it after 2 days but not at their home as there is lot of cleaning to do at home after the shower,so they want to do at somebody else's place.Miss X called me and told all this.i dont know how their conversation went . she said that cleaning is a problem for everyone as everyone is busy and have kids.we dont understand this.if this is a surprsie one,we were ready to host it,but now its not like that.this frnd of mine Miss X is going to india and she cant take this hosting before one day of her flight .hosting willingly is different but now as she had demanded of it we feel bad on this.though she has her sis and mom for her help. its going to be a potluck kind but as for the venue,we are in dilemma.and time is short.may be iam taking it too serious as this Miss X might have exaggerated the discussion they both had.Miss X was opting for hosting shower in some restaurant so that nobody gets stressed in cleaning and the bill we can share among ourself.anybody needs sometime to manage and decorate for occasssions like these.how can she just give us 2 days.she is asking us to talk to others and decide where to host.
    do u have any suggestions,please share.i dont want any misunderstandings by refusing at my place or anything.dont know how to deal with this.
     
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  2. navs23

    navs23 Platinum IL'ite

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    Here's what we did for one of our friends in a similar situation.
    We pooled some $ and booked a inexpensive party hall for the evening(apartment leasing office) and ordered for catering service, who also provided the plates,cups etc. Just did some basic dollar store decorations(few balloons and easy to remove posters etc). Cleaning up was not a big deal as it was all use and discard kind of stuff and we just had to vacuum the place once. We also bought a Toys R Us, Carters gift card from the balance pooled money.
     
  3. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    SKNaaz..

    Are you guys going to make it like a party kind of thing (just serve food, cut cake, give gifts) or do a formal baby shower - the full version like making her sit on floor/chair, and one by one girls put bangles on her, 'nalungu' , aarti etc?

    -If it is going to be like any other potluck, you can opt for a nearby park.
    -If she is not expecting a formal baby shower, you can cut down those..
    Or if she expects & if you guys are comfortable to do it in a less crowded park, go for it.

    Not much clean up there in parks.. use disposable cups, plates etc (not eco friendly, yet)

    Other venue I could think of is any apartment complex clubhouse if available.. but clean up is a hassle in clubhouses..
     
  4. sknaaz

    sknaaz New IL'ite

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    thank you frnds for ur advise.the thing is she dint talked about all this with me,i dont why,although we talk daily on phone.she is asking this Miss X to initiate and talk to me and others to decide.this Miss X told that her mom gonna put some coconut and do some ritual,which iam completely unaware of.iam ready to host this party but hesitating as dont know how its gonna be(to be frank,being a muslim we dont have any such ritual).for me they did that andhra style shrimantam,cut cake and gave me gift card at one of my telugu frnds place where this Miss A too took part.i really appreciate that and want this Miss A too to feel that way but time is short and she is not interacting to me directly about this.shall i call her and ask her in detail what all she wants to do and where?or just convey this Miss X .but dont know how this miss X will translate my words to her.Bigggg confusion here.have to solve this ASAP.
    thank you oce again frnds...
     
  5. mridusudha

    mridusudha Silver IL'ite

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    I would say interact with your friend directly and ask her what exactly she wants.
    The more the number of people involved, the more confusion. so just talk to your friend directly and ask her what is she expecting in the party.
     
  6. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    SKNaaz,
    Appreciate you taking initiative to do this regardless of caste creed religion.. which is the way it should be. We have a Muslim friend in our gang and only now I even remember that we belong to different religion. A pat on the back to all of us. :thumbsup

    Since this is no more a surprise party, I don't see why not you call her up and decide. But there is one caveat. If you ask her and she gives a detailed procedure, then you will be bound to follow. I am not sure how elaborate the procedure would be as per their customs.

    May be you can tell her, "hey dear A, shall we do it like this, on this day, at this place? What say you? Is that ok?" And she will get an idea of what is in your mind and she may slightly customize it without asking for a total redo.

    In anycase, a babyshower should be done out of will, love and interest. If it turns out to be a return-of-favor or let-us-get-it-over-with deed, it would lose its very essence of friendship. So bend as much as you can. :)

    Congratulations on the Baby Shower to your friend. And good luck to you too for arranging it. :thumbsup
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2010
  7. sknaaz

    sknaaz New IL'ite

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    hi frnds..
    just wanted to say lots of thanks for your advise.it had been great help from u guys.i organised the baby shower at my home.it was fun.i had to discuss lil bit with her but anyways that has to be done as i was hosting it,i dint want to miss anything.we did all in the telegu style.we did potluck and did cute decorations and bought her a baby swing.she was very happy.we had a good time too.
    thanks frnds
     
  8. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Thts wonderful skaanz!
     
  9. sruthinaidu

    sruthinaidu New IL'ite

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    sknaaz,

    You have a good heart.

    God bless you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2010
  10. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    :cheers to SKNaaz! Good job, Girl! The satisfaction you get after is worth the effort. :thumbsup
     

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