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Please help...Husband and Inlaws forcing to leave my job...

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by krs, Feb 25, 2013.

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  1. Feb 25, 2013 #31
    swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    I can completely understand where you are coming from...but my only question was ... the efforts you have taken to solve the problem on hand is close to "nothing"...

    As per my understanding the "MD" is the only problem... what have you done to throw him out of yourlife?? when I say this, I don't mean have a fight or be rude or anything like that... I mean moving this MD guy from a position of having "much influence" to "little influence" to "No influence" ... you are still not saying that this transition has happened or atleast if you have thought about it and tried doing it.... I don't think this thought has even crossed your mind... you want to keep the present job and its MD contant and work everything else around it... like your parent's attention, your ILs trust everything... isn't it easier to just let go of the MD and negotiate peace...

    If this MD is a well meaning guy and wishes only good for you.. I am sure he will take a step back and let you lead your life as per your new terms...
     
    swt.charu, Feb 25, 2013
    swt.charu, Feb 25, 2013
    #31
  2. Feb 25, 2013 #32
    krs

    krs Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey he is almost 50+ If he is suspect me then i think i had made my decision of not leaving the job and going there is good, because i dont want to live with a person who doesnot believe his wife. Because if he is a suspicious person then there is no end for him to suspect me with anybody throughtout my life. This is not the reason for him not seeing the child, thats because he doesnot want to come to my house to see the child rather doesnot like meeting outside. Even when we are married he doesnot take me outside saying somebody will see us.

    I strongly feel its the influence of his mum and brother. But even they do doesnot he has the ability to think what is right and take decision. Its a life so he should have thought by himself.
     
    krs, Feb 25, 2013
    krs, Feb 25, 2013
    #32
    3 people like this.
  3. Feb 25, 2013 #33
    krs

    krs Bronze IL'ite

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    Charu,

    If i leave my job and go where is the security for me and my child and what is the assurance of these people suspecting me with others in a day to day life. How do you that i havenot done anything to keep up my married life.
     
    krs, Feb 25, 2013
    krs, Feb 25, 2013
    #33
  4. Feb 25, 2013 #34
    bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Whatever it is, MD thing is there are not,it does not justify your DH and MIL's actions.Do not leave your job at any circumstances.Your MIL and hubby do not seem to be of reasonable kind.
     
    bhuvnidhi, Feb 25, 2013
    bhuvnidhi, Feb 25, 2013
    #34
  5. Feb 25, 2013 #35
    anjish

    anjish Silver IL'ite

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    Dear,
    do not ever think about to leave the job.
    Ask ur husband( only husband not MIL) is it okay if you join another company.
     
    anjish, Feb 25, 2013
    anjish, Feb 25, 2013
    #35
  6. Feb 26, 2013 #36
    sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    OP, can you please begin at the beginning......

    1. After getting married, did you move from your parent's house to your husband's?
    2. How far is your husband's place from your parent's place?
    3. Where did you spend your pregnancy period?
    4. Where did you deliver?
    5. After delivery, did you try go back to your husband's house along with the baby?
    6. Did you ask him to come and take you?
    7. What did he say at that time? Did he say, if you want to come, first leave your job and the come to me?
    8. Did you say no & stayed back at your parent's place? Did you ask why he wants you to leave your job, then?
    9. Where exactly does MD come into this? Did he give the reason of MD at that time itself, or was it developed when time passed by?
    10. Have you been pushing time like this for last 3 yrs? What did you do in between? What did your parents do? What do they have to say about this?
    11. Did you have maternity leave in your company? Did you spend it at your parent's place itself?
     
    sweetshreya, Feb 26, 2013
    sweetshreya, Feb 26, 2013
    #36
  7. Feb 26, 2013 #37
    Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

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    One more biggest question one can ask if you are not leaving with ur husband from 3yrs then what are u waiting for? What's the point in staying in such a marriage where a father do not want to see his child's face or meet him??? Rather than asking should I leave my job you should hv ask us Should I leave my husband? ?? Should I file for divorce? ?? There is something more u r not talking about..
     
    Pranjjal, Feb 26, 2013
    Pranjjal, Feb 26, 2013
    #37
  8. Feb 26, 2013 #38
    krs

    krs Bronze IL'ite

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    @pranjjal: There is nothing more to talk, this is the fact. My inlaw and Husb are not person who tells things and stick to it. They will try confuse us by talking differently. Even i know the point which i raissed about leaving job is waste, but i wanted to know i took a right decision. The next step is may be wait for some more time for him to clear his mind and accept me or make some other decisions.

    @sweetshreya: I was with my husband only after marriage. I came to my mom house for pregnancy it was in next street only. I got labour pain and admitted in hospital in afternoon and my father and bro informed my husb. He came in the evening and took some sign in the isurance papers and went home. Then during 11pm i was in pain and my bro informed him as i was taken to labour ward and the baby was born around 3am. He never even borthered to come to hospital which is 10mins from his home.My bro felt very bad as i started crying that nobody came from my inlaws house. So he asked my husb how fair are you as husband and a father. This statement annoyed him and he stopped talking with my bro. But i dntt bother about that. After 2months of delivery he stopped coming to see the child. Whenever i called him he used to give me some reasons which are very irrelavant and after a year i got irritated.

    One day my father went to their house and spoke to them, where they insulted my family and told she neednot go to job and stay here. My father said let her come here and going to job will decide later since the baby is small she cannot anyway go now. For that they said only after leaving job she can come.

    Hey its a long one if i keep telling what they did and spoke during my married days it will go into pages.

    Now am clear that i willnot leave the job at any cost, because when a person didnot care about his wife and child for 3years how will i have the courage to leave the job and go and live this bunch of people who has no heart.
     
    krs, Feb 26, 2013
    krs, Feb 26, 2013
    #38
  9. Feb 26, 2013 #39
    OliveOyl

    OliveOyl Gold IL'ite

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    Hey OP,

    Dont quit. But if quitting is the ONLY way to lead a married life with him, and it is the ONLY thing breaking up this marriage, then think again.

    How important is it for you to be married to this guy, and have him as a father to your child? How important is it for you to ensure that you live together as one family?

    Then you can decide. If you feel job is more important than everything, probably continuing would be a good idea. But at what cost? Have you thought about it?
     
    OliveOyl, Feb 26, 2013
    OliveOyl, Feb 26, 2013
    #39
  10. Feb 26, 2013 #40
    sweetyappy

    sweetyappy Senior IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    Looks from all your posts is its been 3 yrs and still you are thinking of quitting a job and going to ur H house. Is it that worth? Does he deserve that?
    On other side of it, your H side is not that clear, but if its just about quitting the job and still he does not come to meet his own kid, then why are you even thinking of him ... Just continue your job. You have to look after your LO as well as your parents now.
     
    sweetyappy, Feb 26, 2013
    sweetyappy, Feb 26, 2013
    #40
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